( audio & action 16 )

[studmuffin]

Stop, stop --. [ There's a bird sitting on the hood of Stiles' jeep. The boy who owns it is currently trying to wave the thing off with his bag full of groceries. ] Please be quiet, c'mon, just quit it.

[ The birds wings ruffle but it doesn't take off, just opens it's beak to speak in a voice that is exactly Stiles, couldn't be anyone else's. ] His ass is amazing. That should be why they tell you not to go into the woods. But he has these teeth too and usually that means being eaten and not in a fun, sexy way.

No no no no. Stop talking, stop right this instant. [ Panicking. ] I was cursed, it doesn't count, it was totally a curse.

[ Of course, the only way this could be worse is if his device was broadcasting to the whole City ]

... I'm just going to go kill myself now.

Comments

[studmuffin]

There's nothing to talk about. [ Staring at the ceiling. ] Got it.

[lupusalpha]

Stop bringing birds into the house.

[studmuffin]

[ Shoving a pillow over his own face. ]

I'm gonna move out.

[lupusalpha]

Where?

[studmuffin]

I don't know. Somewhere I'm not going to be worried for my life while I've been cursed.

[lupusalpha]

[Derek looks over, suddenly]

You mean like when I followed you around when you were convinced you were Little Red Riding Hood? To make sure no one hurt you?

[studmuffin]

[ Something twists in Stiles' stomach. ]

You probably just didn't want me telling anyone you were the wolf.

[lupusalpha]

Or when I called you pack?

[Derek doesn't want Stiles to leave. He doesn't. Stiles is part of this family he's trying to build but he can't say that, he doesn't know how to say it. He lost Boyd and Erica and there's twisting in his gut to lose someone else.]

[studmuffin]

[ Lifting the pillow off his eyes and looking over at him. ]

Then quit acting like I'm the bane of your existence.

[lupusalpha]

That isn't how I treat you.

[studmuffin]

[ Snort. ]

Hawkeye thinks you're using me to sell drugs.

[lupusalpha]

Hawkeye is an idiot.

[studmuffin]

[ Mumbled. ]

He's actually helped me through a lot.

[lupusalpha]

Who thinks I'm pimping you for drugs.

[studmuffin]

Well, he did think you had me and Isaac as sex slaves first but c'mon, you are a little shady.

[lupusalpha]

[Derek rolls his eyes]

[studmuffin]

[ Tossing his cushion at the back of Derek's head. ]

[lupusalpha]

[He just catches it. Yep.]

[studmuffin]

[ Muttered. ]

Fuck you.

[lupusalpha]

I'm not deaf.

[studmuffin]

Unfortunately.

[lupusalpha]

You know what, take you, and your problems, and your attitude, and get out.

[studmuffin]

Fine.

[ Standing up, Stiles glares at Derek's back for a second. ] Fine, y'know what fuck you.

[ Stomp stomp stomp. ]