Video breaks through

[harrydresden]

Harry is at a table with a few bunsen burners and some vials that make it look like a science project cooking but he's holding some ripped up pieces of paper above one of the beakers and staring a cock with fancy plumage that is looking back at him and speaking with a french accent. 

"Bonjour Monsieur Wizard, where is your lady, feminine, female, girl, le cluck?"

The wizard blinks once and looks slowly around as though trying to find someone throwing their voice. 

"Did you just speak in a Pepe Le Pew voice?"

"Intimacy is difficult at this range." 

"Scuse me?"

"You must call her Monsieur.  Pick up le telephone, speak sweet nothings, a touching gesture, no? You must break the ice, begin your courtship..."

The bird continues to talk and Dresden's face twitches a little.

And then he bursts into laughter.  Because come on.  It's talking like a cartoon character.  In the background the bird is flapping it's wings in excitement, it's descriptions of what Harry should do becoming more personal and the device clicks off.

Comments

video:

[charring]

[Nope. Can't keep it together. Guess what? She's laughing, too.]

Intermittent video and voice

[harrydresden]

Oh hey, it was recording, have you seen this?

Monsieur, is this your lady? Tell her she has a beautiful smile, sweep her off her feet, caress her gently.

I mean have you seen it? Of course you have, stars and stones it's hilarious!

Intermittent video and voice

[charring]

[More laughing at the birds question before she shakes her head at him.] No, I'm sorry. I'm not his lady. I'm happily married to someone else.


[And to Harry;] There was one outside my window earlier. It was trying to get in. It spoke nothing but french, though, so other than getting in the house I have no idea what it wanted.

[deadmanbusiness]

You know, I think getting chased up a tree was better than that.

[video;]

[unflagging]

[This is way too amusing.]

Oui, oui, monsieur. Pick up le telephone.

[eiremagic]

Okay what's her name?

Permavideo

[doeswhathewants]

Nice bird.

[valentineluke]

Problem, Mr. Audubon?

[harrydresden]

Non non non, it is but a small difficulty to overcome, if you truly love her!

It's so much funnier as Pepe. Although I imagine if this keeps up all day I'll want to roast it. Not yet though, it's still funny.

[harrydresden]

Nothing is better than Warner Brothers come to life.

Ahh, your amour is jeune homme you must be firm, take control!

I think it believes I am destined to love everyone I talk to. That's awkward.

[deadmanbusiness]

I thought that it was a skunk in the Warner Brothers' cartoons.

Can it hear me? I'm guessing so?

Intermittent video and voice

[harrydresden]

Now I'm getting it from both sides.

[The bird squawks excitedly to get some help] Love will not wait, it must not wait, s'il vous plaît monsieur set your heart free, take her in your arms, donner un bisous, discover her soft skin, indulge in le sighs-

Oookay there, let's keep it PG13 in here Pepe.

[unflagging]

[All-out laughter on this end.]

Listen, your chicken is a lot more helpful than mine was!

[harrydresden]

I think it's a boy bird. I'm calling him Pepe.

It is le belle fille je fais mes devoirs à ce moment-ci. You must go to her Monsieur, make love to her, discover what makes her-

[His fingers snap up to close the beak] I said PG13 Pepe.

Intermittent video and voice

[harrydresden]

He's hilarious.

Ah, she is quite young Monsieur, you take le bull by le horns, yes?

Hey now, there's no need for those kinds of suggestions. You're getting less hilarious.

[harrydresden]

No, not particularly. It's entertainment.

[The cock is flapping excitedly next to him and pecking occasionally at his arm like's trying to get him to move]

She is striking Monsieur, compliment le cheveux, le long luxurious locks! You must go to her!

Seriously, does it get more hilarious than this?

[harrydresden]

[There's still squawking and flapping going on and the words have devolved into more risque topics]

Oh yeah? What did yours do?

[harrydresden]

Yes, but it sounded just like this guy.

[That bird is still squawking suggestions for things Dresden should do to Theo in the background, but apparently Dresden is just amused by it]

Yes, I think he likes you.

[unflagging]

It said "mais, non," and flew off.

I dunno what to make of that.

[charring]

If you need help, I'm pretty good with fire.

[eiremagic]

Not the bird, the girl he wants you to....

Well.

[deadmanbusiness]

Yeah. I guess it does.

I'm going to try something.

[Switches to horrible French. He's rusty, okay?]

I'm sorry, my love, but I must leave you for someone else. Please forgive me.

[horseish]

[Just a lot of giggles from this one.]

Why is that bird talking like that?

[justamessenger]

It's touching how invested he is in your love life. Nice to see they care.

[harrydresden]

Ouch, sounds like it thought you were a lost cause.