dignity_misery: (i want to know how it will end)
(carolena) lady of sorrows ([personal profile] dignity_misery) wrote in [community profile] poly_chromatic2013-06-06 11:59 am
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058 x 850 // voice // but let me explain...

I would have become a slavering animal. He was all I had to keep my mind in place, and it was still deteriorating. I would have eaten him eventually. Eventually.

I decided my mind was more important than my dignity.

He decided that his art was more important than my dignity. He made the choice and I didn't kill him for it.

Because I loved him. He was all that was there to love.

I wasn't worth it anymore, rotting away and hungry for what I couldn't have.

And he never gave it. He kept me starving for him.

I should have eaten his throat out while he was sleeping.
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othersdie: shadows withering the flowers (!Multipurpose)

[personal profile] othersdie 2013-06-07 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
What prevents you from eating people now?
dignity_misery: (you're headed for)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2013-06-07 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
The virus is suppressed. [Since it's a day for explaining:] And I'm calmer.
othersdie: the low-hanging sun speckled with mystic horrors (Uneasy)

[personal profile] othersdie 2013-06-07 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
I don't understand why you didn't kill him.
dignity_misery: (well here's the consolation)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2013-06-07 01:24 am (UTC)(link)
There was nothing else tying me to humanity, without him.

[Because suddenly that mattered when infected with a mindless flesh-eating beast.]
othersdie: are you exiled in those bottomless nights? (Puzzled)

[personal profile] othersdie 2013-06-07 02:11 am (UTC)(link)
[He still doesn't understand. It seems wisest not to say so.]

He doesn't sound that human.
dignity_misery: (inside your heart it is black)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2013-06-07 03:28 pm (UTC)(link)
He was greedy.

[Which is... the root of humanity, in her opinion.]
othersdie: every moon is atrocious and every sun bitter (Underwhelmed)

[personal profile] othersdie 2013-06-08 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
But you loved him.
dignity_misery: (oh if your mind)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2013-06-08 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
He was the only one there. He... took care of me.

[Which she resents when it's offered to her now, but isolated and rotting... She had adored his caretaking.]
othersdie: as fragile as a butterfly in May (Anxious: Anywhere but up)

[personal profile] othersdie 2013-06-08 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
That's not love. That's desperation.
dignity_misery: (frozen from the failing mess)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2013-06-09 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
You don't get to decide that.
othersdie: are you exiled in those bottomless nights? (She never notices)

[personal profile] othersdie 2013-06-09 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
I suppose I don't.
dignity_misery: (i've come to burn you down)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2013-06-10 05:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I didn't love him, before I died. I didn't love anyone. He was still interesting.
othersdie: are you exiled in those bottomless nights? (Listening)

[personal profile] othersdie 2013-06-11 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
Interesting. How was he interesting?
dignity_misery: (or crash into the rocks)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2013-06-11 02:44 pm (UTC)(link)
He was arrogant and pretentious and a coward. But he was always true to himself, always himself, no compromises for anyone. I liked it. I liked pushing his buttons and making him angry.

[ 8( Barbeeeet ]
othersdie: we feel, in all of this, a certain lack (Concerned)

[personal profile] othersdie 2013-06-13 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
You have interesting taste.
dignity_misery: (will you bite the hand that feeds?)

[personal profile] dignity_misery 2013-06-17 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm very picky.

[...hahaha. And yet she's cursed, so she's not precisely lying.]
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