poly_chromatic | 02 / video

02 / video

[The video feed shows two men - the Master and the Doctor, specifically - in a cage together, though it might be hard to recognise them at first, since they're both wearing some weird-looking robes (complete with elaborate headdress). The robes, however, have been slightly adapted to allow for the fact that the two of them have been sewn together at the side, from just under their arms, all the way down to their hip.

The Master, unsurprisingly, appears to be rather unhappy about this development. First he tries to pull away from the Doctor, pushing and hitting at him in a frenzy - and when that doesn't work, he opts to just glare at him from under his dorky headdress. As the Master struggles, there's narration coming from someone just offscreen.]

Just look at the fight in these two! With that kind of struggle, it's not hard to see why they're the last two of their species. That's right, we've got a special treat for you today. All the way from Gallifrey, a planet destroyed in the final battle of the Last Great Time War, we bring you the last of the Time Lords!

We've brought two old enemies together for you - no more running, no more hiding, just the two of them, bound forever! One's a villain, one's a hero - but which one is really which, in the end? Which one's killed more species than you can possibly imagine, including his own? The answer might surprise you! These two are killers, through and through! Come on down and watch the show, because it's bound to be fantastic!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[The Master is definitely sulking enough for the both of them right now.]

No.

[Yes, he has, he's just being a twat.]

Well, all right. Instead of doing anything useful you can continue to kick up a storm like a child. That do?

[ Well.

Someone's not a happy bunny today. But instead of saying anything more he simply looks down at their clothes. He hasn't seen anything like this since --. ] I wonder where they even got these.

[The Master has not been a happy bunny for centuries, jeez. He eats happy bunnies for breakfast, or possibly teatime snacks. At least he hasn't punched the Doctor yet, even though he's been sorely tempted to do so.]

They probably made them from some drapes. God, I hate these stupid headdresses, though. Who thought they were a good idea? [Siiiigh. His life is so hard.] You don't have your screwdriver on you, do you?

No.

[ Disgruntled. ] It was in my jacket and they've taken that. Presumably emptied the pockets too. I do hate nosy circus dwellers.

[ If only he could be as angry as the Master. ] This has been going on for days with no rhyme or reason, what's the point behind all of this?

I figured, but I thought I'd check.

Don't know, but it seems like the sort of thing that's right up your alley. In terms of meddling, that is, not the actual process of sewing people together. Do you reckon I could convince the sword-swallower to lend me a sword? And by convince, I mostly mean hypnotise.

[ With a huff of breath. ] If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not be forced to regenerate here in this cage. [ So don't go trying to cut yourself free, Master.

He tries to move off to the side of the cage then seems to realise he can't while stuck. ] Oh wonderful, we need team work. [ :| ]

[The Master suddenly grins brightly at the Doctor.] It's either that or being eaten once I start feeling hungry! And from what I hear, being cut apart doesn't kill you, so stop being such a wimp.

[Ugh, teamwork. The Master makes a face at this.] All right, fine, what did you have in mind?

[ He could reach out and touch him like this and no one would be able to stop him. But the curse, the Master's appearance here, it's all dragging along the back of the Doctor's mind. He can't afford to be sentimental. ]

I wouldn't taste very nice. [ Glancing over at the cage. ] We could see about picking the lock? At least then we wouldn't be stuck in here.

At least you aren't as bony as your last regeneration. [The Master folds his arms over his chest, irritated that the Doctor didn't rise to the bait as easily as last time.] I had the same thought, actually. We just need to find something suitable to use as a lockpick.

[ Pulling his headdress off. Or trying to anyway. ]

Maybe there's something sharp in this, like a pin or -. [ Or he could just get stuck. That too. ]

Of all the people I could have been sewn to, they had to pick an idiot. [You can't see him, but he's totally rolling his eyes right now. He reaches over and twists the headdress around, trying to pull it off, but probably just makes things worse.]

[ Eventually he just yanks it until it falls to the ground because the Master is not helping. It means his hair's pretty epic and hat-y but at least now he can --. ]

You need to duck down so I can look inside this for something to use.

Your hair looks ridiculous. [This from the guy who's obviously been sleeping on the street since he came to the City and still has stupid blond hair and a beard.

...but he bends down anyway. Enjoy your cooperation while it lasts, because you aren't going to see it again, like, ever.]

From what I understand, our options are either cutting us apart or figuring out our common thread. Personally, I'm leaning towards the cutting apart.

No.

[ Pulling a face as he tugs apart the headdress. ] Oh this is no good. [ Common thread, common thread. ] We're both Time Lords?

That would be the obvious answer, considering that they so kindly pointed it out for us. [He tries to move away from the Doctor, but obviously fails.] Unfortunately, it's not the correct one.

Yes, thanks for that. [ :| You are very unhelpful right now. ] I don't understand what possible joy they could get from this.

[It's the Master, when is he ever helpful?] Oh, I don't know, I would find it entertaining if I hadn't been forced to be part of it. The common thread bit just makes it sound like an irritating lesson on morality or friendship or something else that's similarly stupid, though.

Well, that's wonderful. It looks like we'll never get free then. [ Because the Master isn't keen on morality. ]

[FINALLY you notice that. Took you long enough.] That's why I suggested cutting us apart, you dolt.

[ Flailing so much he pretty much hits the Master in the stomach. ] How is that a better plan?

[He pushes the Doctor's arm away after he hits him, frowning at him.] It's certainly more expedient than sitting here and trying to figure it out.

Well, for one thing we'd still have to get out of the bloody cage. [ Which the Master has made no point in trying to help, so. ]

[He rolls his eyes and pulls off his own headdress - without any trouble, because he's just that much cooler than the Doctor - and starts feeling around for something useable.] When's the last time you actually picked a lock without your screwdriver, anyway?

[ A long time ago. ]

There's nothing wrong with using the screwdriver.

Luckily, some of us cultivate non-screwdriver-related skills. [He pulls what looks like a pin out, eyeing it critically.] Here we go, let's have a crack at that lock.

02 / video

OMG STOP FAILING no j/k ilu

NO I CAN'T. FAILING IS MY LIFE NOW.

WELL YOU DO PLAY THE DOCTOR, I SUPPOSE IT IS APPROPRIATE

HEY. HE RESENTS THAT. HE'S BRILLIANT.

BRILLIANT AT RUINING EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES, YOU MEAN.

/LAYS DEADLY HANDS ALL OVER THE MASTER SO THERE.

NOW WE KNOW THE REAL REASON WHY HE DIED IN THE DOCTOR'S ARMS

because the Doctor bad touched him. B|

he just wanted to be the ONLY TIME LORD LEFT for maximum angst purposes

YEAH GET OUT MASTER YOUR RUINING HIS LINE TO PICK UP WOMEN.

go cry in the rain or something :|

it's not raining, god.

you have a time machine, use it to travel in time to a rainy night.

but why.

to turn the angst UP TO ELEVEN, DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE

sdfghjkl the only plausable angst rating.

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