anunluckypenny: [so they say] (Waiting)
Penny ([personal profile] anunluckypenny) wrote in [community profile] poly_chromatic2013-08-20 08:34 pm

audio;

There's a lot of love going around today and I'm all for that. The thing is? I can't tell you what to do to get someone to love you back. I know I'm always saying that I'm completely happy to help anyone who needs it, but I'm not exactly qualified to help out here. Seriously. I've never, ever been able to keep a boyfriend, and most of my relationships have been pretty disastrous. So if you're planning on swinging by the Welcome Center for help of the romantic variety, you might want to rethink your options.

What I can do is tell you what not to do, okay? Here you go:

First, don't ask Penny for relationship advice.

Second, don't stalk whoever it is you're into. I'm serious about this. Even if you're a really sweet person, whoever you're stalking is gonna think that you're creepy if they catch you.

Third, don't be a total jerk. That should probably go without saying, but I've met a lot of guys who could use the reminder. Don't talk about yourself all the time, listen, and keep the conversation appropriate. So, like... don't talk about your sex life in a super-public place. That's important.

Last, don't act like someone you're not because you think you'll be more impressive that way. If the person you like can't love you for who you are, then you're probably not the best match, right?

That's all I've got. Wait--no... one more thing. Don't throw yourself at some stranger just because he stopped a runaway van from mowing you down or whatever. No one makes good decisions right after a near-death experience. Get to know people a little before deciding that you're in love with them. It'll make life a whole lot easier, I promise.

studmuffin: (➘ for you to let me back in)

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[personal profile] studmuffin 2013-08-21 10:24 am (UTC)(link)
Nobody can resist the gut-punch instinct of hey you saved my life, let's make out. It's scientific.
studmuffin: (& than that one time)

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[personal profile] studmuffin 2013-08-24 11:29 am (UTC)(link)
I have been both. Nobody made out with me though.
studmuffin: (➙ it sent you to me without wings)

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[personal profile] studmuffin 2013-08-26 08:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I'd probably just get crushed.
studmuffin: (➙ i found life out on the weekdays)

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[personal profile] studmuffin 2013-08-27 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I'll leave it to the professionals.