♦♦ 21st Contract

[mortemscintilla]

[ Just the most withering stare. ]

This isn't funny.

And I don't like cookies that much.

.................Do I?

(♥ Tabloid Trash Article: The Rise & Fall Of a Star ♥)

[ OOC: The link takes you to another journal, as the article is long and full of crack. Lots of crack. None of the fodder is meant to be taken seriously. But if any aspects are offensive, PM me and I'll add a warning or something :| ]

Comments

[onset]

M...y guess is you somehow managed to upset someone. Who - writes.

[mortemscintilla]

Someone who writes while drunk and on drugs themselves!

[ NOD NOD ]

[onset]

Obviously. And with way too much time on their hands. [he's squinting. Does he want to read through all of this? No, he doesn't think he does.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ It's better if he doesn't. There's a small fraction of truth in that drivel. ]

If wish they'd left out that shirtless picture. It's obviously doctored. [ Obviously. Right. ] But I still feel violated.

[onset]

Is there anyway we can make them, you know - take it down? All of it.

[mortemscintilla]

[ He assumes the woebegone look of one who has tried and failed. To be fair, he did try. But curses aren't known for their cooperation. ]

I wish there was. But I think it's going to stay there until midnight. [ 8( ] I just hope no one believes that stuff is true. I'm no cookie-fiend.

[onset]

Midnight is still a long way for people to take a look at it. [woe again.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ ;~~~; ]

The most I can do is hope they rely on sensibility. Then they'll see how outrageous that article is.

[ Because everyone knows people are such sensible creatures. ]

[onset]

Yes, that... that is the most you can do, isn't it.

[he doesn't sound very optimistic...]

[mortemscintilla]

[ The doldrums of doominess darken. And we could fit more alliteration here but. The point has been made. ]

I hope no girls see this. I wouldn't hit a lady because she was taking my cookies away. [ Not much, anyway. ]

[onset]

You're a gentleman, my friend.

[mortemscintilla]

[ He blushes, ] We-ell. I try. [ Lying like a lying liar who lies. ] People should never fight over food. [ Unless it's really good food. ]

[onset]

Maybe just those who want to get in touch with their more animalistic nature, then?

[mortemscintilla]

That's terrible. Human beings are [ more depraved and vicious than any animal could be ] supposed to be civilized and rational!

[ Poor Li. He has an idealistic view of humanity that his alter-ego doesn't share. ]

[onset]

Place a very large emphasis on the word supposed.

[mortemscintilla]

...I've noticed.

Even where universal truths like gravity and death are concerned. [ pauuuuuse ] But at least it's tax free.

[onset]

[Hah!] Don't say that too often, you might give people ideas.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Oh God LOOK WHAT YOU DID LI! ]

[ His eyes widen and he glances left and right skittishly. ]

D-Do you...

Honestly think the City would kidnap us and impose taxes on us? [ That is sadism. PURE SADISM!!! ]

[onset]

Anything's possible. For all we know, it could become its longest lasting curse.

[mortemscintilla]

Th-that -- [ He looks distinctly queasy. ] -- Is a very good reason we won't talk about taxes. Ever again.

[ Let us consign them into the folder of That Which Shall Not Be Named. ]