Video

[trenchknives]

[He's sitting at a table, pen in hand, trying to look professional. The pinstriped suit helps, as does the fedora set at a jaunty angle.]

Now. I know we had some marriages yesterday, and some prenups. And for those of you who actually went through with the marriage and might be regrettin' it, well...

[A big smile.]

I'm here to offer my services as a divorce lawyer. I promise you, I charge fair rates. And I'm damn good at it. Consider it. Nobody should have to be married to anybody they don't wanna be.

[This is a lie. He's never practiced law in his life. But hey, he can show you a degree if you really want to see it... a JD in Bullshit from the University of Totally Lying.]

Comments

[trenchknives]

Can't blame me for tryin' to do what I do best.

[intheblanks]

[He might have some divorce papers waiting to be signed on his kitchen table back in Jersey - all this hasn't left him feeling agreeable.]

Profit from misfortune?

[trenchknives]

Help people get outta bad situations.

[And that part he considers true, even though he's a fake divorce lawyer. Which might be obvious, from the way he talks about it.]

[intheblanks]

I see.

You'll be busy. Bad situations are this city's bread and butter.

[trenchknives]

I'll do what I can. My, uh...

[He's trying to remember a word. Shit.]

Litigation skills should help.

[intheblanks]

I'll look forward to seeing the suit filed against the 'deities' office.

[trenchknives]

Oh, I don't sue people. I just... divorce them.

[intheblanks]

All the more reason to expand your horizons.

[trenchknives]

I dunno if that'd be profitable.