2 ♞ text

[sickbeat]

hahaha
sucks to be you guys

[ooc | Tags will be slow because I SHOULD be studying right now whoops.]

Comments

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[errandry]

you're just using me as an excuse to break out the ice cream. I SEE HOW IT IS.

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[sickbeat]

you caught me
practically red handed
spoon full of succulent dairy confections and sugary fats
halfway to my awaiting lips and ravenous stomach

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[errandry]

enjoy it all you want, man. just don't blame it on me!

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[sickbeat]

are you kidding the blames all on you bro
this burgeoning fatass im about to unleash is due to your insensitive comments
and thus begins this stupid snowballing self fulfilling prophecy

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[errandry]

does that mean you want an intervention?

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[sickbeat]

nope the damage is done
dave fatass strider has been born

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[errandry]

look on the bright side, maybe now you can develop a katamari attack.

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[sickbeat]

youll be the first debris i pick up then
stuck to the fleshy curve of my oversized behind
cellulite rippling gently across your cheeks as i roll the fuck around and become a dave of preposterous proportions

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[errandry]

now you're just getting way too morbid. ice cream doesn't hit you that fast!

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[sickbeat]

thats assuming i wont be stuck in this depressed rut for a while

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[errandry]

and what? you're still gonna come out of your place, right?

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[sickbeat]

how else am i supposed to add to the wiggling mass of my fat folds without going out and single handedly wiping out restaurants in a ten mile radius?

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[errandry]

so you'll find something else to live for. there's more to life than ice cream!

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[sickbeat]

is this when i should be suddenly convinced by your clear experience in the art of persuasion

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[errandry]

that and you're not gonna fit through doorways if you go too far. there's no coming back from that!

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[sickbeat]

as long as you still accept me regardless of my pants size

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[errandry]

don't worry about it. there is no judgment here!

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[sickbeat]

getting kinda teary eyed over here from all this acceptance youre unloading on me
feels like fucking christmas shit
we gonna hold hands and sing now?

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[errandry]

nah, that ice cream schedule you had sounded pretty harsh. didn't sound like there'd be any room for that!

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[sickbeat]

you can hold onto my belly flab

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[errandry]

DOUBLE PASS.

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[sickbeat]

jiggle jiggle
dont tell me that doesnt get you going
jiggle jiggle

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[errandry]

that says way more about your tastes than I EVER WANTED TO KNOW.

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[sickbeat]

nothing gets past you kazu
you are the mastermind
it is you

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[errandry]

real honor to hear that from the guy with a sixty-pound plan!