poly_chromatic | Video breaks through

Harry is at a table with a few bunsen burners and some vials that make it look like a science project cooking but he's holding some ripped up pieces of paper above one of the beakers and staring a cock with fancy plumage that is looking back at him and speaking with a french accent.

"Bonjour Monsieur Wizard, where is your lady, feminine, female, girl, le cluck?"

The wizard blinks once and looks slowly around as though trying to find someone throwing their voice.

"Did you just speak in a Pepe Le Pew voice?"

"Intimacy is difficult at this range."

"Scuse me?"

"You must call her Monsieur. Pick up le telephone, speak sweet nothings, a touching gesture, no? You must break the ice, begin your courtship..."

The bird continues to talk and Dresden's face twitches a little.

And then he bursts into laughter. Because come on. It's talking like a cartoon character. In the background the bird is flapping it's wings in excitement, it's descriptions of what Harry should do becoming more personal and the device clicks off.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[All-out laughter on this end.]

Listen, your chicken is a lot more helpful than mine was!

[There's still squawking and flapping going on and the words have devolved into more risque topics]

Oh yeah? What did yours do?

It said "mais, non," and flew off.

I dunno what to make of that.

Ouch, sounds like it thought you were a lost cause.

Thanks. That's real encouraging.

You're worried about the Chicken's good opinon of you?

I don't know, I have to wonder if the chicken's right.

[Harry's squinting at the screen trying to figure out if that's sarcasm or if he's just really dragging down the funny atmosphere.]

You could try hitting on someone.

So. [Wink!] What time do you get off?

[And he even maintains his composure, as though this is a serious question. Really, truly. For a minute. ... ... ...

And then it all dissolves into laughter.]

[Ahh good joking still! Harry snorts at the innuendo and then laughs with the other man. The rooster's feathers fluff up with insult.]

I can't be tied down by a schedule man, I'm a when the mood hits sorta guy.

[Joking is what he does for a living. Sort of.]

Oh, wow, even better. Maybe I'll just come see you at work. How 'bout that?

[Because, man, carrying on with fake innuendo is the best.]

I think you'd better bring your game face, I'm not some cheap date.

Perish the thought. I never would have assumed such a scandalous thing about you.

I didn't say I wasn't scandalous. There's this security guard who's been telling all kinds of rumors.

Good rumors or bad rumors? Or maybe that depends on the rumor, now, doesn't it?

There was this time I had to get into my brother's apartment. And he called the cops. And I maybe had to pretend to be a great big flaming queen so I didn't get arrested. So I guess it depends on what kinds of presents people keep giving you and how good your sense of humor is.

On the up side, you got a good story out of it.

Yeah, and the cops got a good laugh. Always nice to bring a smile to the faces of the folks in blue. The non-sadistic kind anyway.

Non-sadistic folks in blue or non-sadistic smiles? There's a little too much lexical ambiguity in there for my taste.

[Hopefully you cannot at this particular moment see the button pinned to the pocket of his jacket that depicts a pig in a policeman's hat and which reads, in red blood-styled lettering just below the pig, "How's Your Pork?" Or maybe one should hope that it can be seen. Whatever.]

Non sadistic smiles. Most of the guys in blue are decent folk, just get a bad apple now and then. It's when you get into the bureaucracy that things get really nasty.

((Harry's lucky if he can just make out faces most of the time on his device. It's pretty staticy))

Well, ain't that the nature of bureaucracy?

[Well, then! Yeah, heavy magic in the vicinity tends to do that to electronics. And the feedback that screeches around in microphones--! Forget it!]

You get more than two people together and they'll start forming damn committees and trying to get you to fill out forms.

((His mic pretty much feeds back regularly. You have not raised ANY suspicions. Which might be raised by meeting in person anyway.))

It's true--two or three are gathered in Government's name, Paperwork will be in the midst of them.

I like it better when two or three are gathered in their own names, and a fifth will be in the midst of them.

[How well we know these problems, yes. Oh good :) Yes, nothing to notice here: just a friendly guy, that's all.]

What happened to the fourth?

Do they sell liquor in fourths?

(no subject)

harrydresden - 2013-01-02 17:20 (UTC) - Expand

unflagging - 2013-01-03 16:33 (UTC) - Expand