[video] one and one is two

[bedsidemanners]

[Raphael has a pointer in hand and is currently jabbing it towards hand-drawn but accurate, labeled diagrams of male and female reproductive systems. First at one, then at the other, as if he's instructing a small child.]

Depending on who you ask, this is either the most natural thing in the world or a perversion of the highest order. Regardless, it has its inconveniences.

[Without half the amusement this might seem to warrant, he sets down the pointer and puts up a picture of a baby, covering up the diagrams.]

So I suggest using protection.

[A box of condoms and a pack of birth control pills zoom from off-camera into his hand. He holds them both up for inspection.]

[... And then with even less amusement, he puts up a picture of a red-eyed, one-winged angel on top of the first.]

Please.

[No amusement left at all, as he shakes his head slowly, pushing back a few strands of hair before putting up a picture of a demon. He looks at it for a second before turning to the camera again, edge of his mouth starting to tilt into as near a grin as he can manage--]

-- But once you've ensured that everything's safe, enjoy yourselves. Experiment. If you ever need any tips, don't hesitate to let me know.

(OOC: ... ahaha. He'll explain if asked, but in Angel Sanctuary, the product of an angel/angel union is an inbred i-child, which tends to have red eyes and one or no wings. The product of an angel/human union, allegedly, is an Evil.)

Comments

[bedsidemanners]

All He'd have to do would be awaken long enough to take a look at the slums.

[shall_yield_us]

You might recall that's my purpose.

[bedsidemanners]

You've done so much there, haven't you?

[shall_yield_us]

Oh, what do you know?

[bedsidemanners]

Your rise to power hasn't done them any good at all.

[shall_yield_us]

You mean for me to undo all of Sevotharte's ill in a matter of days - will that be all, my lord?

[bedsidemanners]

I don't see why not. You enjoy telling everyone else how they've failed but you've hardly got anything more to show than they do.

[shall_yield_us]

I rid you of Sevotharte, assumed power in days, now you want reforms? Revolutions? Salvation everywhere? With what army, you fool? With what men? Did you rise for me, when I returned? Did the Council?

You had years, Raphael, years and years and years and followers and you did nothing. Don't cry at my feet for deeds I've not done with assassins at my gate every hour!

[bedsidemanners]

I had people who worked under me. I never had followers. Don't pin what's happened to Heaven on me.

[shall_yield_us]

Of course not. How could I possibly expect performance from individuals with time and power?

[bedsidemanners]

You sound like Jibril.

[shall_yield_us]

You sound like a child.

[bedsidemanners]

I hope you're finished.

[shall_yield_us]

I hope you're regretting every last second of those wasted millennia.

[bedsidemanners]

[with a very strained, pointless attempt at a nonchalant laugh, the feed is shut off]

[bringing the score to raphael: -69 and rosiel: 3214]