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kick ass - mindy macready

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[Well, Mindy sure looks annoyed. She's glaring at the camera as she speaks, arms crossed over her chest and she's wearing a ball gown. Yep. Cursed.]

My dance partner sucks. I want a new one. How hard is it to take into consideration I'm barely fifty inches tall and he's a fucking giant? He keeps stepping on my feet and bitching about me being in his way.

[This is actually bullshit. Andrew Ryan is an excellent dancer. She's just being a brat. She's That Kid at the beauty pageants who everyone ends up hating because they're a snot.]

I've seen rocks with better dance skills.

[And she turns the feed off, but not before a trace of a smirk is caught on video.]

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Clever, really clever. Good way to avoid any potential perception that you might be the problem.

[He has his arms crossed over his chest, too, tuxedo on, not a hair out of place, staring at her with a combination of frustration and confusion.]

What am I supposed to do with you? You're tiny and irritating.

Figure something out. You're smart. Right? I'm warning you, though. If you try that lift from Dirty Dancing, I will hit you.

I'm not familiar with Dirty Dancing.

[A sigh.]

Look, you're perfectly capable of learning these steps, are you not? You seem intelligent, despite the fact that you're awfully small.

[She's small because she's a child, Andrew. Shocking revelation right there!]

Can you manage some swing dance steps? I imagine that will prove easier than attempting to reconcile our height difference in some sort of ridiculous ballroom dance.

Watch it sometime. You'll know what I'm talking about.

[A child who can handle her own, quite easily.]

Dude. I can learn anything you teach me.

[This...comes with a bit of overconfidence. This is dancing and she is Unsure.]

That remains to be seen.

[He starts whistling the refrain from Sing Sing Sing.]

Now, I imagine you can work with something like that. Simple, really. Even a child could do it.

[A slight smirk.]

You'll need to be quick on your feet. My part will go a little like this...

[He demonstrates his moves (from about 0:16 to 0:30 in the video), showing that he's actually a pretty decent dancer, even if it looks a bit awkward without a partner.]

Now, before I make a fool of myself demonstrating your moves, let's see if you can just copy what I did.

Do you have to bitch about everything? [But she mimics his move well enough. Her own moves are not as refined. They come off as slightly more aggressive than necessary but she's giving it her all.]

This dress sucks.

Yes, I do have to bitch about everything. My entire immune system is powered by bitching, and if I cease to complain about something, I could suffer serious health repercussions.

[He's just staring at her blandly as he says all of this. He kind of wishes it were true.]

Now, unless you have a similar problem, stop complaining about your dress, and start learning your steps. Watch this.

[He imitates the girl part of the routine, obviously not enjoying it nearly as much.]

Now do that.

[Okay. She can't help it. Now she smiles a bit. He can hold his own in a conversation. That's kinda neat. She follows his directions with some trouble but corrects it soon enough.]

How's that?

Not bad. You can put more spirit into it, though. Don't you want to win? Admittedly, this is a ridiculous curse, but at least we'd get something tangible out of it. I want to see more bounce in your step. More energy. I'm sure you have it in you.

[A pause.]

Now, let's try those things together.

[He holds out his hand to her, waiting for her to take it so they can rehearse their parts at the same time.]

Why are you dancing with him? He's old, that is a bit creepy. [And Serrure is a bit jealous.]

[Serrure, are you pouting? ~~They'll have to go dancing when they're older or something.~~ Mindy can't handle...I MEAN...is immune to the pouting.]

It's just how the draw went. It wasn't our decision.

He had best watch the placement of his hands.

Wow. Seriously?

I am only looking after your well being and honor.

I can handle my own. [Which, confusingly enough, is Mindy-speak for 'your concern is kind of cute'.]

Normally, but this is a curse. Shenanigans might occur to your curse addled brain.

You're sure it's not your fault at all?

I can't be blamed for someone else's idiocy.

You're the one who thinks rocks can dance, though.

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