personal log stardate -309858.7805048198

[universaltranslator]

[voice]
[By all rights, this should be filtered, but somebody's too crampy to care]

Penny, sorry for the late notice. I won't be able to make it to the Welcome Center today.

[She tries her best to stifle a groan as she's abruptly hit with sucker punch from Mother Nature]

And can you recommend a doctor?

Comments

voice;

[anunluckypenny]

Not a problem.

What kind of doctor? ['Cause if this is what she thinks it is, the only doctors Uhura needs are Dr. Midol and Dr. Chocolate.)

voice; bwahaha

[conglomeration]

[Somewhat alarmed over here, being as poorly versed in female physiology as he is!] I'm not a medic, but I have healing magic. What's the matter? Are you hurt? [And why are you concerned about your job when you sound like you're going to DIE, silly woman?]

[voice;]

[withloadedguns]

You all right?

[He figures she actually got herself hurt.]

voice;

[universaltranslator]

[oh man she answered fast. Uhura had been hoping to sleep through the pain, but for some strange reason, the pain was making it hard to sleep]

The kind that can get me back on birth control.

voice; ahahaa poor zel

[universaltranslator]

[Awww how sweet of you to worry. Though she doubts Zel's magic can help.]

My birth control implant expired. [ow ow ow ow ow] I think my body is getting revenge for three years of missed menstrual cycles.

[Her voice, while pained, is casual. Talking about birth control with a man ain't no thang.]

[voice;]

[universaltranslator]

I will be. It's just three days. [ooooowwwwwwwwwwww paaaaaaaaaaaaain] Maybe four.

voice;

[anunluckypenny]

Basically anyone who's not Dr. House. I mean, I'm sure he could do that, but you'd probably have to put up with some misogyny.

voice; 1/2

[conglomeration]

[...]

[...]

[did she just seriously say]

[Pardon him. He might have swallowed his tongue or perhaps broken a few essential neutral pathways.]

[voice;]

[withloadedguns]

Yeah?

How long for him? Three or four days too?

[Seriously, he's figuring it's a bruise or, more likely, a sprained wrist from having punched someone out.]

[conglomeration]

[It is so, so good this is not video, because he is as red as a tomato. Zelgadis clears his throat and makes every attempt to not sound like he's dying of humiliation. It's not very effective.] ...Oh. I, um... see.

I didn't mean to bother you! [Hurriedly! And then all of a sudden, stammering again.] My healing spells are pretty general but... uh. It you're in pain, I don't mind... trying...

[DEAR GODS IS HE REALLY OFFERING TO DISCUSS THIS FURTHER. That's it, the final straw, he's gone unarguably stark raving mad. If Lina where here he'd be a smoking crater by now!]

[why hasn't he disconnected yet]

action;

[candothat]

[After reading this, Chekov is just going to go find Uhura himself and assess her condition. He's working from home this week in an attempt to figure out what to do with the things Sophie and Howl left behind.

He will approach with caution. Injured women can be very dangerous.]

Is there something you would like me to do?

voice;

[universaltranslator]

[Yeah, that shit don't fly with Uhura. Not under normal circumstances and certainly not while her body is staging a revolt.]

Who's that one doctor you really like? Dr. Chase?

[voice;]

[universaltranslator]

Who?

[If she wasn't in so much pain right now, she'd realize that the Cowboy doesn't actually understand what's going on. As it is, she's the only one confused.]

[universaltranslator]

[Don't laugh don't laugh okay she might have giggled a bit and then regretted it because pain]

If you don't mind. I took a Midol two hours ago and it still hasn't kicked in. [She feels like she's living in the Stone Age. Modern medicine, how she misses you!]

action;

[universaltranslator]

[There's only a little bit of a whine in her voice]

Other than waving a magic wand and making the pain go away? [Oh crap, she probably shouldn't have mentioned magic. Chekov is still pretty upset by Howl and Sophie being gone.]

Do we have any red wine?

voice;

[anunluckypenny]

[If Penny wasn't super dead, she'd be blushing.]

Yeah, that's the one. Oh, but Wilson's amazing, too. He's basically my best friend ever.

[You know, after the sex thing didn't work out. Whereas the sex thing seems to work just fine with Chase, so.]

action;

[candothat]

[It's okay, he's not a delicate flower that will wilt every time his missing surrogate family is mentioned.]

No, but I can get that. [WAIT. He knows this one!] Is it menstrual pain? Lucy treats hers with a hot water bottle.

[voice;]

[withloadedguns]

I figured if you got hurt, someone else got hurt. Worse.

voice;

[universaltranslator]

Does he make housecalls? [dryly]

action;

[universaltranslator]

[She grins weakly and pulls out the hot water bottle she's already curled up around]

Could you reheat this while you're at it?

[voice;]

[universaltranslator]

[it takes her another moment before realization hits]

Oh, no. Not this time. It's just menstrual cramps.

action;

[candothat]

Of course, yes.

[He takes it and scampers off to reheat. He is nothing if not trainable.]

voice;

[anunluckypenny]

He would. [sincerely]

[conglomeration]

[Stone Age, huh. Another idiom he does not love, especially being from what she would consider the distant past.]

[Once again, her utter calmness prevents him from going too far off the reservation with his nerves.]

Medicine? [He considers that for a moment. But it shouldn't interfere with his magic.] I can try anyway. You'll know instantly if it helps.

Send me the address and I'll be over. Quickly, I promise. [Dryly, since her cursed self had been pretty irritable about his timing. And she's already seen him, so no need to dawdle out of anxiety.]

[orangetoughguy]

What happened?