poly_chromatic | video/action;

Entry tags:

angel sanctuary - setsuna mudou

video/action;

[Filtered to Michael;]
[As he promised, Mika's first.]

Hey, Mika! Told you I'd talk again. See? It's all good now. And you are the first person who has to endure my voice after silence for so long. Don't brag about it, too much. I wouldn't blame you if you did it a little, though.
[end filter;]

[Filtered to Kira;]
Hey, Senpai, I think there's a lot we need to talk about, and I'll start with I'm sorry. [He gives the camera a very serious and ashamed look.]

I really didn't think you'd care if I couldn't talk. I'm not sorry I helped Katou, but I'm sorry it affected you like that. Everything else, I'd rather talk about in person.
[end filter;]

[Filtered to Saya;]
[He shows the window open above him, while he's seated under it. The screen shifts to just him, and Setsuna grins.]

That invitation was permanent, just so you know. But we moved, so I'll need to show you where we live now.

And thanks, for sticking by me and spending time with me even when I couldn't talk. It means a lot to me. Especially since it seems like, sometimes, we didn't need words. The only other person I felt that comfortable with was Kira. And we've known each other a very long, long time.
[end filter;]

[Filtered to Alexiel;]
Hey, Alexiel, I'd like to discuss something with you. But not on here. On a roof, or something. Why don't we get out of here and go flying for a bit?
[end filter;]

[Filtered to Karl;]
Karl, when you have some time, I'd like to talk you for a bit. Let me know when you're available, we can meet at Xanadu.
[end filter;]

[Filtered to Hatter;]
[He starts off smiling on this one.] Just so you know? No hard feelings. Don't know if I made that clear.

One thing, though. [Then he hardens, giving the screen a cold glare.] Don't ever trade something like that again. Don't let him push you into trading something important. Because if I ever see that again? I'll kill you. I won't even leave a fucking body.

Got it?

Other than that, we're good, as far as I'm concerned. [Muttering before he switches out the filter.] He's such an idiot....
[/end filter;]

[Public]

[He gives the screen a big smile.] I can talk again. So how many of you missed listening to me? It's okay to admit it.

At least, I hope some of you did, because I'm not gonna shut up for a while, not now. Not when I just got my voice back.

For starters, what was with that...rebellion? Not even sure what to call it. It was a mess, and I couldn't tell what was going on, or what I should do. At the same time we know what doesn't work, now. Keep that in mind for next time.

Next, hi, Police Force. Sorry I've been unable to do much other than take orders. Next time I'll warn you guys before I make trades like that, or something. Now I can go return to back-talking your decisions when I don't like 'em.

Oh! And everyone I kept giving two fingers to? [He raises them up.] I meant two more weeks of this. Though I kept saying that.... Even when I was still at three weeks, I think. Sorry about that. [Sheepish grin.]

I met this cute little girl on the beach that talked with me while I was petting Naga. Jinora, I think her name was? Hi, Jinora. [He waves to the screen.] My actual name is Setsuna. You sounded like you know Naga.

Anything else.... [He thinks about that for a moment, then shrugs.] Guess that's everything. See you around! [Click.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[His annoyed fervor remains, though he doesn't yell, his tone remains demanding. Setsuna even starts to tighten his hands into fists, and gestures with them.]

So what makes you one? You keep saying that, but you don't offer any proof.

Do you go around killing people for fun? Rip off arms and heads and laugh while you do it?

[He slams a hand, flat and hard, against his chest.] Even I've killed people, Saya!

[She opens her mouth, then closes it. Her trysts with Karl certainly are part of the argument, or more accurately the way she feels when she's with him, but she doesn't want to even try to explain that.]

I don't need proof. I just know it. I feel it. When I get my memories back, they'll be full of death and suffering. [How could they be anything less?]

[And Setsuna continues on, anyway.]

Saya, what do you think my memories are full of? Most of my recent ones, and the ones from Alexiel's life? Those are full of death and blood.

But you still think I'm not a monster, and you are?

Stop trying to talk me out of this. [She's getting a little desperate now, because comparing the two of them isn't fair in any way.] If I start believing I'm not and I loosen my grip just a little then I'll be just like them.

Why do you think that? Why is that all it would take for you to be like them?

I don't want to talk about this anymore. [Flat and cold, she turns back to the window. Maybe she should just go.]

[Distraught, by the conversation, and her desire to suddenly end it - was this one of those times you're not supposed to let it drop? - he runs a hand through his hair.]

Okay...but why not? Do you want to be seen as a monster?

Maybe. [She's still not looking at him, but she does tense up substantially.] I don't want to get too relaxed and cause more people to get hurt.

[He's slow about it, but does reach out to hold her.]

What do you mean? Who got hurt?

[Saya doesn't squirm away from the embrace, but she doesn't do much more than stand there.]

I don't know. But I remember running from person to person, just cutting them down as they screamed and ran away. They didn't even have weapons... Karl says that's who I really am.

[The lack of reaction to his embrace is a little unsettling, but he has little time to notice it. He stiffens for a moment as she speaks, then his expression softens.]

Saya, this is Karl you're talking about. He doesn't say everything for anyone's benefit. A lot of what he says is for his. Haven't you figured that out by now?

I know that. But this... it really happened. I really did those things. Nothing can change that.

[She's unnaturally still up until she moves to step away from him.] I should go.

[He shakes his head.] It's not that I doubt they happened. But since he's saying that's the real you, that's where I have my doubts. You're not like that. And what if he's leaving out details?

[Another shake.] Why? Would you like to hear about Alexiel instead of talk about this? [Not that the topic was very different, which is why he thought of Alexiel again.]

[Alexiel, that's the name Kira mentioned to her. And for whatever reason her indignation flares at the sound of it.]

Stop it. [Her voice is forceful, but quietly so. Sad rather than angry.] It doesn't matter what bad things you did, or this Alexiel did, or what Karl says or anything else. It's not something you can talk me out of.

[He sighs, trying to expel his frustration.]

It just sounds like you think we're so different....

[She just can't even believe the way this conversation has gone.] What are we doing, Setsuna? You try to convince me your own death is no big deal, and the next breath you're hellbent on making me feel good about what I am and telling me I deserve better than you.

I don't understand any of this. Why can't I be sad about you dying? Why can't I feel bad about bad things I did? Why shouldn't you be good enough for me to love?

Do you still think of me as that helpless girl you found in the zoo? Are you so hellbent on saving me that you can't see the real me?

Hold on. [He has to put his hand out, too many thoughts brought to surface after she speaks.]

The death thing? I was gonna make light of it no matter what. You can feel sad if you want to, but I'm not trying to convince you anything there. It's not a big deal to me. I died, I came back, it's done.

But if it upsets you, you can be upset about it. I'm just sorry it made you sad.

And feeling bad about the things you did isn't the same thing as thinking you're a monster. Feeling guilt over your wrongs separates you from what an actual monster is.

[He can't answer the last part, not easily, not right away. She might be right. Maybe he did see her that way. And she really wasn't that girl anymore, was she?]

You might be right. But are you seeing the real me?

[Saya shakes her head in hash denial at the unspoken accusation. Sure, maybe she needs him desperately because she just doesn't have anyone else, but that's not the same thing, it's not.]

You're there for me when no one else is. You make me happy when no one else can. I miss you when you're gone. Isn't that enough?

[She can't remember ever loving anyone before -- that particular void in her memories is heavier than the rest, but still a void. But that doesn't mean she doesn't know how. Does it?]

Happy, huh?

[He isn't sure he's following Saya's trail here, but he lets that go in favor of something more important.] Seems like I haven't made you happy in a while, actually.

That's because I know you don't want what I want. [And they've come full circle. It was probably inevitable, given how her feelings for him inevitably seep out of her no matter how tightly she tries to hold them in] And I'm trying to be okay with that, because I don't want to lose you.

But it... hurts.

Saya, wait.

What is it you want. Because this is news to me. And I'm confused. [Which is neither new, or hard to do.]

[She knows she should feel badly about making him pity her, but some bit of Saya feels almost vindicated. Maybe she'd happy with pity, if that's the best she can get.]

I want you to look at me the way you did when you thought I was Sara. I want you to touch me the way you did that night, without needing the curse to make you want to.

[I want to be the most important person in your life. That one, though, she can't say aloud. Not because she wants to spare him hearing it or because she knows it's unfair, but because she somehow knows that's Haji's role and she won't let anyone else have it, not ever, and she doesn't care what kind of hypocrite that makes her.]

[The way when he thought she was Sara. Oh. Oh. His eyes widen, stinging.]

It's.... That's not so simple as I don't want it. If I could, I'd want it, too. Just to have that again. It's nice.

But the love I have for her isn't anything I can have for anyone else. Not like that.

I know. [There's only them smallest twinge of frustration there, but a lot of emphasis. How many times has she said during this conversation that she knows he doesn't love her like that? But he asked what she wanted... and yet again he's arguing with her answer.]

I'm not trying to force you. [~~although part of her, some small part, like that idea~~] I don't want to make you feel guilty about it or... anything else. Maybe I'm not very good at this, but I'm doing the best I can.

[He's quiet for a while. She wants something he can't give, but she's trying to be understanding about it, but she's not happy anymore. That doesn't seem healthy.]

Is this good for us?