01 ✣ VIDEO

[merespark]

[ A guy with red hair is smiling faintly at the camera. He looks a bit lost and embarrassed. The look you could easily picture on the face of a tourist looking for the restroom. ]

Can anyone tell me the way to Heaven? I must have taken the wrong turn.

[ He scratches his head and chuckles. ]

I didn't sign up for this, you know. That death was glorious and it didn't lack drama either. It all served a purpose. Did you even see it, God? A hero like me shouldn't end up in Hell – not even by mistake, haha...

[ He pauses as if he's listening to some distant noise. ]

And what's with the ticking?

Comments

[merespark]

Well, I'm sorry to spoil your fun but I'm already dead.

No use wasting any bullets on me.

[theshinjukucroc]

Any other old news you want to share? I know that one already.

1/2

[merespark]

SMOKING WORSENS YOUR SEXUAL PERFORMANCE

[merespark]

That's all.

But I guess you knew that already.

[theshinjukucroc]

Gazelle has no complaints about my performance levels, flaming perv.

[merespark]

Gazelle? Is that...

But she's...

[ dead like me. ]

[theshinjukucroc]

She's alive here. Pulled from before that.

[merespark]

... Must be hard for you.

[theshinjukucroc]

No.

[Lies.]

[merespark]

No I meant your dick.

[theshinjukucroc]

My dick is fucking happy.

[merespark]

Well I'm happy for you both.