02 / video

[worstretconever]

[The video feed shows two men - the Master and the Doctor, specifically - in a cage together, though it might be hard to recognise them at first, since they're both wearing some weird-looking robes (complete with elaborate headdress). The robes, however, have been slightly adapted to allow for the fact that the two of them have been sewn together at the side, from just under their arms, all the way down to their hip.

The Master, unsurprisingly, appears to be rather unhappy about this development. First he tries to pull away from the Doctor, pushing and hitting at him in a frenzy - and when that doesn't work, he opts to just glare at him from under his dorky headdress. As the Master struggles, there's narration coming from someone just offscreen.]

Just look at the fight in these two! With that kind of struggle, it's not hard to see why they're the last two of their species. That's right, we've got a special treat for you today. All the way from Gallifrey, a planet destroyed in the final battle of the Last Great Time War, we bring you the last of the Time Lords!

We've brought two old enemies together for you - no more running, no more hiding, just the two of them, bound forever! One's a villain, one's a hero - but which one is really which, in the end? Which one's killed more species than you can possibly imagine, including his own? The answer might surprise you! These two are killers, through and through! Come on down and watch the show, because it's bound to be fantastic!

Comments

[headofoperations]

Bravo! Bravo!

[worstretconever]

[There's a dangerous glint in the Master's eye when he responds.] You'd better hide once I get out of here.

[headofoperations]

Yes, give us a chase. Show us your ferocity.

[valentineluke]

[Not happy to see Master in this predicament.]

Mr. Saxon.

[worstretconever]

[Nobody is unhappier about this than the Master.]

These curses are rather inconvenient, aren't they?

(Filtered)

[valentineluke]

Have your screwdriver?

Re: (Filtered)

[worstretconever]

If I did, I'd be out of here and separated from this idiot already.

Re: (Filtered)

[valentineluke]

Checked him for his?

[infernoandhearth]

[Luke has turned very red in a struggle not to laugh.]

I do like your hats.

[worstretconever]

[You are so not helping, Luke.]

I'm pretty sure traditional Time Lord formal robes are part of the reason why I left Gallifrey in the first place.

[infernoandhearth]

Oh, so would I, it's dreadful, look at that. Lords of time and not of fashion, clearly. Have you need of a way out?

[worstretconever]

They wouldn't know a decent suit if it bit them in the - well, never mind. Yes, I am. Preferably to be followed shortly thereafter by a Doctor-ectomy. If I have to spend too much time attached to him, I'll end up being the only Time Lord.

[infernoandhearth]

Oh, well, the Doctor-ectomy will only work if you find out the exact right thing you have in common, and then possibly talk it out. I'm not certain. I was on rather a lot of painkillers at the time. You might cut yourself apart but it won't heal until you do.

I need to get everyone out, you see. Serrure and I intend to raze the place as soon as we have.

audio

[doeswhathewants]

Bound to be fantastic. Puns are wonderful.

I WISH I HAD DONE THAT ON PURPOSE

[worstretconever]

Somehow, I'm really failing to see the humour in this situation.

AHAHA best accidental pun ever <3

[doeswhathewants]

Believe me, I was in your situation. One must see the humor in things or one is simply left with chunks missing and bloody buttocks.

[worstretconever]

...bloody buttocks? How...no, never mind, I don't want to know.

[doeswhathewants]

Sewn together. My butt, his shoulders.

So, really, you ought to look on the bright side. It could have been worse. And far more awkward.

video;

[majorcrotchgrab]

[lol totally ignoring the entire post. HE SAW MASTER. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS]

M... Master? You're back..!

[worstretconever]

[Apparently he left quite a few fans on his previous visit to the City. Which is only natural, being the awesome person that he is and all.]

Yes, I am. And sewn to an absolute blithering idiot.

video;

[majorcrotchgrab]

... Yes, I can see that. I'm quite sorry. That's no way to return to the City.

so I got sick and passed out oops I am sorry.

[verylast]

Have you calmed down yet?

[ It's almost a little dark, would be sulky under any other circumstance. The Master's fury is something to behold but right now he doesn't really want to deal with it. They're sewn together, he has priorities. ]

OMG STOP FAILING no j/k ilu

[worstretconever]

[The Master is definitely sulking enough for the both of them right now.]

No.

[Yes, he has, he's just being a twat.]

NO I CAN'T. FAILING IS MY LIFE NOW.

[verylast]

Well, all right. Instead of doing anything useful you can continue to kick up a storm like a child. That do?

[ Well.

Someone's not a happy bunny today. But instead of saying anything more he simply looks down at their clothes. He hasn't seen anything like this since --. ] I wonder where they even got these.

WELL YOU DO PLAY THE DOCTOR, I SUPPOSE IT IS APPROPRIATE

[worstretconever]

[The Master has not been a happy bunny for centuries, jeez. He eats happy bunnies for breakfast, or possibly teatime snacks. At least he hasn't punched the Doctor yet, even though he's been sorely tempted to do so.]

They probably made them from some drapes. God, I hate these stupid headdresses, though. Who thought they were a good idea? [Siiiigh. His life is so hard.] You don't have your screwdriver on you, do you?