三十三

[anatural]

[ action - morning through afternoon ]
[Naga knows before Korra does: Mako's gone. While Korra's at work at the Welcome Center, the polar bear dog sniffs around town, just to confirm it. But all his scents are old over a day old, and she doesn't need to see the Hall of the Missing to know that he's nowhere in the City.


[ voice - filtered to Chekov - supremely hackable ]
[For once, Korra remembers how to do a filter, even when upset. It helps that, by this point, the pain is familiar enough to practically be normal. With Mako gone, she's once again alone in the City.

Except the weirdest part is, she's not actually alone. At this point, she's been in the City longer than she had been in Republic City; she's known Chekov and Hei longer than she had known Mako and Bolin. She doesn't feel as stranded as she had the first time all her friends had left.

That doesn't stop her from feeling lonely in the large Beach House, even with three dogs, eight cats, and five sheep to keep her busy. Which is why she dials Chekov.]

Can you come over tonight? Bring some of that vodka stuff.

[Sadness. Happiness. Sadness again. Her emotions are cycling around so quickly, she can hardly see straight. She's not a drinker by any stretch of the imagination, but right now she'd give just about anything for the world to just stop for a minute and let her catch up.]



[ooc: Open action with Naga during the day! Come run into a lonely polar bear dog.]

Comments

[alittlebent]

Bah-theee. [It's hard to properly say Bossy with your mouth full of dick. She runs her nails down the crease between his thigh & his crotch, pleasure-punishment, but otherwise obliges. The hands in her hair feel really good, and that little note of tenderness does funny things to her heartbeat. (Fortunately, she's too busy blowing him to think about what those funny things are, because she would really prefer to not know.)

Bit by bit, she works him in deeper, carefully managing her breathing as he reaches her throat. When she feels she can handle it, she tries adding a little hum for extra stimulation, remembering how much she enjoyed it.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei feels the scrape of her nails like a sharp tickle skittering along his thigh. Not the kind that makes you want to scratch but the kind that gives you a delicious little shiver. He acknowledges her hum with an appreciative grunt, even as he thrusts with a fraction more pressure against Korra's tongue, the back of her throat. Holding himself this way -- tense, restrained -- makes the muscles in his legs and abdomen twitch. But he doesn't segue into aggression. His eyes are half-closed, the lips parted, breathing in sharp, short, bursts of air. The hands at the back of her head rest lightly, fingers playing through her hair. Half-controlling, half-appreciative. ]

Good girl. [ It could so easily be condescending. But the tone of his voice is soft. Gratified. He strokes her hair with infinite patience, despite the tremors playing across his nerves. ] Go a little faster now.

[alittlebent]

[There's no way for that not to sound at least a little condescending, no matter how soft your voice is. Everything about him is too controlled -- the way he rocks his hips, the way his hands direct her head, the patient, measured tone of his voice. Korra doesn't mind being instructed when she's being taught something new, but so far this is your basic blowjob; she's done this before, and she doesn't appreciate the direction. She gives that same flesh in the crease of his thigh a hard pinch and scrapes her teeth on both the top & bottom of his erection (but indeed going faster).]

[mortemscintilla]

[ There is, Hei supposes, a reason people dislike mapquesting sex. ]

[ He sees that tiny crinkle between her brows -- pure irritation. Stifles a quite noise, almost a laugh, at her pinch -- right before he shudders helplessly against the scrape of her teeth, humming and restraining himself from bucking up. He watches her begin to move him in and out of her mouth as she sucks, and edges himself in a little deeper each time. Gently, but with measured firmness. The widespread fingers of his right hand stay tangled in her hair, half guiding her, half letting her set the pace. The left drifts down her nape, pads of fingers tracing the beads of her spine, massaging the dips between her shoulderblades. It's not to erase the tension in her body, so much as it's an excuse to touch more of her. ]

[ As it is, he can feel the steep climb of excitement in his body. Need, so strong it bursts onto the stillness of the room, tainting the air with an ache. It hurts. It hurts deliciously to be so close, beads of precum bubbling relentlessly at the tip of his cock, a fine sheen of sweat glinting along the line of his sternum, in the hollow of his throat. His chest is jumping with every breath, eyes half-shuttered and hazy and his head tipped so far backwards that his neck arches. ]

[ He doesn't seem close so much as at an internal crossroads. Does he want to spill into her mouth, or to stop after a few strokes, and get down to fucking? ]

[alittlebent]

[Don't think she missed that almost-laugh. She's been getting a lot better at reading other people's feelings -- particularly Hei's, since he's so bad at actually communicating them. She harrumphs.

She can feel him getting closer...not quite there yet, but fast approaching. Normally she tries to get him off, for the pleasure of seeing him break like he so often breaks her, but she's not really in the mood to get come all over her face tonight, and she doesn't want to give him the chance to tell her to stop.

So before he can make a choice, she stops. Lets go of his erection with a wet pop and rolls onto her side, giving him a challenging look.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei lets off a choked groan. The thrust of his hips is insistent when the hot cave of her mouth withdraws. In contrast, the caress of cool air on his bare skin makes him shudder. His erection curves against his body, full of reedy pulse. Drops of pre-cum tear from the tip, landing onto his taut stomach, catching and glinting in the sparse hairs that run up to his navel. In the next breath, he's rolled to grab Korra, both hands curling around the back of her shoulders to drag her close. There's a desperate, controlled urgency in the embrace. He presses his mouth to hers, parted to expel a growl. Clutching at her everywhere, her spine, then her hair, then her hips and thighs. Part of him wants to stay like this; basic and physical and with every centimeter of his skin receptive against Korra's. The other part can only hear his heartbeat filling his head, entering into his chest and fueling the pump of an inexorable greed. ]

[ Breaking away on a gasp, he reaches for his folded clothes. Finds the thin eelskin wallet, and the foil squares within. The rip and roll takes barely a moment, his fingers steady despite the pulse ticking visibly in his throat. But instead of pinning her down, he rolls, taking her with him so she's sprawled across his chest. Beneath her, his sheathed erection springs tight and hard against the slippery seam of her body. He bites at Korra's lips, pushes his nose along her cheek, nuzzling at the spot beneath her ear with an animal fervor. ]

Do what you like, [ whispered before he sucks her earlobe between his teeth, his breaths coming hot and thready. ] Let me watch.

[alittlebent]

[A part of her is always amazed by how quickly he moves, how he can slip from her spine to her hair to her hips to putting on the condom and rolling her on top before she has a chance to react. She's tipsy with kisses and hot touches; it takes her a moment to understand what he's saying.

Let me watch.

She's hit with a peculiar kind of stage fright. This is hardly the first time he's handed her the reins, or the first time he's watched her. She likes it when he watches. Yet she's struck with a feeling not unlike when Tenzin put her behind the microphone to introduce herself to Republic City. Blankness. A complete lack of ideas. A conviction that nothing she could come up with would be good enough and it's going to be boring, a disappointment.

But inaction has never been one of her flaws. After that brief moment of panic, her body kicks in, because something is always better than nothing. She reaches down and lines his erection against her, not so that it will go inside, but so it will slide against her clit. Holding it in place with her right hand, she reaches up with her left and starts massaging her breasts. She lets her eyes drift shut and focuses entirely on her own pleasure.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei's eyes drift half-shut as she takes his erection in her fingers, guiding it between her slit. Not sinking down, the way he wants her to, but teasing herself with it, stroking the tip lazily, back and forth over her clit and then down to her opening. Anticipation robs him of his breath. Time pools with the consistency of red syrup; the light, too, is syrupy-red, flooding Korra's skin. She makes him half-delirious with the sight of her, and even more when she starts playing with her breasts. He imagines himself reaching out, cupping them in his hands. Imagines leaning in, his hungry mouth going everywhere, biting, licking, gorging, while he rocks up, slides deep into her. Instead his arms go over his head, gripping fistfuls of the futon; his expression as he watches her use his cock like a toy is heavy-lidded, almost hypnotized. He's sure she can feel him fighting his need to move underneath her; his body is tense like a strung bow. ]

[ But instead of calling her attention to himself, he watches her -- memorizing and framing the sequence, rolling it around in his mind, until it becomes an instant trigger for lust. Not just a mental picture; but heavy with sensation, sound and motion. Korra perched across him, knees fanned over his hips, hair a dark tumble around her face and a gorgeous flush running up her chest and neck, blotchy and heavenly. As she slides his erection between her thighs, one moment her hard clit is visible and unhooded, and in the next his cock obscures it. The wet noises sound like kissing, like licking. ]

[ Perfect. All of it perfect. ]

[alittlebent]

[He's staying in place; good, because Korra is enjoying this a lot more than she thought she would. She can feel his eyes on her as though they are hands, touching and pinching and rubbing every sensitive spot. Her hand follows the invisible trail, every touch eliciting another jagged breath, making her hips rock hard against the erection she still hasn't put inside. A part of her thinks she could come just like this; another part of her wonders what he would do if she did.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei has no idea what he'd do. ]

[ As it is, with every stroke, he can feel her spreading more of her slickness across his cock. Can feel the radiant heat of her, even through the condom. He's out of breath, his cheekbones flushed, a patina of sweat shimmering on his brow, and his own body seems to have kicked to furnace-like temperatures. Against her, his erection throbs so hard that he swears she can take his pulse that way. There's something about the liquid, secretive sounds where their bodies meet, interspersed with the stirring motions of Korra's hips, the trailing path of her hand, that ratchets up his arousal with frightening intensity. He's sure Korra can feel the quality of his erection change, swelling and hardening, within her encircling hand. ]

Ohhh...

[ He's surprised, dimly, by the gravel of his own voice. Both hands clench tighter into the sheets. The warm, buttery sensation of Korra's moist skin on his, hums like a living thing as it sings its way into his nerves, barbing his urgency, bringing his body alive in the room's red-tinged gloom. His hips move in short, erratic jerks under her, almost pleading. ]

[alittlebent]

[In the end, Korra's body decides for her. She can feel his desperation, feel the plea in the jerky motion of his hips, but she's hit a rhythm and can't bring herself to stop long enough to take him inside. It's not even that she's climbing that high or building up to that big an explosion; she doesn't scream when she comes. It's just a choked gasp, a sudden tension, and then she sags.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei feels it when she stiffens, pulling taut, hauling in air and -- breaking. Secret shudders, silent, reaching, rutting, her breath rippling almost meltingly from her mouth -- every muscle in her vibrating against him -- and he thinks So fucking perfect. When she sags, he lets off a rasping half-chuckle, indulgent to the point of vague affection. His hands are a tad unsteady, as if he's flickering indecisively, unsure which parts of Korra he wants to touch first. His palms smoothe shakily over her shoulders, up her neck, down over her breasts, creeping to her sides. Almost gently, his fingers curl against her hipbones -- ]

[ -- But his next move isn't gentle at all. His mind is already tucking the details away, for future moments when he's alone and wants to sink blind and lost in this microcosm. The way he tilts her hips, angles his cock at the right spot, and sinks deep into the tight, slick-hot interior of her. She's so obscenely wet, he hears himself slide in. His hands grip her hips, fierce, fingers digging into the skin. The pressure around him is so delicious it makes his breath hitch, sweet relief rising up his torso, displacing restraint, twitching muscles, pushing a low groan from his chest. ]

[ Lip caught between his teeth, he lies back again. Takes her hands, holding them up and apart. In the red ambience, his eyes are two hazy glints, fixed intently on her. ]

You okay...?

[alittlebent]

[His sudden thrust does and doesn't take her by surprise. She screams, the contact almost painful to her hyper-sensitive flesh. It sends a shudder through her, and she feels a strange urge to curl up and cover herself. She blushes as he holds her hands apart, leaving her exposed.]

Y-yeah.

[mortemscintilla]

[ The way she screams -- like she doesn't want to but the noises get torn from her anyway -- it goes straight to his cock. It makes Hei shut his eyes because if he doesn't start thinking about bodybags and chigger-bites and early morning katas, this could get embarrassing very quickly. As it is, she feels so fucking good. His erection pulses. Just the sensation of filling her is enough to spark that bright, delicious upspiraling into blindness. His fingers lace with hers, squeezing. He shifts under her, thrusting up. It's like a surreal carousel starting; he lets her hang on tight to his hands as he fucks her in tight little jabs, barely moving at all, but she seems so sensitive right now, as if her clit has opened out to encompass her whole groin. Despite the crawl of desperation stringing his nerves into threadbare slivers, singing to go faster, harder, he stays controlled. ]

[ The walls are soundproofed; the world is muted. In the red-black gloaming, Hei absorbs all the little details of her. Korra breathing, flushed, her blood pulsing, beating beneath her skin: tiny, beautiful movements disguised, to the rest of the world, as stillness. ]

[ Hei pities the rest of the world so much right now. ]

[alittlebent]

[She keeps herself perfectly still, letting him move as he needs to. (Two orgasms so close together, she's feeling a little weak-legged.) She closes her eyes and squeezes his hands tightly, holding on for dear life.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei's smile, as Korra's eyes close, is small and private. She gives herself so prettily, all lissome innocent grace, it might be almost lewd, except that it comes so naturally, it's the opposite of performance. She seems like she gets lost in sex, no inhibitions, no angles. Complete absorption. Hei envies that, because he can't follow her. He's never been that way -- look what happened the evening she asked him to let go of control. There's never a moment in which he hasn't kept a corner of his mind focused on detached observation, judgement, calculation. Of himself as well as everything else. ]

[ Right now, though ... he's as close to lost as he'll ever be. Stirring up into Korra, harder, but no more than an inch or two, then sinking back down -- only to thrust deeper within her, until he's fully socketed in her wonderful heat. He can't help it. The pace is too mild, and he's slavering for that flesh-against-flesh friction, wanting so badly to slam his cock into her over and over and over again until they're both rubbed raw. Korra's inner thighs feel slippery against his skin, and he grips her small hands, holds them tightly up as if she's balancing on some high ledge. His breaths come in soft, jerky gasps, urgency and arousal mingling thickly in his voice as he rolls his hips and grinds against her, everything slick, the bulk of him rubbing that sweet-spot inside her. Both eyes open, seeing how it feels to her. ]

[alittlebent]

[She bites her lip, her breathing ragged with pleasure&pain. She clenches tight, trying to stimulate him even more, to bring him off at last.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ She clenches around him, and Hei finds himself caught on the hard edge of that sensation, stumbling over it. A wave of hard muscular contractions rock him, too soon and too sudden. His mind flinches, and he loses his train of thought, forgets what's so exciting about the image of Korra astride him; the notion flutters and vanishes, leaving behind nothing but heat. Pleasure sparks everywhere, but he's too immersed in the rippling slickness of Korra's body to feel anything but a repulsed fascination for his juvenile loss of control. His fingers clutch hers tightly, his body arcs across the length of his spine, and his eyes snap shut, but he can still see Korra glowing in the shadows, the darkness flooding each dip and dimple of her fresh, damp skin. And the pomegranate light like a red sunset, fizzing and setting light to all the places the shadows can't touch. ]

[ No space in his mind for anything more. After all the build-up, the orgasm seems to come too fast, and leaves Hei flattened, slumping on the futon with his head tipped back, gulping in air through his parted lips. ]

[anatural]

[Korra rolls off of him and onto her side. As much as she'd like to curl up against him and cuddle close, she can't help remembering what happened after the last time they had sex. She's not scared -- her pulse is slowing, not speeding, and her breath is bit by bit evening out -- but she is cautious. If he's going to freak out again, they're both better off if he has space to do it. She watches his expression carefully for any sign.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Eyes half-lidded, Hei stares at the ceiling, his expression almost mild in repose, boyish and dazed-looking. Along his side, he can feel the wariness buzzing around Korra. He wants to reach out and touch her. It seems the only way to break the tension. But that'd be a superficial closeness, like all the times he'd reach out for Amber in the heat of the moment, his strange and unreachable comrade, and she'd allow herself to be taken. I don't know you, I don't know anything anymore, he'd think afterward, lonely as she stroked his damp back. ]

[ Instead, without looking at Korra, he sits up, scrubbing his hair. Pulls away slowly, and pads barefoot to the bathroom -- feeling both scooped-out and overheated, imagining he's glowing like an ember in the gloom. Better to distance himself for a bit. Better to pull himself together alone. The sawdust feels cool and crunchy-powdery beneath his callused feet. In the bathroom, it's dark because he hasn't replaced the light-bulb He doesn't bother zapping it to lend the polished gloom a diffused glow. He'd rather avoid the mirror as it is. There's a curse wafting through the City air; everyone's reflections are disgorging terrible sights. He doesn't need reminders of what his own is. (Hollow-eyed and cold-hot; a skeletal viz full of toxic voltage, with a black-hole for a mouth.) Shaking it off, he flushes the condom and washes up in the vague ceramic blurs, finding, with hands dabbing the air, the toilet, the sink, the toothbrush, the shower, the faucets and soap. ]

[ A motorcycle drags its lonely Brrrr through the streets outside the building when he returns to Korra, skin and hair still damp from a quick toweling. Perhaps, to both their surprise, he slips back into the futon with her. Quietly, he cuddles her close, wrapping a leg across her. Smoothes her hair back so he can see her face, dappled with fading blushes, glowing with old sweat. Gently, he asks, ]

All right?

[ As if the All right? has come to replace Was that okay? or Are you uncomfortable/nervous/upset? or Forgive me for the distance or I'm doing the best I can. ]

[anatural]

[It hurts less every time. Pulling away -- it's just what he does. At least this time no furniture got damaged in the process. While he showers, Korra stretches and looks around the room. Not that she can see much. Not that there's much to see. It's dark, mostly empty, rough & unfinished.

A part of her thinks How appropriate.

She still feels an almost queasy mixture of surprise and relief when he slips back into the futon and pulls her close.]

I feel like I should be asking you that.

[mortemscintilla]

Need a better line of pillow talk.

[ Dismissive, but also dry and a little throaty, his fingers grazing across Korra's mouth. Not that he bothers with pillow talk at all. Or talking in general. Drunk with endomorphins, drowsy with too many insomniac nights and busy days crammed together, his mind feels curiously unmoored from his body; slumped beside Korra, legs tangled, limbs heavy and damp, he feels warmly comfortable. Safe. Which is illogical, of course. Hei closes his eyes, the skylight turning the insides of his eyelids red, and feels it nonetheless. Overtaken with a weird sort of joy, and a weirder vulnerability. Except vulnerability never did Hei any good. Little human boys, even boys who can hold their own in a battlefield of superhumans, aren't worth mentioning unless they're absolutely unbeatable -- faster, sharper, smarter, crueler, every ounce of softness inverted into lethal venom. And then there was the spiral after Pai vanished, and then Tokyo, and then his teammates dropping like flies -- so yeah. Vulnerability is for people who fucking have time for it. Hei doesn't. Didn't before when he was a soldier; doesn't now that he is a weapon. (Deterrent, technically.) ]

[ Except that with Korra it comes startlingly easy. It would be frightening, but for the fact that Hei's made note of it and catalogued it as This would never go anywhere. He doubts Korra would want it to, but Korra is so kind to him, and Hei's good at being selfish. So he'll loll here and take it because he's never wanted kindness -- but he'll take it if that's all he can get. ]

[ He looks right back at Korra then, fingers tracing the lines of her cheeks and nose. Brushes a fingertip along the spiky lower row of her eyelashes, as delicately as he can. So many striations of color in her eyes -- red, purple, white, blue, black. So pretty. ] You look so wrecked, [ Hei breathes, barely moving his lips, his eyes only just open. It's spoken in a tone anyone else would use for You're so beautiful. ]

[anatural]

[She still scrunches up her face instinctively as his fingers come so close to her eyes -- probably not the most sexy or heart-warming expression. But there's a smile in her eyes when she looks at him.]

Whose fault is that, huh? [She puts hand on his waist and leans forward to kiss him lightly. The disassociation, the conflict about happiness and vulnerability, none of that makes its way to where Korra can sense it. He just seems quiet and fond and, for the moment, though Korra knows too well how it can change in less than a second, safe.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ A smile twitches on Hei's mouth at Korra's question, which her mouth then catches in the kiss. His lips play with hers, lazy and half-breathless in a way that seems to warm the sticky, humid atmosphere between them further. Bit by bit, his shoulders loosen -- all but the faintest iota of tension dissipating. He sighs, forehead rolling against Korra's, and lets his eyelids droop shut. With luck, he'll catch a brief power-nap before heading Topside to check on Pai. ]

[ But for the moment, it's enough to feel Korra's glowing heat against his skin, her messy hair tickling his cheek. He's been in this spot before -- on the floor of a narrow sleeping bag, breathing in damp grass, dust, and the scent of Amber's hair, both their heads on the same pillow-padding. But this feels different -- and what a relief that is. Settling his foot against the back of Korra's ankle, which isn't anything like the back of Amber's, Hei finds himself suddenly grateful, and tries categorising other parts of Korra which are nothing like Amber. ]

[ Except, sublimely self-absorbed after his fuck, he's already on the verge of sleep. Brushing her eyelashes one last time with a fingertip, he watches the hazy flickers of color in Korra's irises. When he speaks, his voice is a thick murmur along the crook of her neck. ] I love ... your eyes in this light. [ Not realizing how misleading or potentially cruel that might sound, if Korra was expecting something different. (He hopes she wasn't. Hopes he understands her well enough to know she'd never want it. Not from someone like him.) As it is, he's sinking into sleep as if from a height, as if he's a single, soft-spoken word falling through space. ]

[anatural]

[No. No no no no no no no. No way is he --

Korra stops breathing when he pauses, dreading the next word. Her breath comes out in a rush when it's just something about her eyes, and she sags in relief. She doesn't want him to love her. Love is complication and pain and they've already got more than enough of that just liking each other. Love needs to stay far, far away from this.

But it's already encroaching. There's something ominous about the fact that he used the word "love" at all, even if it's just about her eyes. More ominous still, the twinge of disappointment buried under her relief. Love brews like a revolution, but Korra doesn't know how to fight it. There aren't any Equalists to punch, no false leaders to unmask.

How do you fight a feeling? The last time she tried, she ended up naked on the floor of a shed with him. That's not something she particularly wants to repeat.

She wants to shower, but Hei's drifted off and it's such a rare thing that Korra hates to disturb him. She'd sleep, but the fact that he can is yet another troubling sign.

Shit.]