poly_chromatic | 010 ♛ Voice

Entry tags:

merlin (bbc) - arthur pendragon

010 ♛ Voice

[ He tried to make a private call to Merlin. It failed. Technology still escapes him sometimes. ]

Hey, do the clothes around here shrink or something? I'm definitely feeling a little bit of a pinch.

[ ever since Charlie's moved in, the food has gotten better and Arthur's been eating a heck of a lot more of it. Looks like the honeymoon phase is starting to wear off and they weren't even going out! ]

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[or...there would be a text if...charlie could bring herself to say anything that didn't potentially suggest Arthur might have gained some weight.

Also, she really can't help but think "oh oops. my bad." so this also makes texting hard. She opts for skipping his question entirely.]

Arthur, have you seen the gym in the City? Also do you want to go jogging with me sometime?

The gym? Why would I need to go to one of those? [ he still trains most days. Just not all day like he used to. ]

There's a wide variety of exercise equipment.

I think I'm good, thanks.

Okay. Also. Sometimes clothes shrink in the wash?

[Charlie, you've gone past being too nice and are now bordering on doing Arthur a disservice. Work on that.]

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You're thinking about it the wrong way. No-one else has shrinking clothes, so it's not the curse of the day.

Which means you're getting bigger. Also not the curse of the day, so you've done it all by yourself.

So what you're saying is this isn't a curse, but my or someone's doing then. As I have no reason to suspect it's myself, it must be Merlin. [ very good. Thank-you. He doesn't know what he'd do without you. He'd be caught in another prank war. ]

It must be, yes. I'd confront him about it, if I were you.

I fully plan to. I've spent good money on these clothes after all.

[Oh. It's that idiot man who thought women didn't have preferences.

Time to have "fun".]

Perhaps you've gotten fat.

[ he flinches ]

Impossible. [ he's just getting a little thick around the waist. ]

If clothes are shrinking, I swear I didn't do it.

This time.

...

This wasn't private was it. [ never mind what else she said. That was his biggest concern. ]

Not in the slightest.

Wonderful. I don't suppose you do know what's causing it then, do you? [ because he'd like to actually fit in his clothes you know! ]

More food, less exercise?

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—you didn't wash 'em, right?

Of course not.

That's Merlin's job. [ and really, why must everyone assume he's actually talking to them and not Merlin in the first place? He seriously needs to find himself an anti-network phone. ]

[ because you should have specified, Arthur. ]

Yeah, yeah. You still pay him over here?

[ well if he'd known it was being broadcasted to all and sundry he would have! ]

Pay him? For that? Don't be ridiculous. [ aka, Arthur doesn't make nearly enough to pay Merlin for anything anymore. ]

Not exactly a real job if he's just babysitting you for free!

Are you sure? [ Arthur was not meant for jeans. ]

Completely sure.

Then why aren't they fitting? [ he's having serious problems getting that button to line up just right. He's even having to suck in this stomach (a telling sign right there) ]