三十三

[anatural]

[ action - morning through afternoon ]
[Naga knows before Korra does: Mako's gone. While Korra's at work at the Welcome Center, the polar bear dog sniffs around town, just to confirm it. But all his scents are old over a day old, and she doesn't need to see the Hall of the Missing to know that he's nowhere in the City.


[ voice - filtered to Chekov - supremely hackable ]
[For once, Korra remembers how to do a filter, even when upset. It helps that, by this point, the pain is familiar enough to practically be normal. With Mako gone, she's once again alone in the City.

Except the weirdest part is, she's not actually alone. At this point, she's been in the City longer than she had been in Republic City; she's known Chekov and Hei longer than she had known Mako and Bolin. She doesn't feel as stranded as she had the first time all her friends had left.

That doesn't stop her from feeling lonely in the large Beach House, even with three dogs, eight cats, and five sheep to keep her busy. Which is why she dials Chekov.]

Can you come over tonight? Bring some of that vodka stuff.

[Sadness. Happiness. Sadness again. Her emotions are cycling around so quickly, she can hardly see straight. She's not a drinker by any stretch of the imagination, but right now she'd give just about anything for the world to just stop for a minute and let her catch up.]



[ooc: Open action with Naga during the day! Come run into a lonely polar bear dog.]

Comments

[alittlebent]

[She keeps herself perfectly still, letting him move as he needs to. (Two orgasms so close together, she's feeling a little weak-legged.) She closes her eyes and squeezes his hands tightly, holding on for dear life.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei's smile, as Korra's eyes close, is small and private. She gives herself so prettily, all lissome innocent grace, it might be almost lewd, except that it comes so naturally, it's the opposite of performance. She seems like she gets lost in sex, no inhibitions, no angles. Complete absorption. Hei envies that, because he can't follow her. He's never been that way -- look what happened the evening she asked him to let go of control. There's never a moment in which he hasn't kept a corner of his mind focused on detached observation, judgement, calculation. Of himself as well as everything else. ]

[ Right now, though ... he's as close to lost as he'll ever be. Stirring up into Korra, harder, but no more than an inch or two, then sinking back down -- only to thrust deeper within her, until he's fully socketed in her wonderful heat. He can't help it. The pace is too mild, and he's slavering for that flesh-against-flesh friction, wanting so badly to slam his cock into her over and over and over again until they're both rubbed raw. Korra's inner thighs feel slippery against his skin, and he grips her small hands, holds them tightly up as if she's balancing on some high ledge. His breaths come in soft, jerky gasps, urgency and arousal mingling thickly in his voice as he rolls his hips and grinds against her, everything slick, the bulk of him rubbing that sweet-spot inside her. Both eyes open, seeing how it feels to her. ]

[alittlebent]

[She bites her lip, her breathing ragged with pleasure&pain. She clenches tight, trying to stimulate him even more, to bring him off at last.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ She clenches around him, and Hei finds himself caught on the hard edge of that sensation, stumbling over it. A wave of hard muscular contractions rock him, too soon and too sudden. His mind flinches, and he loses his train of thought, forgets what's so exciting about the image of Korra astride him; the notion flutters and vanishes, leaving behind nothing but heat. Pleasure sparks everywhere, but he's too immersed in the rippling slickness of Korra's body to feel anything but a repulsed fascination for his juvenile loss of control. His fingers clutch hers tightly, his body arcs across the length of his spine, and his eyes snap shut, but he can still see Korra glowing in the shadows, the darkness flooding each dip and dimple of her fresh, damp skin. And the pomegranate light like a red sunset, fizzing and setting light to all the places the shadows can't touch. ]

[ No space in his mind for anything more. After all the build-up, the orgasm seems to come too fast, and leaves Hei flattened, slumping on the futon with his head tipped back, gulping in air through his parted lips. ]

[anatural]

[Korra rolls off of him and onto her side. As much as she'd like to curl up against him and cuddle close, she can't help remembering what happened after the last time they had sex. She's not scared -- her pulse is slowing, not speeding, and her breath is bit by bit evening out -- but she is cautious. If he's going to freak out again, they're both better off if he has space to do it. She watches his expression carefully for any sign.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Eyes half-lidded, Hei stares at the ceiling, his expression almost mild in repose, boyish and dazed-looking. Along his side, he can feel the wariness buzzing around Korra. He wants to reach out and touch her. It seems the only way to break the tension. But that'd be a superficial closeness, like all the times he'd reach out for Amber in the heat of the moment, his strange and unreachable comrade, and she'd allow herself to be taken. I don't know you, I don't know anything anymore, he'd think afterward, lonely as she stroked his damp back. ]

[ Instead, without looking at Korra, he sits up, scrubbing his hair. Pulls away slowly, and pads barefoot to the bathroom -- feeling both scooped-out and overheated, imagining he's glowing like an ember in the gloom. Better to distance himself for a bit. Better to pull himself together alone. The sawdust feels cool and crunchy-powdery beneath his callused feet. In the bathroom, it's dark because he hasn't replaced the light-bulb He doesn't bother zapping it to lend the polished gloom a diffused glow. He'd rather avoid the mirror as it is. There's a curse wafting through the City air; everyone's reflections are disgorging terrible sights. He doesn't need reminders of what his own is. (Hollow-eyed and cold-hot; a skeletal viz full of toxic voltage, with a black-hole for a mouth.) Shaking it off, he flushes the condom and washes up in the vague ceramic blurs, finding, with hands dabbing the air, the toilet, the sink, the toothbrush, the shower, the faucets and soap. ]

[ A motorcycle drags its lonely Brrrr through the streets outside the building when he returns to Korra, skin and hair still damp from a quick toweling. Perhaps, to both their surprise, he slips back into the futon with her. Quietly, he cuddles her close, wrapping a leg across her. Smoothes her hair back so he can see her face, dappled with fading blushes, glowing with old sweat. Gently, he asks, ]

All right?

[ As if the All right? has come to replace Was that okay? or Are you uncomfortable/nervous/upset? or Forgive me for the distance or I'm doing the best I can. ]

[anatural]

[It hurts less every time. Pulling away -- it's just what he does. At least this time no furniture got damaged in the process. While he showers, Korra stretches and looks around the room. Not that she can see much. Not that there's much to see. It's dark, mostly empty, rough & unfinished.

A part of her thinks How appropriate.

She still feels an almost queasy mixture of surprise and relief when he slips back into the futon and pulls her close.]

I feel like I should be asking you that.

[mortemscintilla]

Need a better line of pillow talk.

[ Dismissive, but also dry and a little throaty, his fingers grazing across Korra's mouth. Not that he bothers with pillow talk at all. Or talking in general. Drunk with endomorphins, drowsy with too many insomniac nights and busy days crammed together, his mind feels curiously unmoored from his body; slumped beside Korra, legs tangled, limbs heavy and damp, he feels warmly comfortable. Safe. Which is illogical, of course. Hei closes his eyes, the skylight turning the insides of his eyelids red, and feels it nonetheless. Overtaken with a weird sort of joy, and a weirder vulnerability. Except vulnerability never did Hei any good. Little human boys, even boys who can hold their own in a battlefield of superhumans, aren't worth mentioning unless they're absolutely unbeatable -- faster, sharper, smarter, crueler, every ounce of softness inverted into lethal venom. And then there was the spiral after Pai vanished, and then Tokyo, and then his teammates dropping like flies -- so yeah. Vulnerability is for people who fucking have time for it. Hei doesn't. Didn't before when he was a soldier; doesn't now that he is a weapon. (Deterrent, technically.) ]

[ Except that with Korra it comes startlingly easy. It would be frightening, but for the fact that Hei's made note of it and catalogued it as This would never go anywhere. He doubts Korra would want it to, but Korra is so kind to him, and Hei's good at being selfish. So he'll loll here and take it because he's never wanted kindness -- but he'll take it if that's all he can get. ]

[ He looks right back at Korra then, fingers tracing the lines of her cheeks and nose. Brushes a fingertip along the spiky lower row of her eyelashes, as delicately as he can. So many striations of color in her eyes -- red, purple, white, blue, black. So pretty. ] You look so wrecked, [ Hei breathes, barely moving his lips, his eyes only just open. It's spoken in a tone anyone else would use for You're so beautiful. ]

[anatural]

[She still scrunches up her face instinctively as his fingers come so close to her eyes -- probably not the most sexy or heart-warming expression. But there's a smile in her eyes when she looks at him.]

Whose fault is that, huh? [She puts hand on his waist and leans forward to kiss him lightly. The disassociation, the conflict about happiness and vulnerability, none of that makes its way to where Korra can sense it. He just seems quiet and fond and, for the moment, though Korra knows too well how it can change in less than a second, safe.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ A smile twitches on Hei's mouth at Korra's question, which her mouth then catches in the kiss. His lips play with hers, lazy and half-breathless in a way that seems to warm the sticky, humid atmosphere between them further. Bit by bit, his shoulders loosen -- all but the faintest iota of tension dissipating. He sighs, forehead rolling against Korra's, and lets his eyelids droop shut. With luck, he'll catch a brief power-nap before heading Topside to check on Pai. ]

[ But for the moment, it's enough to feel Korra's glowing heat against his skin, her messy hair tickling his cheek. He's been in this spot before -- on the floor of a narrow sleeping bag, breathing in damp grass, dust, and the scent of Amber's hair, both their heads on the same pillow-padding. But this feels different -- and what a relief that is. Settling his foot against the back of Korra's ankle, which isn't anything like the back of Amber's, Hei finds himself suddenly grateful, and tries categorising other parts of Korra which are nothing like Amber. ]

[ Except, sublimely self-absorbed after his fuck, he's already on the verge of sleep. Brushing her eyelashes one last time with a fingertip, he watches the hazy flickers of color in Korra's irises. When he speaks, his voice is a thick murmur along the crook of her neck. ] I love ... your eyes in this light. [ Not realizing how misleading or potentially cruel that might sound, if Korra was expecting something different. (He hopes she wasn't. Hopes he understands her well enough to know she'd never want it. Not from someone like him.) As it is, he's sinking into sleep as if from a height, as if he's a single, soft-spoken word falling through space. ]

[anatural]

[No. No no no no no no no. No way is he --

Korra stops breathing when he pauses, dreading the next word. Her breath comes out in a rush when it's just something about her eyes, and she sags in relief. She doesn't want him to love her. Love is complication and pain and they've already got more than enough of that just liking each other. Love needs to stay far, far away from this.

But it's already encroaching. There's something ominous about the fact that he used the word "love" at all, even if it's just about her eyes. More ominous still, the twinge of disappointment buried under her relief. Love brews like a revolution, but Korra doesn't know how to fight it. There aren't any Equalists to punch, no false leaders to unmask.

How do you fight a feeling? The last time she tried, she ended up naked on the floor of a shed with him. That's not something she particularly wants to repeat.

She wants to shower, but Hei's drifted off and it's such a rare thing that Korra hates to disturb him. She'd sleep, but the fact that he can is yet another troubling sign.

Shit.]