☤ 004

[mintjulep]

If you're going to have sex with an alien species, make sure to talk to your doctor first. Chances are they secrete pheromones that will alter your way of thinking, secrete oils that will give you an allergic reaction, have spines attached to their genitals, or have suckers on their tentacles. If that doesn't put you off the experience, we'd at least like to make sure we've vaccinated you against whatever they might be carrying -- which we can do in 2258, at least where I come from. We'd also like to get a look at your partner, especially if it's a species we don't know much about. That'll make our job easier later on.

Remember that a lot of species, even humanoid ones, are probably stronger than you. Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons all have two legs and two arms, but they can break you in half. Hell, in Klingon society, breaking a clavicle on the wedding night is considered a blessing. A lot of species may think that you having sex with them is a proposal of marriage, too; make sure you know your alien cultures before you stick it in, because if they're part of the Federation, it might be legally binding.

Comments

[iwatchtjhooker]

I don't know if "I'm sorry" is appropriate here or not.

[mintjulep]

Honestly? Neither do I.

[iwatchtjhooker]

[Sam laughs.]

Still, wouldn't trade him for anything.

[mintjulep]

[ He wouldn't either. ]

So I've got your brother's name, but I've got no idea what to call you.

[iwatchtjhooker]

Oh man, sorry. Sam.

[mintjulep]

McCoy. Leonard McCoy.

[iwatchtjhooker]

Nice to meet you. You seem to know a lot about... space.

[mintjulep]

I'd hope so. [ Sigh. You people from the past. ] I'm CMO on a starship.

[iwatchtjhooker]

Wow. [Sam's eyes widen.] You seem so normal.

[mintjulep]

Space travel is pretty normal, where I'm from. [ Pause. ] When I'm from.

[iwatchtjhooker]

That's gotta be pretty cool.

[mintjulep]

It can be. [ You know, when planets aren't blowing up. ]

[iwatchtjhooker]

Oh. I guess it's sort of old hat for you. Like, me meeting someone who's all excited because I can cross state lines in an hour or two.

[mintjulep]

Not sure I'd go that far -- there are a lot of things out there, and space is a dangerous place. But space travel itself, yeah, that's not something I get too excited over.

[iwatchtjhooker]

I get that. I just can't really imagine it. That's so cool.

[mintjulep]

And dangerous.

[ That's a very important thing to remember. ]

Not as dangerous now as it must be when you're from, but still dangerous.

[iwatchtjhooker]

Yeah, well, it's sort of impossible where I'm from, I mean when, except for a few people. So I don't worry about it a lot.

I bet driving is still more dangerous.

[mintjulep]

We have hovercars.

[ Not even going to get into the statistics. Instead he'll just throw Sam that bone. ]

[iwatchtjhooker]

[Sam's eyes widen.]

Please tell me you've gotten rid of gasoline.