[ 98th consult | action ]

[dr_conscience]

[ Wilson hasn't been at the apartment much since the curse on the Ides of March, generally trying to avoid House (inasmuch as he can, since they do still work together). Most of his anger, though, is aimed at the City - the curse, for compelling him to keep fueling the argument. It's more difficult than usual to dismiss it, though, since everything they argued about was real. Points were made that were more uncomfortably true than he could shrug off. While the anger is primarily for the City, the guilt is all his own.

So tonight he's taking some time to think, to reflect quietly and alone as he walks through the streets. He stays in the central areas near the square, a years-old discomfort with being out alone in the City - a discomfort which is worse at night, when the streets are less populous and he can't identify threats as quickly - never entirely leaving him.

As a gust of wind grants him a nice, leftover chill from winter that lingered behind, and he finds himself ducking into a building - The Hall of the Missing.

He used to come here, sometimes, to reflect, to think back on those who have left and consider just how many he's seen come and go. It's been a long time since he had last done so, but it's warm and quiet. Idly, he wonders about his own portrait, one that he intellectually knows has appeared on these walls but which of course he's never seen himself.

He will remain for a while, before again venturing out into the night, for anyone who might happen to see him in passing. ]

Comments

[vicodincrutch]

It is going to rot more with only one body consuming the contents.

[Rather than two in the pad of doctor bachelors.]

Are you coming back or not?

[The edge is in the question because he can't play passive entirely. The only problem is that if he blows his hand, what then? Wilson could cut out. Chase has his distance. Cameron? She is the sneaky one.]

[dr_conscience]

[He hesitates, just for a moment but enough that it's noticeable. Of course he's coming back. He always comes back. The edge isn't surprising - it's more surprising that there hasn't been more of it. But, of course, he's more used to arguments they have on their own terms, not the City's. For his part, he suppresses the impulse to go passive-aggressive in his response. What is this madness.]

Yeah. I'm coming back.

[He just needed to spend some time figuring out his own guilt and trying to not make it worse.]

It's not you I'm mad at.

[vicodincrutch]

[Silence is always noticeable. House typically fills it with his own thoughts which are loud enough. Wilson's ability to be the human boomerang has been a saving grace, a certainty like the tide. Except when the world ends, so does the balance of nature.

They pretty much had full, apparent intent to stab each other. Passive-aggressive feedback is about the best that can be hoped for. House believes that he's being realistic expecting it, not pessimistic. It is realistic to consider the fact that this is where they part ways. It's pessimistic to believe it.]

Are you sure about that?

[dr_conscience]

[It's amazing they didn't actually stab each other, by Wilson's estimation. He's not sure it would make much difference if they had - part of him almost wonders if it wouldn't have been better. So outside of anything they'd ever possibly do, uncursed, that they'd be forced to simply write it off, never acknowledge it, and move on. Another item on the list of things they'd just deflect forever, leaving it to rot unresolved. What they had instead was a perfectly believable argument, one that was brought about by a curse but that could have happened under any circumstances. Too much truth to all of it.]

Do you want me to be?

[One slightly irritated sigh, for punctuation.]

The only reason we were fighting was because of a curse, and-- yes, everything we were fighting about was very much real, but it's also over. We were past all of it, until then.

[vicodincrutch]

[Being stabbed would have a physical catharsis. And a better reason for House to be doped up more so than usual. How he's been able to keep it together of his own accord has mostly been to prove Wilson wrong. An addict would lean more heavily on the dependency in a time of difficulty. House is dead solid he isn't addicted, except what good person with a problem accepts it completely?]

No. Your approach was very convincing.

[Convincing enough to take seriously and retaliate. There is no test to run to determine how much certainty was behind the curse that opened the flood gates.]

Over and past until next time? I am heavily flawed. About as much if not more so as you.

[dr_conscience]

[Establishing that they're both heavily flawed and in an endless cycle of backstabbings. That's a promising way to patch up a friendship.]

The only reason I was arguing with you at all was because of the curse, and after it I needed to take time to figure things out. I was convinced I'd make it worse, which in a way makes this nearly ironic. But feel free to chalk that up to my numerous flaws.

[Oh. That was a little passive-aggressive, wasn't it? He reigns that in before he proceeds.]

So, it's inevitable that we'll wind up at each others' throats - or backs - again? Usually I'm the one pointing out all the crap we keep putting each other through.

[vicodincrutch]

[If they can survive the truth, they can survive anything. It's as harmful and heady as anything that can be prescribed.]

Figure out things that you knew and felt. [Not a question, just a Houseian observation that he has accepted.] How could you make it worse? I'd sort of would like to be stabbed so I could compare it to being shot.

[Both would be out of the blue and something to hold over a patient's head.]

Yes, yes I think so. I have to keep track of you somehow. [Doesn't he understand?]

If you're trying to call me a chicken by presenting me with the obvious hazards.... you'll have to try harder.

[House moves the device from one ear to the other.]

There's one flaw we have in common that's that we are fascinated with lost causes.

[dr_conscience]

Yeah, things would certainly be much better right now if I had just literally stabbed my best friend. I'm sorry to have let you down like that.

[It might be better, actually, because he probably wouldn't have left, but he'll just not talk about that. And really, right now there's one thing in what House says that really stands out to him, that he needs to address.]

I don't think there's a lost cause here.

[vicodincrutch]

Let me down this time.

[For the stabbing. For otherwise? It all comes down to the fact that Wilson is here, Derjuden Maxima is in it for the long run. Whatever it is.

Friendship, Greg. That's what it is. House rubs his forehead and sighs a little.]

With so much invested... [Even he's not sure where that's going.]

So let me guess. You're probably at the Hall of Missing. If you were out at a bar, it would be louder and you'd be more entertaining to talk to.

[dr_conscience]

[One sigh of irritation. It's always a delight when House reminds him of how predictable his habits are. In another way, he doesn't mind the little hints of things being they way they're supposed to be.]

If I were out at a bar, I probably wouldn't have answered.

[For any number of reasons.]

Yes. I'm at the Hall of the Missing.

[vicodincrutch]

You answering would entirely rely on how much fun you're having on your own. If you are three sheets to the wind and buried in company that comes in D-cups not just shot glasses then I would have left a message eventually.

[The Hall of the Missing was a first guess. Why would Wilson go elsewhere.]

Are you looking for someone or trying to get lost one of these times?

[dr_conscience]

Or any number of less pleasant possibilities, but we can stick with your hypothetical.

[It sounds better than "maybe I would have been too drunk to realize what was ringing and fallen off the barstool trying to figure it out".]

I haven't been here in months, I was passing by and decided to stop in, look back on those who have managed to get out. I can't say the City's high on my list of favorite places right now.

[vicodincrutch]

[Banter is their default. This back and forth is still witted but careful, cautious. House has his own callous brand of humor that Wilson is well aware of. It doesn't feel appropriate.]

Months.

[Since the last blow. House looks cross the coffee table at the bottle of vicodin. He could. He can. But will he?]

Don't be out for long.

[dr_conscience]

[That kind of statement - don't be out long - is the sort of thing that Wilson can't do anything but read into. It stirs up worry that's always lurking there, nearly as much as if he were there to see House staring down the bottle.]

I think I've had more than enough reflecting. I'm on my way now.

[vicodincrutch]

[Just a normal dosage. That's all he wants. That's all he needs. Wilson's voice pulls him back into the moment.]

I'm ordering a pizza. I mean, since most of the things being thrown out aren't any good.

[And as a courtesy, he won't ask the cook to cook.]

[dr_conscience]

Anything I should get while I'm still out?

[ He's already walking back, now, but a detour wouldn't be a problem for him - certainly not under the circumstances, with that lingering guilt. ]