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legend of korra: korra

十四

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[It's an undisputed fact of the City that not every curse is a tragedy. Sometimes they are. Sometimes they're just irritating. Sometimes they can even be fun. It's all a matter of perspective, really.

If you happen to be strolling through the park this afternoon, you'll find a group of citizens gathered around an old school boombox and a badass set of speakers. They've decided being annoyed by spontaneous dancing is too much effort, so instead, they're using it as an excuse to skip out on work and share the music they love with their fellow citizens.

Hey, man, any excuse to have fun! You're all invited! Bring your records, your cds, your mp3 players, your guitars, your voices. If you have music to share, there's a group of people here ready to dance. And if you're just in the mood to dance yourself, well, you're in good company.]

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[Korra had gone to the park to train, but the sounds of music drew her to the crowd. Before she knew it, she was dancing along with the crowd.]

[Cursed? Not cursed? Who cares? The music may be weird and she may not really know how to dance, but that's not stopping her from having a good time.]

[OOC: MINGLE POST! Feel free to link to put your own songs in the comments. Dance, sing, mingle, threadjack, have a ball! Just note in the subject whether you're closing the thread to a specific character or if you're open to anything.]

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[ Hei knows it's easier to just Be than to pick every last thought apart. If circumstances were different...well, they aren't. He puts them through one final turn, his shoes narrowly avoiding hers, fingers lacing. It occurs to him that this is better than modern dancing without touch. Isn't that odd? As the years pass, lyrics get sexier. But the actual contact of dance fades. ]

[ When the song stops, he's a little sweaty, feeling light and buzzed. It doesn't last long (when does it ever?) His face closes up like a box snapping shut. There's such a disconnect between him and Korra. There's always been one, on so many levels, although this feels subtler than most. ]

[ Trick of pheromones. ]

Practice.

[ The way he says it sucks all meaning from the word. Practice in combat? Practice is killing? It can be anything. His life is a schematic designed to desensitize him against moments like these, to evade remarks like these. That it's not working is a black fly in his chardonnay. Not ironic. Just annoying. ]

[This is familiar too, and not in what could be considered a good way under any circumstances. At least now she's neither naked nor dead, but it's still a bucket of ice water, a shock to her system. She doesn't understand how one moment he can be a confusing, maddening human being, and the next he can be a lifeless mask. Like an engine that's been turned off.

This time she knows it's not her fault, that she didn't flip the switch. But honestly, it scares her. Not of him, but for him. People aren't machines; you shouldn't be able to turn them on and off at will.

Her hair still down, sticking to the skin of her face and neck, she reaches out to take his hand.]

Are you okay?

[ Are you okay? There's a strange urge to laugh. He's as okay as anyone in his place would be -- given that large parts of him are off floating on icy straits. But he's never worn his experiences as a badge or bruise. They're just there. It's cute how she's concerned. (By cute, I mean sickening). What? Does she want a real answer? He remembers that idiotic line from 'Crime Of Passion' -- You try so hard to make them want you, but it's not even you they want. Idiots. That's the whole point. If his marks ever saw the real him, not the clumsy caricature he plays for their benefit, they'd run for the hills. ]

[ It's why he distances himself, because of the filth that surrounds him, that oozes every time he speaks, moves, thinks, dreams. Korra's so young. She's had her share of bumps and bruises, but nothing scarring has happened to her yet. She's different from him because she doesn't even know that she doesn't know. Just a girl. Clueless, lucky girl. ]

I'm fine. [ He draws his hand away. Lightly -- not a dismissal. They're in public, after all. ] Have fun dancing. [ He turns to go. Hopefully she'll find a nice teenage boy here to play with. One who'll give her what she needs. ]

No you're not.

[She's never been good at mincing her words; most of the time it doesn't even occur to her to try. She sees a problem and she charges headfirst at it.

She remembers that "I'm fine." She's used it before, when she refused to admit how much Amon terrified her, and it just made things worse. It made her join Tarrlok's task force, even though she didn't want to and didn't think it was a good idea. It made her go to face Amon alone. He could have taken her bending that night -- he could have killed her that night. It was the first time in her life that she had ever felt completely and utterly powerless.]

Tenzin once told me that it's important to talk about our problems. If we don't, they can throw us out of balance.

[Her words are halting and awkward. She feels stupid, just parroting Tenzin's words, and out of her depth, trying to face a problem she doesn't understand and she can't punch her way out of. But the Avatar's job is maintaining balance, and Li? Is seriously out of whack.]

I'll listen. If you wanna talk about it.

[You'll never be clean of the filth if you hold it inside.]

[ The expression on Hei's face -- or the complete lack of one, is chilling. For a second, there seems to be no one there. Mind unmoored, body vacant. Then something rolls back in, the blankness coalescing into venom and ice. Give me a fucking break. He really should've let himself go. She wouldn't look twice at him if he were flabby and thirty. Just what the hell is wrong with her? Does she think if she gives him The Look, says platitudinous 12-step bullshit, it'll help him? Maybe she thinks she's doing him a favor, thinking he'll find it therapeutic. ]

[ Or maybe she thinks she can soothe him with her little-girl-goodness, pure as sunshine. Scare the bogeyman right out of him. Except he'll ruin her first with the moral detritus that spills out his pores. Even Hei's aura is filthy. ]

There's nothing to say. [ The words are barbed with contempt. ] Except you shouldn't ask questions you won't like the answers to. And you shouldn't interfere with things that have nothing to do with you. [ He wants to remind her. You make me remember people and things I couldn't keep. But don't think that what you say or do matters to me. Hei's life is steeped in lies and paranoia. It's impossible for him to open up to someone. To even want to. ]

[The contempt in his knifes her in the gut. She'd known it was coming -- he had telegraphed it like someone who's never thrown a punch before -- but unlike a fist, she doesn't know how to protect herself from it. She'd gone out on a limb with no defenses, and this is her reward.]

Nothing to do with me? This has everything to do with me! [Anger wraps around her like a bandage on a wound.]

Something keeps happening between us. And one moment you're a human being, and then something happens and you're nothing. You're gone. The lights are on but nobody's freaking home.

I don't care whether or not I'll like your stupid answers. That's not okay!

[ Everything to do with her? Ah, to be seventeen. Self-absorbed and naive. Except, in her naivety, she's too astute. She reminds him of Pai, yes. She makes his skin itch like Amber. But even with those associations, she's interested him just by being herself. Fresh and wholesome in a way he never was, even as a child. That she's easy on the eyes doesn't make it any less of a cradle-robbery. That's why she's being so persistent, isn't she? Not yet desensitized by disappointments and mindgames, she sees him as a teddy bear to re-stitch. A reclamation project. So it really is true. Some people just want their own misery. ]

[ She doesn't realize he's what reality has to offer -- the jagged end result, the nothingness that is left when your life is snatched away from you before it's even begun. ]

[ He tilts his head at her, cold-eyed, ] Do you get off on rubbing someone else's dirt in your face? Or do you get off on pain? [ He can dish out both. ] If you knew anything [ even the tip of the iceberg ] I guarantee you'd peel your own lips off. [ For knowing she'd let him kiss her. Even breathe in the same air. ]

Try me.

[He's both right and wrong -- or neither. She's young, with a teenager's proclivity for passion and drama. She's practical; if the City is going to keep throwing them together, she's not going to just sit back and let him treat her as he pleases.

And she is the Avatar. Human in form, but not in being. Human beings exist just to exist. Their lives have only the meaning that they themselves choose. She exists for a purpose. She is the protector of her world, the bridge between nature and spirit.

It is easy for immortal spirits to detach from the world, and to care little for the suffering of others as they feel nothing themselves. She doesn't have the luxury of avoiding pain. It is the unspoken duty of every Avatar to experience every feeling, whether dark or light. They anchor her to the world she must protect.

Not that Korra could put any of this into words. Not that she even realizes most of it. She never could sit still long enough to meditate, or to put her mind to the study of the spiritual side of being the Avatar. All she knows is it's the Avatar's job to fix things. When something is wrong, she must right it.]

[ Hei smiles, a tight cruel little smile as if she's said an utterly foolish thing. His gaze is like a dart sinking into a hummingbird. He wants to watch her wiggle, even if it's only in her eyes. She's feisty but her weakness is in her inability to use caution. She should walk away. Some boxes are better left unopened. She could be dead by now. Her continued breathing is but a favor. ]

This isn't Doll Hospital, Korra. Or whatever else suits your little Messiah Complex. [ Here he twists the knife. Making it hurt. He remembers what Bolin told him about the Avatar. He understands Korra's insecurities about it -- ones she'd confessed to him herself. ] You're not the Avatar here. Or anything else. Especially not someone I owe answers to.

[Congratulations.]

[ Not The Look again. ]

[ He pauses, as if to say something. But the message has sunk in. He takes it as a chance to leave. ]

[ Never mind that he feels just that much grimier. ]

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