audio;

[anunluckypenny]

There's a lot of love going around today and I'm all for that. The thing is? I can't tell you what to do to get someone to love you back. I know I'm always saying that I'm completely happy to help anyone who needs it, but I'm not exactly qualified to help out here. Seriously. I've never, ever been able to keep a boyfriend, and most of my relationships have been pretty disastrous. So if you're planning on swinging by the Welcome Center for help of the romantic variety, you might want to rethink your options.

What I can do is tell you what not to do, okay? Here you go:

First, don't ask Penny for relationship advice.

Second, don't stalk whoever it is you're into. I'm serious about this. Even if you're a really sweet person, whoever you're stalking is gonna think that you're creepy if they catch you.

Third, don't be a total jerk. That should probably go without saying, but I've met a lot of guys who could use the reminder. Don't talk about yourself all the time, listen, and keep the conversation appropriate. So, like... don't talk about your sex life in a super-public place. That's important.

Last, don't act like someone you're not because you think you'll be more impressive that way. If the person you like can't love you for who you are, then you're probably not the best match, right?

That's all I've got. Wait--no... one more thing. Don't throw yourself at some stranger just because he stopped a runaway van from mowing you down or whatever. No one makes good decisions right after a near-death experience. Get to know people a little before deciding that you're in love with them. It'll make life a whole lot easier, I promise.

Comments

[mortemscintilla]

It was?

[ :c !!! ]

I'm sure he didn't deserve you anyway.

[anunluckypenny]

[Penny might have absolutely no self-esteem, but even she knows that she deserves better than Captain Hammer.]

You're too sweet, Li. Thank goodness you're nothing like him.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Now if only a certain Avatar would join these enlightened ranks of Too Good For His Ass. ]

He doesn't sound like someone anyone should aspire to be like.

[ The hypocrisy, oh lawd. ]

[anunluckypenny]

Definitely not, but he has plenty of fans.

[mortemscintilla]

Really? How?

...Is he someone famous in your world?

[anunluckypenny]

Super famous. He's the biggest superhero in the Los Angeles area.

[mortemscintilla]

He ... doesn't sound particularly heroic, if you ask me.

[anunluckypenny]

Heroism's in the eye of the beholder, I guess.

[mortemscintilla]

Anyone who makes someone unhappy, while knowing exactly what they're doing ... is no hero.

[ He would know. ]

[anunluckypenny]

See, I agree with that. Not everyone does, though.