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[doeswhathewants]

[The Stark phone's feed is jumbled and half obscured by a pale hand with black polished nails, but it can still film the seven, knee-high garden gnomes converging on Serrure, each with an apple in an outstretched hand and plenty of half bitten, crushed apples around him.]

I said no apples. See? Full. Very full. Perhaps if you baked them in a pie or with some brown sugar sauce like that bakery-

[And a well aimed apple is now between Serrure's teeth, he takes a step back and something hits the back of his knees. Losing his balance he falls backwards, landing inside a clear container. The phone shifts just in time for the clear glass lid to come slamming down, sealing the glass coffin.

He spits out the apple.]

What are you- [Banging on the side with a closed fist.] Still alive in here. [But the forest animals have all ran off and the gnomes are busy arranging flowers around the base of the coffin. Serrure looks to the phone, starting to feel a bit fuzzy from the poison apples.]

Ah- help?

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[doeswhathewants]

[As one unit the gnomes cross their arms and shake their heads. Come on, kid, anyone can pull out a flaming sword and ermine trimmed cloak. Even those hideous breeches. What is that, velvet? That is so eleventh century.

But a prince needs a crown and that is final.

Loki sits up and glares at Luke, mouthing Worst. Rescue. Ever. Then drops back down when the gnomes whip around to look at him.]

[infernoandhearth]

[Luke shakes his head, thin-lipped. The lips are because he's biting back hysterical laughter. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, LOKI. THIS IS THE BEST RESCUER.]

Well, I shall go and fetch it, but I tell you, my ministers will not be pleased. Is there anything else you demand of me? So as to save time, you understand.

[doeswhathewants]

[The gnomes look at each other, then collectively give a shrug as if to say, couldn't say, really. But we will know when we see or do not see it.]

[infernoandhearth]

Oh svartálfar, you do try me. [He shakes his head again and wanders off into the forest. Once he's reached a far enough distance, again, he jams his fist into his mouth and giggles frantically into it. It's another twenty minutes before he comes back. He's brought a crown, which he is holding instead of wearing.]

I have returned! I didn't want the trees to scuff it up, or a branch to knock it off my head.

[doeswhathewants]

[The gnomes gather into a circle to confer, then spread apart. They incline their head to him and part, allowing him access to the glass coffin.

Then each raises a finger, points to the crown and points to Luke's head.]

[infernoandhearth]

[Right. Luke puts the crown on carefully before approaching the coffin.]

Anything else? Or might I finally take him home with me, now?

[doeswhathewants]

[The gnomes all raise a hand and pucker up their lips as if to show, kissss.

Serrure of the slightly cracked open eyelid was not amused.]

[infernoandhearth]

[Luke gives the gnomes a look. Why are they Disney. But ok. He lifts the lid carefully, leans down, and pretends to reconsider and kiss Serrure's cheek. Instead, he whispers in old Norse:]

Give me a sign if I've permission to use my magic on you.

[And then he stands up, looks at Serrure, and gives the gnomes a bewildered look.]

It didn't work. Must it really be his mouth? How do I know what he had isn't catching?

[doeswhathewants]

[Serrure heard him and, with Luke blocking him from view, opened one eye, then closed it quickly. Permission granted.

The gnomes meanwhile, just looked at each other, shrugged collectively and gestured. All requirements had been fulfilled. Hardly their fault if the princess was defective.]

[infernoandhearth]

[Ok. Fuck these gnomes. Like. Seriously. Luke leans down again, holds Serrure by the shoulders as if to brace himself for the kiss, and then simultaneously changes Serrure to a nut and himself to an eagle with the nut in his claws. He flaps, and up and away they go, Luke screeching rude things at the gnomes in Eagle. He is fully prepared to dodge apples if necessary.]

[doeswhathewants]

[And then Loki was a nut and the gnomes were tossing apples.]

[infernoandhearth]

[It is sure good Luke was ready to avoid those! He flies really high, and then swoops them down at the next clearing over.

Over a mile.

He sets Loki down and turns the both of them back, already stretching his arms back and rolling his shoulders. He grins at Loki, a bit smug.]

Quest completed.

[doeswhathewants]

Do not expect a kiss, my brave ah- prince.

[infernoandhearth]

[Yeah, Luke's already dumped all that clothing shit, back with the eagle. He's in plaid and jeans again.]

I might have just stolen one if I were expecting it. As part of the plan. That was a lark, wasn't it? How's the poison?

[doeswhathewants]

[Lumberjack prince. LOL]

Tastes like coconut.

[infernoandhearth]

Coconut and apples? Eugh.

[doeswhathewants]

Tell me about it. Most horrific after taste.

[infernoandhearth]

If they wanted you not to notice, they might have used something that blended well. I suppose they are only animated clay, really. Are you alright otherwise?