poly_chromatic | [video]

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mister boots - bobby lassiter

[video]

[Bobby is stretched out on her stomach on the floor. Her device is propped up next to her recording, but she so could not miss showing this.

On the floor in front of her is a tiny, miniaturized House Hippo, about three inches long in total. Bobby has a plate with several slices of toast and peanut butter on them, and is carefully tearing off small pieces at a time and placing them on the floor in front of the hippo, who is eating them all cheerfully.]

I found him in my socks this morning. They like peanut butter.

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You name him yet? [ Because kids with animals? Weakness. ]

Yes. He's called Roger.

Roger's a good name. I ain't ever seen a hippo that small before. You?

No I don't think we have them in California.

Not in New York either. Must be a City thing.

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Aww, he's cute.

Good thing your toaster is working again.

Yes. His name is Roger. I had to shot the door because I don't want the dogs to eat him.

Good name. And, yeah, you wouldn't want that. I don't think he'd even make a mouthful for the dogs anyway. Nobody'd be happy. Least of all Roger.

[She gives Roger a few more crumbs and he yawns impressively.]

I think he's making a nest in my closet.

I hope Roger doesn't turn out to be a Regina. You might get hippo eggs in your closet.

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I'd ask if that was a hippopotamus, but I've seen enough network videos that I don't have to.

[Tell a kid that she can't have a tiny hippo? As if.]

You should see if it likes swimming, but be careful.

Can we put him in the bathtub?

Why don't you start with a bowl first?

I just need to make sure the dogs don't get in my room if I leave, I'm worried they might eat him.

I'll see come by later and put them in my room after I walk them.

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The couple around my place seem to like bananas.

I'll try that next.

They're cute aren't they?

Yes I wish I could keep him.

I wonder if they'd actually make good pets or not.

[Says the guy with zombie rats.]

Seems like they'll eat just about anything.

No he didn't like strawberries.

Really? The one I found is trying to eat my clothes...

That's because they makes nests from cloth and things.

I'm not sure I want it chewing up everything in sight.

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