poly_chromatic

[It's not been an easy few days for Korra. Having sex with Li would have been enough to deal with, but then Mako had to go and make a trade to get her life back. It was like he knew she was trying to get over him and didn't want her to.

People told her she should be grateful and thank him, and she knew he had made no easy sacrifice for her. That's why she's so angry with him, because it made her love him more when she just wants to move on. She doesn't want to spend the rest of her time here being cut up inside by Mako and Asami's happiness.

She's spent a lot of time hiding from her friends and crying. She wishes her mother were here, or Master Katara. The older waterbender had always understood Korra's troubles, and never judged her for her mistakes.

But neither Katara nor her mother are here, and Korra has had to work through everything alone. Today, she's finished crying. It's time to start dealing with things.]

[filtered from Li and her friends (but Li and Chekov could likely hack)]

[The goal had been to make a discrete voice post, filtered from her friends and him, calmly asking for advice.

That had been the goal. It's not the reality. The reality is, remembering how to do the filters had sufficiently flustered the already upset Korra that she accidentally turned on the video. You're treated to the sight of a young woman who is alive but clearly has not been sleeping.]

Uh, just out of curiosity... What happens if you do something that could get you sick while you're City dead, and then somebody makes a deal and you're not dead anymore? Can you still get sick from the thing before?

[It's been a few days since it happened, but this idea is only now occurring to her. She clearly wishes the Earth would eat her alive. Also no idea how sex works. She is in desperate need of an adult. Or a hug.]

[action]
[She's struggled with this for days now, but she can't put it off anymore. She and Mako need to have a talk.]

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Because it's none of your business!!!

[Okay, that came out way harsh. She stops, and the grip on his arm becomes an apologetic pat.]

I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. It's just... [She's spent the past few days crying. She's not going to cry again.] I made a bad mistake. A really, really bad mistake. And I'm scared.

[She focuses on her breathing, the steady rhythm in and out, to keep the tears at bay.]

[Actually, he's not sure he didn't deserve that. Anyway.

When Korra admits that she's scared, Chekov can only think of one response, and that response is a hug.]

[Korea lets him pull her in. It's reassuring to be held by someone whose relationship to her is so simple. He's just her friend.

She buries her head in the crook of his neck and just breathes.]

I'm sorry.

[He's a little surprised that Korra allows the hug to continue, but everyone needs support sometimes... even if they're reluctant to look for and accept it.]

No reason to be. I won't ask again.

[She wants to tell him. She doesn't want to carry this alone. But how can she explain her stupid, irrational decision to have sex with the man who just last week had broken into her apartment, tied her up, and threatened to hurt her friends if she broke his cover? She can't blame it on the curse. She can't even blame it on the alcohol, though that had definitely played its part. That night had been her choice, and she doesn't like what that says about her. She can't imagine how anyone could.

Would Chekov even be safe if she told him?

Better to play it safe. She pulls away, and resumes walking towards the clinic.]

[Not that he can tell for certain just by following her, but Chekov suspects that Korra isn't feeling any better. But of course not; hugs don't accomplish anything, not really. He can't fix anything without further information, and further information can't be gathered without wheedling, and he promised he wouldn't ask...

Normally, with so few options left to him, Chekov would fall back on humor--tell a lame joke, maybe, or say something ridiculously exaggerated about Russia--but this is not the time for that.

People are unnecessarily complicated sometimes.

For want of anything else to do, Chekov trails Korra silently. He can at least make sure that she gets to the clinic.]

[Her steps get slower the farther they walk. It feels strange, having him at her back, and kind of lonely. She shyly reaches out to take his hand, wanting some kind of anchor.]

[There's no need to be shy; Chekov is tactile by nature and upbringing, but has learned to be more reserved (and to walk respectfully behind superiors). He readily takes her hand and falls into step with her.]

How are you feeling?

Miserable. [She can't tell him much, but she can at least be honest about how she's feeling. That's what she learned from Tenzin.]

Is there anything that would make you less miserable?

Rewind time. Erase the past two weeks.

I can do that--theoretically, I mean. If I had the means to create a Einstein-Rosen bridge or locate a convenient black hole I could maybe manipulate spacetime in a way that places you back where you would like to be, but there are too many potential paradoxes...

[He trails off and looks at Korra.]

Ay, sorry. It would be more practical for me to suggest that you make the best of what has happened.

[Korra's eyes spin. That's a lot of big words.]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Oops.]

I know it isn't good advice.

No, it's good advice. It's just hard.

It is, yes.

[Between an earlier conversation with Li and Korra's situation, memories of certain events--one in particular--keep surfacing in Chekov's mind. Whatever has happened to Korra is clearly not the same as allowing Spock's mother to die, but the resulting regret is similar.

He squeezes her hand.]

I think that you would be less miserable if you discussed this thing with someone--not me, necessarily, but not talking about it... that's like having an injury, refusing to treat it, and allowing it to become infected

[It's hypocritical to say such a thing when he hasn't followed that advice himself, but he does believe that it's a sound idea.]

I know. [She can feel it festering inside of her already.

Up ahead, she can see the hospital, and her steps falter.]

[He's pretty sure Korra isn't going to talk to anyone about whatever this is.

She also doesn't seem inclined to go into the clinic. Chekov tugs on her hand.]

Korra?

Coming.

[Still reluctant, she goes inside.]

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