( audio & action 16 )

[studmuffin]

Stop, stop --. [ There's a bird sitting on the hood of Stiles' jeep. The boy who owns it is currently trying to wave the thing off with his bag full of groceries. ] Please be quiet, c'mon, just quit it.

[ The birds wings ruffle but it doesn't take off, just opens it's beak to speak in a voice that is exactly Stiles, couldn't be anyone else's. ] His ass is amazing. That should be why they tell you not to go into the woods. But he has these teeth too and usually that means being eaten and not in a fun, sexy way.

No no no no. Stop talking, stop right this instant. [ Panicking. ] I was cursed, it doesn't count, it was totally a curse.

[ Of course, the only way this could be worse is if his device was broadcasting to the whole City ]

... I'm just going to go kill myself now.

Comments

[doeswhathewants]

Were you and he animals, I would say that was reciprocating. Or dominance play. I know hell hounds do this growly snarly thing at each other before mating.

[lupusalpha]

I could throw you at it. That might solve our problems.

[studmuffin]

[ Screaming internally. ]

I don't think he's trying to dom - you know what I think this is going too far. I might have to literally throw myself under a car right now.

[studmuffin]

[ Glaring at him. ]

Well sure, why don't we resort to physical violence, that solves all of them.

[doeswhathewants]

Stiles! It was a joke. Make no rash efforts.

Embarrassing things happen to people all of the time here, it will blow over. Though your words of him eating you in the not fun way are disturbing and give credence to the cannibalism comments from earlier.

action;

[theassassin]

From what I'm understanding, they aren't the only ones... [She's looking at you, now sweetie.]

[lupusalpha]

You're the one having deep conversations with a bird about the state of my ass, Stiles.

[Because he's not stupid.]

[studmuffin]

[ Frustrated. ]

I didn't talk to the bird about it, I talked to Le - fuck.

[lupusalpha]

[Okay, Derek is hauling Stiles across the room]

To who?

[studmuffin]

Ow, ow. [ Flailing. ] Leah, jesus, get off me.

[lupusalpha]

Why are you talking about me with someone named Leah?

[He hasn't even heard the recording yet.]

[studmuffin]

He's not a cannibal.

[ Sigh. ] He's just a jerk. [ Mumbled. ] A stupid, sexy jerk.

action;

[studmuffin]

I actually hate him.

[ He can convince Scott, but maybe he can't convince everyone. ]

action;

[theassassin]

It's okay, I tend to talk nice about the backsides of those people I hate as well. [She's not easily fooled. Tsk.]

[studmuffin]

I was Little Red Riding Brat.

[ Flailing at him. ] She asked about you, god. It's not like I'm the first person in the world to comment on your body.

[doeswhathewants]

Perhaps you ought to simply tell him that rather than allow him to hear it from a bird.

[lupusalpha]

[He lets go of Stiles and huffs. He doesn't actually like it very much when people do that. Comment on his body.

But whatever. He didn't break any bones, Stiles should be grateful.]

[studmuffin]

Do not tell me you have body issues.

[ Pointing at him. Maybe all this self-mortification is just making him slightly angry. ] You are the hottest person around here and I hate your stupid face.

[lupusalpha]

[He turns, incredulity painted on his expression]

It's not about my-

No.

[studmuffin]

[ Throwing his hands up in the air. ]

Whatever.

action;

[studmuffin]

Hate sex is totally a thing.

Not that I want to have sex with him.

[studmuffin]

No.

I do have some self-preservation.

[lupusalpha]

[He looks up at the bird, who looks down at him]

And stop saying you hate me. You're a terrible liar.

[studmuffin]

[ Well look, Derek's not the only one who can growl. ]

I find you semi-attractive, you're still an asshole.

action;

[theassassin]

[Hang on a second, he actually nearly made her spit her coffee everywhere laughing.

Okay..

No...

Laughing again..

There she's okay now.]

Yes, it is.

[Oh.. Stiles honey, you tried, she can give you points there, but no, she doesn't believe that for a second.]

Sure you don't..