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[whitetwoguns]

 voice;

I dunno if there's a way to filter out age sensitive material and make sure kid's don't hear anything so I'll say this: if you can't go to any PG-13 movies scram.

[He'll wait a few seconds. And yes, Mr. White. There is a way. His filtering skills are only exclusive to private messaging. So sue him. Mr. White clears his throat.]

Are we good? [Like anyone can answer, White.] Okay.

I heard this one at the barber's. A man steps into a watch shop and he takes one look at the hot young thing working the joint and he plops his penis right there on the counter. The lady is aghast. 

"Sir! Sir!" [The intonation of his voice goes up a pitch to imitate.] "This is a watch store! You can't just show your dick like that, it is inappropriate!"

[Right back he goes to his average tone.]  So the man says to her, "What? All I want a pair of a hands and a face on this."

Comments

[orangetoughguy]

[Wishing he thought of it first.]

[whitetwoguns]

You heard that one though, right?

[studmuffin]

[ Okay, that one was priceless. ]

I didn't know the City had ocmedy hour.

[whitetwoguns]

So now you do. What you got?

[trenchknives]

[He's just going to be over here laughing.]

I dunno what inspired ya to tell that to everyone, but I'm glad ya did.

[whitetwoguns]

Everybody deserves a laugh. And I really think that one's worth passing around.

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

Nice one.

[She was raised on John Woo films. This is not going to phase her in the least. And she's laughing.]

[whitetwoguns]

[Well shit. Even if she is laughing he still feels bad about it.]

That's not supposed to be for your kinda ears, honey.

[dignity_misery]

[She really hates you for making her laugh right now, White.]

[whitetwoguns]

You're welcome.

[skintoskin]

Oh my fuckin' god, that's priceless!

[whitetwoguns]

I know! Not much to remember and long enough as far as jokes go.

[synanthrope]

That's not very plausible.

[whitetwoguns]

How do you figure? Sounds plenty plausible. There are a lotta assholes around.

[withloadedguns]

Don't think I've heard that one before.

[whitetwoguns]

It's my pleasure to oblige.

[Talking to the stranger about dick inadvertently. Oh fuck.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ SOB SOB HIS EARS. ]

Not that the levity isn't appreciated [ It is. Or would be, if he had a sense of humor ] but I'm pretty sure a few kids heard you.

[whitetwoguns]

...Yeah. At least one little lady said something. She found it funny but I don't think all of em will.

Can't say I didn't try.

[worldofourown]

So what's the moral of the story?

He gets his clock cleaned?

[whitetwoguns]

Man can't be expected to be content when they beat the clock.

video;

[universaltranslator]

A woman comes into a hardware store.

"May I help you ma'am?"

"Yes, please, I need a three inch door hinge."

"Do you wanna screw for it?"

"No thanks," she responds, "but I'll blow you for that clock radio over there."

video;

[whitetwoguns]

[Knee slapper. No. Really. He gets a kick that she just went for it right there like that.]

Fuck. That's a good one. I'll keep that one.

video;

[candothat]

[Chekov might be a smart kid, but there are still certain... things that have thus far eluded him. White's joke, therefore, has gone largely uncomprehended (or, at least, the desirability of a hand and face of the watch-variety on one's member has escaped him). Really, he wouldn't say anything at all if his superior officer hadn't responded in kind.]

I don't believe I understand the punchline.

video;

[whitetwoguns]

[He laughs because it's gotta be a joke right? ...Right? Oh. Ahem. Mr. White rubs his smirk and chin too as he tries to get a grip.]

How uh...how about you picture it? The lady's gonna put her hands and such on his piece.

video;

[hexappeal]

But did it work?