( audio & action 16 )

[studmuffin]

Stop, stop --. [ There's a bird sitting on the hood of Stiles' jeep. The boy who owns it is currently trying to wave the thing off with his bag full of groceries. ] Please be quiet, c'mon, just quit it.

[ The birds wings ruffle but it doesn't take off, just opens it's beak to speak in a voice that is exactly Stiles, couldn't be anyone else's. ] His ass is amazing. That should be why they tell you not to go into the woods. But he has these teeth too and usually that means being eaten and not in a fun, sexy way.

No no no no. Stop talking, stop right this instant. [ Panicking. ] I was cursed, it doesn't count, it was totally a curse.

[ Of course, the only way this could be worse is if his device was broadcasting to the whole City ]

... I'm just going to go kill myself now.

Comments

[studmuffin]

Any experimental drugs that may or may not give me amnesia?

[intheblanks]

Any anaesthetic will do that temporarily. But chemical castration would be the safer way to go.

[studmuffin]

Isn't castration a junk thing?

[intheblanks]

The chemical version is a brain thing that makes you less interested in your junk.

[studmuffin]

[ ... ]

I want to not be interested in Derek not sex in general, why would anyone want that, oh my god.

[intheblanks]

It wasn't a serious recommendation. Unless Derek's a really early developer.

It's used to make repeated sex offenders a safer part of society.

[studmuffin]

He's older than me. [ Just throwing that out there. ]

And okay, ugh.

[intheblanks]

I know. [Hence the really early development necessary. Not many preteens have designer facial hair.] Quite a bit older, right?

We did have one patient request treatment. Because of cows.

[studmuffin]

Like -- four years I don't know.

[intheblanks]

Four? Really?

[He thought... up to twice that.]

[studmuffin]

No, actually eight.

[ Shh, let's pretend Stiles knows this shit. ]

[intheblanks]

So is it a hot for teacher kind of thing?

[studmuffin]

No.

[ Ff. ] It's just - it's new. It's Derek.

[intheblanks]

Is he even- [Well no, that question might be somewhat tactless.]

Must have been a big jump from Lydia.

[studmuffin]

Not so much of a jump.

[ He crushed on Lydia, it doesn't mean he hasn't thought about swinging both ways. ]

[intheblanks]

Did people know, before the City?

[studmuffin]

Nope.

I'm the enigma of Beacon Hills.

[intheblanks]

Sounds like a big jump to me. It would have been for me at your age.

[Well.]

Still would be, but I work in a highschool playground.

[studmuffin]

You can bat for both teams and still have a favourite player.

[intheblanks]

Fair point, nice use of sports metaphor.

You wouldn't have a problem, then, if it was someone else? Another guy. Less intimidating.