[Video]

[buysthegoodshit]

 [Have a guy in a bathrobe shuffling in front of the camera, folks.  He doesn't seem to notice it right away, although with the hand running through his hair and the general jitteryness he seems to be embodying, it's not all that surprising he doesn't see it.  He reaches into a pocket, then, finding nothing, he glances around and -- AHA.  He sees you now.

There's a Jimmie staring at you all now.  He examines the device for a minute or so, then addresses it directly.]

Hello?  I see the light on, I know you're on.  What is this, a prototype or something?  I'm pretty fucking sure I got rid of my phone, so I know this isn't it, and whatever asshole put it in my pocket to begin with either deserves a medal or a foot up their ass.  I'm still trying to figure out which.

Listen, I've got no fucking clue who's on the other end, and I really don't give a shit, but if you see a dark haired broad walking around in a nurse's uniform give me a holler, okay?

And what's with all the graffiti?  Don't you guys have a neighborhood watch or a cleanup brigade for this or something?  Talk about hometown pride.  Fucking Christ.

[Muttered]

This is bullshit.  I swear, Julie, if this has anything to do with New Years'...

Comments

[blonderazorshiv]

[ The fuck...? ]

Brown?

[buysthegoodshit]

...Purple...?

[Right back at you, suit man.]

[blonderazorshiv]

No, Blonde.

[ Pink wanted to be Purple. ]

[buysthegoodshit]

You say that like it's s'posed to mean something.

[signatures]

Why do I have to grant information for a man who doesn't give two shits about me?

[buysthegoodshit]

You don't. Consider it a polite request. Listen, man, I don't have any clue where I am so just give me a break, okay? It's been a rough day.

[signatures]

Saying it's been a rough day for you is like suggesting it hasn't been for anyone else.

But this is the City.

[buysthegoodshit]

You don't know rough 'til you've been forced to store a dead guy in your garage. And that's the least of my problems.

[lol Jimmie your problems. You have no idea how tiny they are.]

...Which city? We talking LA or New York or what? 'Cause I will tell you right now this don't look a damn thing like LA.

[pinkeffinprofessional]

[Da fuq.]

This is just what I fucking needed to start my fucking day.

[buysthegoodshit]

'Scuse me? I'm the one having a shitty day, so I really don't need your bullshit, okay?

[pinkeffinprofessional]

Are you really using your first post on this thing to talk about nurses?

[Actually why is Pink surprised?]

[buysthegoodshit]

Not nurses, a nurse. One. Her name's Bonnie, and she's my wife, so I think it's understandable, and why do you even care.

You seen her or not?

[orangetoughguy]

[Fuq is dis.]

No shit.

[buysthegoodshit]

Hmm?

[orangetoughguy]

You have a girlfriend?

[buysthegoodshit]

Wife, actually.

Why does everybody think that's so weird? It's a normal thing.

[...Not for hitmen so much but shhh.]

video:

[charring]

[Here. Have a redhead who will not find your appearance confusing/alarming/wtf-worthy.]

In all likelyhood, the person you're looking for isn't here.

video:

[buysthegoodshit]

[You automatically get many points in his cool book, ginger.]

Aww, shit.

[Yep, you may have a miserable looking Jimmie now. Good job bursting his bubble.]

You sure about that? Like...not just Mister Wizard, Carnac the Magnificent, magic eight ball says try again later kind of likelihood?

video:

[charring]

I'm damn sure, man. And very, very sorry to be the one to break that bit of bad news to you. [A small smile. She's trying to be nice. Aww, honey. Don't look at her like that.]

I'm Charlie. Welcome to the City.

[entangles]

I hate to be the one to tell you, but-- you won't find Julie here. You're in another world.

[buysthegoodshit]

Good, the minute I see him I'm gonna kill him anyway.

[Pause.]

Well. Maybe not kill, but he is OFF my Christmas list for sure.

[entangles]

Typically, you shouldn't be threatening to kill anyone. You never know who might be listening.

[ Especially in front of a FBI agent, but she's mostly teasing him. ]

[dignity_misery]

Dark haired broad.

[She repeats that dryly.]

Are we in the fucking 1900s?

[buysthegoodshit]

Nope, good old 1990's. Why?

[sorry, he sees nothing wrong with how he talks. He doesn't mean to be offensive...?]

[dignity_misery]

[Don't mind Carla, she's just an enormous bitch.]

Just sounding a little dated.