poly_chromatic | [video]

Entry tags:

murder by numbers - justin pendleton

[video]

[This is Justin making a post. Reluctantly. If there weren't people he hopes to see again, he would happily spend the day in his room with his cat and a book. As it is, he's in the garden with his cat and a book.]

For those of you who are new to the City, don't panic. This happens periodically. It's temporary. Anyone who arrived today and hasn't been here before: Don't panic. You'll go home soon.

"Don't panic" is actually the best advice I have.

If you're looking for me, I'll be in Xanadu.

[Private to Ken Ichijouji]

I'd like to discuss something with you, please.

[ooc: Anything goes! Replies may be sporadic due to NaNo.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And you traded something that important away--temporarily--for my life.

[...]

Why?

It is important.... But I can't do much with it here. Not without my partner. And whatever I traded needed to be of equal value. It's not really equal to your life, but they accepted the trade.

Regardless, you shouldn't have made a trade like that.

...But thank you.

...why not?

[He blushes a little, not having expected that. But he looks worried, still.]

It's not worth it.

That's not true!

Everyone's life is worth something. And it was worth it to me.

Then thank you.

[He still doesn't approve, but he can't exactly scold Ken now.]

I'm sorry, though. If it upset you. That wasn't my intention.

No, I'm not-- [wait] I am, but not at you. I don't know if that makes sense.

It makes sense. But even if it's not at me...I didn't want to inconvenience you, or upset you at all.

[He almost laughs. Almost. Except laughing isn't a thing he does.]

Ken. You gave me my life back. You didn't do anything wrong.

But you are upset. It bothers you?

I just don't understand why. Don't worry.

You don't have anyone you would do the same for?

[He nods slowly. There aren't many people he'd go to the deities for, but he'd trade just about anything for them.]

Does it mean that much to you? That I'm alive?

Yes. There aren't too many people that have shown me kindness since my arrival here that are still around. But you're definitely one of them. You always seem to be looking out for me, or my well-being.

It's not... [how to explain this] I don't do that, usually--look out for people. But you remind me of me, when I was younger.

I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did.

[Even knowing that doesn't change anything. If anything, Ken feels even more touched.]

What mistakes are those?

Taking life too seriously, for one. That's a good way to miss things. Taking ideas seriously... until they're all you have, and people start looking less like people and more like pawns.

[He can't believe he's trying to give life advice to Ken. Like Justin's qualified to talk about good life choices.]

Don't let yourself stay miserable, I guess. I don't think you'll have trouble with that, but I'm still trying to learn.

...I'm afraid that's a mistake I've already made. I mean, I'm learning to take life less seriously. And I'm learning how good friends are. But I already played with people and Digimon alike as pawns.

[It hurts to admit that, that he's been a horrible person in the past, but it's almost easy to tell it to Justin, now.]

I'm actually pretty happy here. And if you want help learning that, I could try to help.

Then you already know not to do that again.

[Justin still doesn't know exactly what Digimon are. For the purpose of not appearing ignorant, he doesn't mention this. What Ken's saying is clear enough without knowing, anyway.]

I don't know if that's something that can be taught.

Yes, I do. It's something I would never do again.

...you're probably right. But it's still something I could share, isn't it? At least, I'm happier when I'm around people I trust and like.

If you wanted to share...

[Justin realizes that he falls into that "trust and like" category. He's not quite sure what to do with that knowledge.]

You're a good person, whatever mistakes you've made.

Of course I want to share.

[That was said with a smile, but then Ken's expression changes to surprise, and a light blush.]

I.... I don't know if I am or not. But I'm trying my best to be one.

Thank you.

The most you can do is try.

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