poly_chromatic

There's a lot of love going around today and I'm all for that. The thing is? I can't tell you what to do to get someone to love you back. I know I'm always saying that I'm completely happy to help anyone who needs it, but I'm not exactly qualified to help out here. Seriously. I've never, ever been able to keep a boyfriend, and most of my relationships have been pretty disastrous. So if you're planning on swinging by the Welcome Center for help of the romantic variety, you might want to rethink your options.

What I can do is tell you what not to do, okay? Here you go:

First, don't ask Penny for relationship advice.

Second, don't stalk whoever it is you're into. I'm serious about this. Even if you're a really sweet person, whoever you're stalking is gonna think that you're creepy if they catch you.

Third, don't be a total jerk. That should probably go without saying, but I've met a lot of guys who could use the reminder. Don't talk about yourself all the time, listen, and keep the conversation appropriate. So, like... don't talk about your sex life in a super-public place. That's important.

Last, don't act like someone you're not because you think you'll be more impressive that way. If the person you like can't love you for who you are, then you're probably not the best match, right?

That's all I've got. Wait--no... one more thing. Don't throw yourself at some stranger just because he stopped a runaway van from mowing you down or whatever. No one makes good decisions right after a near-death experience. Get to know people a little before deciding that you're in love with them. It'll make life a whole lot easier, I promise.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh my. At least two of those things have the possibility to go very badly.]

Hey... I don't know if this counts as unwelcome advice, but don't forget to tell her that she's special once in a while, okay? Speaking as a girl, it's always nice to hear that.

[ Herego, bad influence. ]

I won't. Thanks, Penny.

Did you want to talk about your stuff? The stalking?

Sure thing.

Nah, I'm good. It's all ancient history. Good stuff to keep in mind, though.

Yeah. Stalking will go on the list of things I won't do for someone. Or, to someone.

I didn't figure you were the stalking type. You're too thoughtful for that kind of thing.

Yeah, I am. I mean, I care? And pay attention. [ And send his friend to check on his ex under the guise of making sure she's well. Though, that hasn't happened yet, he was thinking about doing it. ] Just because we broke up, we didn't just -- we weren't done being friends. We just couldn't be together.

I'm sorry it didn't work out. Staying friends, though--that's definitely not nothing.

But, that was Allison. I have Lydia, now.

Right! That doesn't make it any less incredible. A lot of people aren't mature enough to stay friends.

You think I'm mature? [ :D ]

Yeah, of course. Your starting up a vet clinic... that takes some maturity.

Thanks, Penny.

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