poly_chromatic | 005 | text | daddy dearest...?

Entry tags:

star trek xi - dr. leonard "bones" mccoy

005 | text | daddy dearest...?

if someone was dying and they asked you to kill them, would you do it?

[ Oh. Hi Wilson. Bones is going to stick to text because he's not sure if he can face anyone right now, not with this shade of his dead father behind him.

But it's Wilson, and he's come to trust the other doctor -- not to mention like him. ]

and if you thought you could find a cure if you had more time?

Well, that would certainly complicate the decision.

[And shifts his perspective from experiential to hypothetical, since he hasn't often been on the verge of curing any kind of cancer. Of course, he was already assuming that the question was about a specific situation.]

I think it would ultimately depend on the situation, though. There's still a lot to take into account - the treatment, potential complications or side effects, how full of a recovery can be expected even if the cure is successful...

[ McCoy doesn't answer for at least ten minutes. When he does... ]

I couldn't find it. Someone else did, but it was already too late.

[There's a delay on his side, too. Not as long.]

It's not an easy decision to begin with - it's one that nobody should have to make - but to have it turn out that way... I'm sorry. I don't think that you did anything wrong, but I am. It's an act done out of compassion, not wanting them to suffer slowly - those are in line with what we're meant to be doing, even if ending a life feels like it isn't. There was no way that you could have known.

[ Another delay. He knows Wilson's right -- it's what he would tell anyone else, if the situation were different. If it weren't him. If the man he'd done it to weren't behind him now, telling him to stop feeling guilty over it when he can't.

The delay is long, but his answer is short. ]

it was my father.

[And that short answer changes things; as much as he may have had a feeling there was something personal to it, the confirmation carries that much more weight. His delay is longer than the last this time.]

Which I'm sure was all the more reason you didn't want him to be in pain.

I can't imagine what you've gone through, and I would never presume to try, but it's still true. You acted out of compassion and, I would assume, love - as horribly as it turned out, I don't think what you did was wrong.

he keeps telling me to stop feeling guilty. not quite that easy, though.

No, I wouldn't expect it to be. Guilt isn't often willed away.

no, it isn't.

ugh. long fucking day.

You aren't working today, are you?

no. god no. knew that wasn't going to happen before this curse.

Good. If you had been, I mean-- covering the shift wouldn't have been an issue.

thanks. means a lot.

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005 | text | daddy dearest...?

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