First Prank: Grand Entrance

[doeswhathewants]

[A charming smile with wide and innocuous green eyes, though the glitter in them is something less than harmless and innocent. When he speaks, his voice is light and engaging. Ignore the fact that he’s soaking wet.]

Hello out there!

[The volume is a bit loud and he winces before catching it and allowing his features to adjust back into that beguiling smile. He fixes the volume, teeth catching his lower lip in an expression that really is innocent. His charm does not fade as he speaks again]

Let's try this again? Ah. Better. Now. It seems there has been a terrible mistake, a grave error, I am entirely unsure of where I am, only that I woke up here- yes! woke up!- after being dumped in a fountain and er- found this Stark phone on my person. .

Obviously, whoever has done this has the wrong person entirely. I am no one at all of consequence, a Parisian orphan.

[He frowns and the expression is solemn, pious]

Now, if you please, could someone tell me how far back to Paris?

[OoC Note: Serrure speaks in the All Tongue (he understands every language, anyone he speaks to will understand him) but he thinks he's speaking in French and will assume everyone else is, too.]

Comments

[doeswhathewants]

Oh yes. Truly, it was awful. My parents were ah- murdered by my father's evil business partner. I only survived because I was... awayat boarding school. He took everything. And I was put out on the streets to survive by my wits alone.

I have lost [Dramatic sigh] everything.

[shall_yield_us]

[ ...wait.

Wait.


Wait. ]




...is that... it?

[doeswhathewants]

Did I mention the dragons? And.... the evil witch? The ugly evil witch? Well, I was giving you the short version. I wouldn't wish to impose on your time.

[shall_yield_us]

And you weren't even taken on a ship, or sold in slavery, or...?

[doeswhathewants]

Oh, but there was a ship, and I very nearly died. You see, my father's business partner, he employed the evil witch to ah- attempt to steal my pure heart. So he could forge an ultimate weapon to tame the dragon, you see. The dragon... the dragon Jorgamund, who was capable of ah eating the world.

So, before the murders even took place, I was kidnapped and taken out to the middle of the sea. Chained. The middle of the sea because that is where Jorgamund lives. He's... well he prefers the water. Less people, he's on a seafood diet. Anyway, so the night before they were going to sacrifice me, I told the evil witch a story, it was a wonderful story with ah... genies and ah unicorns- but it was a short story. And after I finished, she asked me to tell her another one, so ... I started to tell her another story, but as I got to the height of the climax, I told her I was tired and that I would finish it the next night.

But the next night- I am sure you see where I am going with this- she did not wish to sacrifice me before she heard the ending of the story. So I did the same thing. Finished that story and started a new one- this one was about the secret of eternal youth and beauty. Because she was ugly, you see, she was very interested in this story, but like the night before, I stopped in the middle and said it was time for her to take my heart.

Well, she told me she would spare me if I finished the story and told her how to become beautiful- so I told her that ah...she had to ... put three drops of her blood into the foam on the tops of the ocean waves... and as she was leaning over the side of the ship to do it... I kicked her in.

And the dragon ate her. And he was so glad for that- because witches are tasty to dragons- he let me climb onto his back and flew me to safety.

[He really hopes this person is truly wealthy and not just a nutball.]

1/idefk

[shall_yield_us]

Oh, my poor angel.

[shall_yield_us]

Oh, my poor darling.

[shall_yield_us]

Oh, my poor hea -

[shall_yield_us]

...hold, I forget if you've still your heart, hmm -

[shall_yield_us]

Oh, my poor little Scheheraza -

[shall_yield_us]

Oops. We mustn't dare the plagiarism tides, now must we? Not with a tale between us -

[shall_yield_us]

Oh, my poor little vicious witch-killer. My hero who somehow misplaced his winged steed. Tsk.

done

[shall_yield_us]

...there, was that properly sympathetic to your ear? It was terribly sympathetic to mine.

[doeswhathewants]

[Oh he likes you.]

Terribly sympathetic, thank you ever so much for allowing me your time and indulging in empathizing with my woeful situation.

[shall_yield_us]

Shall I tell you my tale of tragedy?

[doeswhathewants]

I would be so very honored if you would.

[shall_yield_us]

It all began on that day of days, its morning sweet, its first rays of sun sorrowful for they took with them the promise of - what comes before mornings? Quite - night. On that unholy morrow, I writhed in sheer agony: I came upon a cold sweat, I moaned and I groaned and found my hair wet with from the tears of the thousand attendants who, faced with my pain, could no longer bear its evidence - and can you imagine what it was, my love? The source of all my anguish, of such hellish torture? Can you guess?

[doeswhathewants]

Oh no, I am sure something like that is far beyond my reckoning.

1/2

[shall_yield_us]

It was... it... was...

[shall_yield_us]

- a vision that one day a sheer and absolute fool would come waste my time and my audience with poorly crafted lies of witches, unicorns, destitute sires in duress and dragons!

[doeswhathewants]

You shouldn't make that face. I can see your wrinkles.

[shall_yield_us]

And I can eat your heart. Your point?

[doeswhathewants]

Assuming I have one.

But you know, I like you. You're interesting.

[shall_yield_us]

Will your love of me feed my young or curl my hair?

[doeswhathewants]

Love? That's a bit premature, do you not think? We haven't even had dinner.