personal log stardate -309858.7805048198

[universaltranslator]

[voice]
[By all rights, this should be filtered, but somebody's too crampy to care]

Penny, sorry for the late notice. I won't be able to make it to the Welcome Center today.

[She tries her best to stifle a groan as she's abruptly hit with sucker punch from Mother Nature]

And can you recommend a doctor?

Comments

voice;

[anunluckypenny]

Not a problem.

What kind of doctor? ['Cause if this is what she thinks it is, the only doctors Uhura needs are Dr. Midol and Dr. Chocolate.)

voice;

[universaltranslator]

[oh man she answered fast. Uhura had been hoping to sleep through the pain, but for some strange reason, the pain was making it hard to sleep]

The kind that can get me back on birth control.

voice;

[anunluckypenny]

Basically anyone who's not Dr. House. I mean, I'm sure he could do that, but you'd probably have to put up with some misogyny.

voice;

[universaltranslator]

[Yeah, that shit don't fly with Uhura. Not under normal circumstances and certainly not while her body is staging a revolt.]

Who's that one doctor you really like? Dr. Chase?

voice; bwahaha

[conglomeration]

[Somewhat alarmed over here, being as poorly versed in female physiology as he is!] I'm not a medic, but I have healing magic. What's the matter? Are you hurt? [And why are you concerned about your job when you sound like you're going to DIE, silly woman?]

voice; ahahaa poor zel

[universaltranslator]

[Awww how sweet of you to worry. Though she doubts Zel's magic can help.]

My birth control implant expired. [ow ow ow ow ow] I think my body is getting revenge for three years of missed menstrual cycles.

[Her voice, while pained, is casual. Talking about birth control with a man ain't no thang.]

voice; 1/2

[conglomeration]

[...]

[...]

[did she just seriously say]

[Pardon him. He might have swallowed his tongue or perhaps broken a few essential neutral pathways.]

[conglomeration]

[It is so, so good this is not video, because he is as red as a tomato. Zelgadis clears his throat and makes every attempt to not sound like he's dying of humiliation. It's not very effective.] ...Oh. I, um... see.

I didn't mean to bother you! [Hurriedly! And then all of a sudden, stammering again.] My healing spells are pretty general but... uh. It you're in pain, I don't mind... trying...

[DEAR GODS IS HE REALLY OFFERING TO DISCUSS THIS FURTHER. That's it, the final straw, he's gone unarguably stark raving mad. If Lina where here he'd be a smoking crater by now!]

[why hasn't he disconnected yet]

[universaltranslator]

[Don't laugh don't laugh okay she might have giggled a bit and then regretted it because pain]

If you don't mind. I took a Midol two hours ago and it still hasn't kicked in. [She feels like she's living in the Stone Age. Modern medicine, how she misses you!]

[voice;]

[withloadedguns]

You all right?

[He figures she actually got herself hurt.]

[voice;]

[universaltranslator]

I will be. It's just three days. [ooooowwwwwwwwwwww paaaaaaaaaaaaain] Maybe four.

[voice;]

[withloadedguns]

Yeah?

How long for him? Three or four days too?

[Seriously, he's figuring it's a bruise or, more likely, a sprained wrist from having punched someone out.]

[voice;]

[universaltranslator]

Who?

[If she wasn't in so much pain right now, she'd realize that the Cowboy doesn't actually understand what's going on. As it is, she's the only one confused.]

action;

[candothat]

[After reading this, Chekov is just going to go find Uhura himself and assess her condition. He's working from home this week in an attempt to figure out what to do with the things Sophie and Howl left behind.

He will approach with caution. Injured women can be very dangerous.]

Is there something you would like me to do?

action;

[universaltranslator]

[There's only a little bit of a whine in her voice]

Other than waving a magic wand and making the pain go away? [Oh crap, she probably shouldn't have mentioned magic. Chekov is still pretty upset by Howl and Sophie being gone.]

Do we have any red wine?

action;

[candothat]

[It's okay, he's not a delicate flower that will wilt every time his missing surrogate family is mentioned.]

No, but I can get that. [WAIT. He knows this one!] Is it menstrual pain? Lucy treats hers with a hot water bottle.

[orangetoughguy]

What happened?

[universaltranslator]

You're not another one of those guys who freaks out when women talk about their health, are you?

[orangetoughguy]

No way no how. I've got nerves of steel.

[mightbeconcussed]

Mmmm. Not a huge doctor person. I mean going. What kind of doctor?

[universaltranslator]

If you had my menstrual cramps, you'd want a doctor too.

[mightbeconcussed]

Oh! Lots of chocolate and Midol? Plus a heating pad or hot water bottle.

→ VIDEO

[intheblanks]

You might have meant to send this direct, but if you don't mind me preempting a recommendation...

...Everything all right?

→ VIDEO

[universaltranslator]

You're a doctor?

[SWEET RELIEF]

My birth control implant has expired. My body is making up for three years of missed periods.

→ VIDEO

[intheblanks]

Sounds messy.

It's easily fixed, but you'll need to come in for a check up and an exam before we fit a new one.