Video

[trenchknives]

[He's sitting at a table, pen in hand, trying to look professional. The pinstriped suit helps, as does the fedora set at a jaunty angle.]

Now. I know we had some marriages yesterday, and some prenups. And for those of you who actually went through with the marriage and might be regrettin' it, well...

[A big smile.]

I'm here to offer my services as a divorce lawyer. I promise you, I charge fair rates. And I'm damn good at it. Consider it. Nobody should have to be married to anybody they don't wanna be.

[This is a lie. He's never practiced law in his life. But hey, he can show you a degree if you really want to see it... a JD in Bullshit from the University of Totally Lying.]

Comments

[waitedforyears]

Well, your secret's safe with me.

[trenchknives]

Good. And in exchange, if you're ever in need of a divorce or somethin', I'll help you find a real lawyer.

[waitedforyears]

Not really planning on getting a divorce anytime soon, but I'll keep it in mind.

[trenchknives]

Good. Don't get a divorce. It sounds messy.

[A pause.]

Guess I shouldn't say that if I'm a 'divorce lawyer'.

[waitedforyears]

Yeah, I don't particularly want one.