( audio & action 16 )

[studmuffin]

Stop, stop --. [ There's a bird sitting on the hood of Stiles' jeep. The boy who owns it is currently trying to wave the thing off with his bag full of groceries. ] Please be quiet, c'mon, just quit it.

[ The birds wings ruffle but it doesn't take off, just opens it's beak to speak in a voice that is exactly Stiles, couldn't be anyone else's. ] His ass is amazing. That should be why they tell you not to go into the woods. But he has these teeth too and usually that means being eaten and not in a fun, sexy way.

No no no no. Stop talking, stop right this instant. [ Panicking. ] I was cursed, it doesn't count, it was totally a curse.

[ Of course, the only way this could be worse is if his device was broadcasting to the whole City ]

... I'm just going to go kill myself now.

Comments

[studmuffin]

[ He lets all that sink in for a moment, then rather eloquently bangs his head off the steering wheel. ]

Maybe I have Stockholm Syndrome. That could be it.

[ Because he doesn't want to want Derek - he doesn't need that in his life and Derek's an insane werewolf with issues and Stiles just wants to go home. ] Could you like put a lazer in my brain?

[ Video ]

[bettercallit]

It's better than thinking she drank it and expecting a tweaking assassin wandering into my room tonight. [ Because he noticed and wondered. ]

Let yourself in.

[brobeforehos]

Mmhmm.

audio;

[studmuffin]

He hasn't bitten me! It's fine. He probably doesn't want to. His creepy uncle tried but we don't talk about that.

[ Stop talking, Stiles. ]

[studmuffin]

[ He does ten minutes later, trying to be weirdly quiet about it because he appreciates the hospitality but he doesn't want to disturb anyone. ]

[studmuffin]

Let's just pretend we didn't talk about it, yeah?

[studmuffin]

Are you like - an angel? Because if you exist my life is going to become super weird.

[brobeforehos]

Mmhmm.

[justamessenger]

I am very sorry to make your life weird, then.

[studmuffin]

Are you going to stop mmhmm-ing me?

[studmuffin]

Woah.

No seriously. Woah.

[justamessenger]

Do you need a minute?

[bettercallit]

[ Clint's sprawled out on one side of the sofa, the television on but the volume low, and he's nursing a bottle of beer, a cold can of soda on the table ready and waiting for him. ]

You've been spending too much time with Tasha.

[studmuffin]

She's cool.

[ He comes over, picks Fury up when he runs to investigate Stiles and lets him nudge at his jaw until Stiles takes one of the arm chairs. ] I mean, kind of intense, but cool.

[brobeforehos]

Mmhmyes?

[intheblanks]

To burn out inappropriate crushes? Sorry, I'd have been first in line at the trial.

[bettercallit]

In that terrifying kinda way, sure.

[ He nudges the can toward him, shifts to look at him from a better angle. ] Good thing about this one, she can't tell stories, 'cause we don't share the same history.

[studmuffin]

Any experimental drugs that may or may not give me amnesia?

[studmuffin]

That must suck though, right?

[ Popping the tab. ] Knowing and not knowing.

[studmuffin]

Ashton, don't play me this way.

[intheblanks]

Any anaesthetic will do that temporarily. But chemical castration would be the safer way to go.

[studmuffin]

Isn't castration a junk thing?

[intheblanks]

The chemical version is a brain thing that makes you less interested in your junk.

[studmuffin]

[ ... ]

I want to not be interested in Derek not sex in general, why would anyone want that, oh my god.

[bettercallit]

Yeah. It's her, but it's not. Still, experienced worse head-fucks.

[ Eyeing him. ] Good try at changing the subject.