005: Audio (Black Bars Curse)

[itsjustafruit]

What are you gawking at? Never seen a naked person before?

Look, can you car--

[Someone, presumably whomever Crowley's speaking to, makes an unintelligible comment and starts to laugh until the laugh is cut off, turning to a strangled scream that recedes as though the screamer is running very far away, very fast.]

Inconvenient.

[Crowley is naked, and per canon, angels (which Crowley started out as, tyvm) are "sexless unless they really want to make an effort." He's not making the effort, and he has acquired the turntable he was so... ahem... excited by, so he's unwilling to turn into a snake and leave it behind. Naked, Ken doll!Crowley at your service for action, voice, or video that the City will happily turn on at inconvenient moments.]

Comments

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[itsjustafruit]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with me from any perspective. It's just a curse day and I'll be back to my fashionable self tomorrow.

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[mortemscintilla]

Well. At least you're handling it well.

[ You must come from a strange world, Mister. ]

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[itsjustafruit]

Some of us remember what it was like before fig leafs were all the rage. What's a little nudity?

[It's all a matter of perspective, buddy.]

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[mortemscintilla]

Fig leafs?

[ BlinkBlink. ]

How old are you?

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[itsjustafruit]

We didn't really keep track of time before the whole "let there be light" thing.

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[mortemscintilla]

...So you're an angel?

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[itsjustafruit]

If you ask to see my wings we're having words.

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[mortemscintilla]

A wingless angel?

[ Derrrrrrrp. ]

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[itsjustafruit]

You weren't tops in your class were you? I'm not wingless, I just don't whip them out. It's unseemly.

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[mortemscintilla]

Sorry! I'm a little slow on the uptake.

[ ...at least that's the vibe he prefers to give off... ]

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[mortemscintilla]

[ Whuuuuuuu - ? ]

...Now you make it sound like the wings are genitals.

[ That can't be right. ]

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[itsjustafruit]

Wings are wings, I just don't go showing them off for the punters.

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[mortemscintilla]

[ whiiiiiiiispering ]

...Are they deformed or something?

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[itsjustafruit]

What?

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[mortemscintilla]

[ fghjkl!!! ]

Just - you seem shy about showing them. So I assumed -

[ Flaily flail ]

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[itsjustafruit]

If this is some trick to get me to whip out my wings to prove to you that they're pristine and white and immaculately groomed, [it's almost working] it's not going to work.

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[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei is a sneaky bastard like that. ]

...So they are deformed.

[ i am disappoint ]

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[itsjustafruit]

[Hei is going to get a screen full of horror if he doesn't watch it.]

Kid, I've been harrying, tempting, tormenting, and damning humans for longer than you can wrap your brain around, so no, you don't get to see my wings.

[But yes, you get to know he's an angel only in the fallen sense.]

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[mortemscintilla]

[ What if he wants a screen full of horror? It helps to know everything about the supernatural creatures here. ]

They didn't get to see your wings either?

[ Outwardly Obfuscating Stupidity. Inwardly filing the info away. ]

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[itsjustafruit]

[It can be arranged, but Crowley already used the maggots tonight, so it would be something a little more Japanese (there was anime in 1990, and tentacles in that anime, oh yes.)]

N-- well, there was that one priest, but it was a special occasion. I needed a building permit.

[It's not like he's giving away anything he's overly worried about. Not like his extreme holy water allergy or anything.]

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[mortemscintilla]

[ Nooooes! Not tentacles! He's not into that type of anime. ]

Building permit for what?

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[itsjustafruit]

That's an old, boring story.

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[mortemscintilla]

Can't be that boring if you still remember it.

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[itsjustafruit]

No, I just pulled it out to tantalize you.

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[mortemscintilla]

You're funny.

[ But seemingly amoral and potentially useful. ]

What's your name, if you don't mind my asking?