☤ 004

[mintjulep]

If you're going to have sex with an alien species, make sure to talk to your doctor first. Chances are they secrete pheromones that will alter your way of thinking, secrete oils that will give you an allergic reaction, have spines attached to their genitals, or have suckers on their tentacles. If that doesn't put you off the experience, we'd at least like to make sure we've vaccinated you against whatever they might be carrying -- which we can do in 2258, at least where I come from. We'd also like to get a look at your partner, especially if it's a species we don't know much about. That'll make our job easier later on.

Remember that a lot of species, even humanoid ones, are probably stronger than you. Vulcans, Romulans, and Klingons all have two legs and two arms, but they can break you in half. Hell, in Klingon society, breaking a clavicle on the wedding night is considered a blessing. A lot of species may think that you having sex with them is a proposal of marriage, too; make sure you know your alien cultures before you stick it in, because if they're part of the Federation, it might be legally binding.

Comments

[leathered]

Not a fan of space? How could you not be a fan? It's beautiful out there. So many things to see.

[mintjulep]

It's disease an' danger wrapped in darkness an' silence.

[ Though he doesn't say it with as much venom as he once had. ]

[leathered]

Well, if you only think about the bad parts. It's also innovation and beauty and really fun danger.

[mintjulep]

[ Beauty. There sure are some sights out there, that he'll admit. He just wishes he could forget some of them. ]

Up until you're tryin' to take a slug off your commanding officer's brainstem without killing him, sure. [ Up until planets explode. Up until almost your entire graduating class is destroyed by a psycho from the future. ]

[leathered]

Beginning to think you're one of those guys who think of the glass as half-full. Assuming you still use that metaphor.

[mintjulep]

We still use that metaphor, considering how often I've heard that.