002 ✖ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[Now, would Nathan be left out on a curse like today? Of course not. He doesn't seem as bothered by his t-shirt as some citizens, not even bothering to zip up his hoodie to try and hide the message.

I SHAT MYSELF IN MY COFFIN AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT

He stretches out the material so it can be read clearly, then lets it go.]

Okay, so how many of you can spend days in a coffin without either taking a shit or having your bowels explode everywhere? I bet even the deities couldn't hold it that long.

Comments

Video

[trenchknives]

So... why the fuck were you in a coffin in the first place?

Video

[designedtoparty]

Because my friends are a bunch of wankers. It's not like I'd be in there by choice.

Re: Video

[trenchknives]

They made you go in a coffin? Your friends are fucked.

Video

[designedtoparty]

Well, I may have been a little bit dead at the time, but if they'd just held on to my body for a couple of days it would never have happened.

[worldofourown]

Was it a nice coffin?

[designedtoparty]

If you like cramped, underground places that smell like one of the cleaner bus station toilets, sure.

[worldofourown]

What were you doing in one? Had a fit of sudden death?

[designedtoparty]

Why so keen on sudden death? I always thought you'd be more the type to get off on the slow, painful sort of deaths.

[infernoandhearth]

Ah: the part no one talks about. How long were you down there?

[designedtoparty]

How would I know? My iPod only lasted a few hours.

[infernoandhearth]

Long enough to die again?

[designedtoparty]

Not that I know of. Guess there was a lot of oxygen in that coffin.

[doeswhathewants]

Uh. Ew.

[designedtoparty]

It's not like I could help it. I wasn't even alive when it happened.

[doeswhathewants]

Are you a vampire? Perhaps a zombie? Do you thirst for the innards of young children?

Still. Pooping yourself is gross.

[designedtoparty]

None of the above.

And it happens to all of us. Especially under the influence of alcohol.

[errandry]

Kinda hard to declare when one coffin's supposed to hold you forever. How'd you get buried, anyway?

[designedtoparty]

Apparently no one thought to check my pulse. Free health care really isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

[errandry]

I'd definitely find a better doctor, yeah.

[dignity_misery]

That's a flattering impression to make.

[designedtoparty]

Coffins aren't usually designed for making impressions.

[dignity_misery]

If that were true, they wouldn't bother with them.

[studmuffin]

Dude.

[designedtoparty]

What? It's not like I chose it.

[studmuffin]

Your life must be super hard.