poly_chromatic

There's a lot of love going around today and I'm all for that. The thing is? I can't tell you what to do to get someone to love you back. I know I'm always saying that I'm completely happy to help anyone who needs it, but I'm not exactly qualified to help out here. Seriously. I've never, ever been able to keep a boyfriend, and most of my relationships have been pretty disastrous. So if you're planning on swinging by the Welcome Center for help of the romantic variety, you might want to rethink your options.

What I can do is tell you what not to do, okay? Here you go:

First, don't ask Penny for relationship advice.

Second, don't stalk whoever it is you're into. I'm serious about this. Even if you're a really sweet person, whoever you're stalking is gonna think that you're creepy if they catch you.

Third, don't be a total jerk. That should probably go without saying, but I've met a lot of guys who could use the reminder. Don't talk about yourself all the time, listen, and keep the conversation appropriate. So, like... don't talk about your sex life in a super-public place. That's important.

Last, don't act like someone you're not because you think you'll be more impressive that way. If the person you like can't love you for who you are, then you're probably not the best match, right?

That's all I've got. Wait--no... one more thing. Don't throw yourself at some stranger just because he stopped a runaway van from mowing you down or whatever. No one makes good decisions right after a near-death experience. Get to know people a little before deciding that you're in love with them. It'll make life a whole lot easier, I promise.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[There's no request for relationship advice (ne has nir own issues with that) but there is a visitor to the Welcome Center with quite a few roses in a rainbow of colors that ne hands over to Penny.]

Perhaps you are looking in the wrong direction.

[People don't pop in and hand Penny roses every day. She looks from the flowers to Hatter, baffled.]

Huh?

[Most are smart enough not to accept them from Hatter so it's all good, except these are actually safe for a change.]

You said you could not keep a boyfriend. Look elsewhere.

[She looks from Hatter to the roses and back, trying to determine if this is what she thinks it is.]

I'm not sure where to look.

[It is, but it's not. Sorry Penny ne's just a bit ~~confused~~ cursed.]

Then do not. More often than not it shall come to you.

[She gets that there's a curse going around. This is definitely a curse. It just about has to be.]

On second thought, maaaybe now isn't the best time to start looking. I think I'll wait.

[Which means ne just needs to do this again later uncursed. Because.

And that answer is even better.]

As you wish. It is said that when you stop looking what you were looking for is found.

Oh... kay.

[This is where she would walk away, hoping that the conversation ended politely enough. Unfortunately, Penny works here.]

Can I help you with anything?

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