三十二

[anatural]

[Korra's been in prison for a few days now, and she is PISSED. So pissed, in fact, that her took her this long to realize what she needs to do.]

[ video ]
ATTENTION EVERYONE. THIS GUY -- [oh crap how does she show somebody's picture BLEEP BLEEP BLOOP the screen cuts out and then briefly links to this post.

A few moments later, Korra's face finally comes back on screen.]

That guy who said his knife was stolen [since she has no idea if the bleep bloop did its thing or not] is a liar. It's not his knife. SO YOU CAN TELL ALL YOUR STUPID NAKED LADY HALLUCINATIONS TO GO AWAY. [That was directed to Theo. Seriously. She's not impressed with the visions of harem women. She has trouble enough sleeping with the nightmares she's earned.


Back on point.]

Rowena, wherever you are, I need you to come to the police station and explain. Tell them that it was your knife! [Because it looks like she's not getting out of prison until the knife is returned or "Rowena" tells the cops the truth. (Little does Korra know....)


Now we get to the bane of Korra's network post existence -- how does she end this thing? After a long, awkward pause, she says --]

Thank you.

[Click.]

Comments

[mortemscintilla]

[ There's a long moment's silence. It's broken by the scritch-scritch as a cockroach crawls onto the Network device's lens. Flicking it away, Hei fixes Korra with a flat look. ]

I'd hate to be in your shoes if it turns out she was lying.

[ Or worse, that she didn't exist. ]

[anatural]

[ERK Korra wants to say SHE'S NOT! but she's gullible, not an idiot. She can read the signs as much as the next person. Whether Rowena was lying or is gone, it's becoming more and more clear that she's not going to be coming to Korra's aid.]

It doesn't look like you're much better off. [Sulky.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ No, not an idiot. Korra's problem is that her heart's just too big for her own good. That, and her goddamn savior-complex. Hei knows it's something a lot of people gravitate towards. But there are just as many who'd exploit it for their own ends. He nearly smiles when she changes tacks by focusing the conversation on him. He's tempted to shrug it off. But after a beat, he says, ]

I wasn't arrested. I turned myself in.

[ No point playing hide-and-seek in a glass ant-farm. He misses Pai, is worried how she's getting on. But it beats the alternative of playing fugitive. He's had enough of that back home. ]

[anatural]

For what? [That is something she never expected to hear from him.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei's in no mood to get into the details. These aren't his customized filters; he has no idea who might be listening. He might be more obliging if they weren't on the Network. But the truth is, Hei prefers to keep Korra separate from his investigations about the City, the careful notes and theories. She still strikes him as a child sometimes -- and like most children, she's too brash and honest to be trusted with more than a few tidbits of knowledge. Of course, that only means she hasn't been in the game as long as others her age have. Innocence is a fragile thing. ]

Use your imagination. [ It's a curt monotone that indicates he doesn't want to talk about it. ]

[anatural]

[Oooooooookaaaaaaaay somebody's a little pissy.]

I'm gonna guess public indecency. [Arching an eyebrow. It's two thirds snark, one third genuine attempt to lighten the mood.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ It's the most perfunctory of scowls, a miniscule twitch of irritation on his face that's there and gone again when he realizes she's trying to lighten the conversation. His expression shutters closed into something distant but not necessarily cold. ]

[ Eventually, dryly, ]

Are you sure I didn't steal someone's food?

[anatural]

Good point. Good. Point. You ate your work out of business, didn't you?

[mortemscintilla]

[ This conversation is ridiculous. ]

What would you do if I said I'd eaten a few customers too.

[anatural]

Be seriously grossed out.

[mortemscintilla]

[ ...Well. Congratulations. Now his mind just took a swandive into the gutter. There's something almost smug in the set of his mouth. ]

I'm actually very particular about that type of 'eating.' [ The mild dose of amusement fades, as he sees the blinking red light on his device. Yin's code. He takes a moment to check her message, before his expression slips back into an flat emotional nullity. In a quiet voice, he says, ] I have some bad news.

[anatural]

[Shit.]

What?

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei hears the thin edge of dread in her voice. Unfortunately he can't do anything to allay it. Once again, he tries to picture a vulnerable young woman, attacked by a powerful predator, at the City's hospital with its pick of sympathetic souls, a Network with an embarrassment of helpful hero types, turning to Korra -- a complete stranger -- for getting her knife back. He just can't see it. It's not a matter of being cynical. His gut doesn't buy it, and he's learnt to trust his gut. ]

There's no Rowena in the City. [ A beat, in which he scans the Network for past and present entries, before he lets his gaze meet hers. ] She may have left. But it's just as likely she never existed. Especially if there's no trace of her on the Network.

[anatural]

No. No way. [It's not that she thinks you're lying. She just can't wrap her mind around it.] I saw her. A LOT. We talked to each other! How can she not exist?!

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei experiences an icy crawl of deja-vu that skitters up his spine and across his scalp. For a moment it's like watching his marks react to learning 'Li' wasn't a real person. Just an illusion. No, Li wouldn't do that, some of them had insisted, conveniently forgetting that Li existed nowhere except in their minds. Watching her, he realizes it isn't always true that things play out first as tragedy and then as farce. You can play the tragedy once yourself, and then find yourself in the audience, seeing it acted for you, and the impact is still there. Only the perspective is different. ]

[ If he were anyone else, he'd feel sorry for her. Instead all he feels is a dull mixture of tired and disgusted. ]

Talking and seeing doesn't mean anything. [ A beat. ] If she lived in the City, she'd have other friends. Did you ever see anyone else visit her? Did anyone in the hospital have records of her?

[ Of course, knowing Korra, she'd probably never bothered to check. ]

[anatural]

No. I don't know. [ARGH.] This is STUPID! Even if she lied about being Rowena, she has to exist somehow! I didn't just make her up!

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei represses a sigh. He doesn't blame her for being so stubborn. She can't help it. A gambler will agonize for hours over whether to put his chips on, say, the red or the black, and then, when the croupier spins the wheel, he'll double or even triple the bet, as a way of bolstering his conviction that he must have been betting right. If he were betting wrong, why would he be putting all that extra money down? It's no different here -- the risk-taking and the attempt to rationalize and justify it. ]

Korra. [ Not a comfort but a quiet and unspoken Use Your Head. ] This is the City. It's full of illusionists and shapeshifters. Someone convinced you to steal the knife. But it wasn't a girl named Rowena. She was just a lure to manipulate you with. [ The oldest trick in the book, and Korra fell for it. There's a careful pause, before he adds, ] Not everyone is what they seem. Remember?

[ It was how she came face-to-face with BK201. That crazy night -- the parking-lot, the monsters, the shattered mask -- feels like it was a lifetime ago. ]

[anatural]

[Korra hasn't actually had much contact with shapeshifters or illusionists. "Hei" is not "Li," but physically they aren't much different. That's what's hanging her up -- she's picturing Rowena as someone like Li. It doesn't even occur to her that "Rowena" might not even look like Rowena.]

Are you saying she could actually be some dude with a beard?

[mortemscintilla]

[ Unfortunately, Hei's had enough experience with shapeshifters, illusionists and body-jumpers to last him a lifetime. In his world, appearances count somewhere between jack and squat in the grand scheme of things. At her question, he raises his eyebrows. ]

There's a possibility.

[ Interesting that she'd use that specific description, though. ]

[anatural]

[A dude with a beard is about as opposite of Rowena as she can imagine. The only reason she used that example.]

DAMN IT.

[She slams her fist against the wall. Of course this happens. Of course this does. The moment she tries to help someone, she fucks it up. Worst. Avatar. EVER. As if that weren't already obvious enough.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Frankly, it's what Hei would imagine if he thought of someone physically opposite to Yin, too. That, or Huang. ]

[ The muffled thud of her fist against the wall doesn't make him flinch. Nor does the volume of her voice. (The Network device is perilously close to his ear. ) He doesn't say anything to her; he just watches. If Li were real, the back of his throat would burn with sympathetic words. But he knows Korra is experiencing only what is inevitable. A fraction of the trouble she's caused. But then, he thinks, maybe that's all any of us really get -- a sample of the misgiving for our mistakes. Because if we feel the full force of our old errors, we'll just stop. ]

[ At length, ]

I won't say this isn't your fault. But -- [ His voice descends into something almost-soft. ] You couldn't have known, either.

[anatural]

You would've known. [She's pretty sure Aang would've known too.]

[mortemscintilla]

Depends on who was fooling me.

[ He may be the best in his business, with just enough training and expertise to seem superhuman. But it's a tactical risk to consider himself invincible. There's always someone out there -- better, smarter, stronger. He's been manipulated, made bad calls and errors in judgement, as often as anyone. Especially at Korra's age. He thinks back on Nick, on Amber, on Chiaki, on the whole inexorable film-reel of tragedy and trauma that flickers through his history. Those parts are highlighted in red as major events. Not something to grieve about. But not something he'd blot out from memory either. ]

[ I refuse to be erased. I refuse to be ashamed. I refuse to stop learning or fighting. It's not something Amber taught him -- but something he picked up from being what he is. ]

[ His voice gives away nothing when he says, ] You'll learn. That's how it works. Remembering each screw-up ... makes us human. [ Us not You. He isn't rationalizing or disengaging. ]

comment does not exist

[anatural]

[No response to that, 'cause she needs time to think it over. And deal with all the other shit in this post.]

nor does this one

[mortemscintilla]

[ You do that, kiddo. ]

[ Meanwhile, he has cockroaches to swat. ]