[video/action]

[candothat]

Enterprise? Do you read?

[A curly-headed boy, almost certainly not out of his teens, frowns at the screen. His words are rendered somewhat incomprehensible by a thick Eastern European accent in spite of his obvious attempts to annunciate.]

Ensign Chekov to bridge. Uhura? Sulu? …Mr. Spock? Chekov to engineering. Mr. Scott, can you hear me? There may have been a... ah, a malfunction with the teleporter.

Can anyone hear me?

[He sighs and fiddles with something on his device. The video feed distorts momentarily before returning to normal. When the teenager speaks again, his tone is low and words less painstakingly produced as if he’s speaking himself.]

Ai, what is this? There shouldn’t be interference this far out from the magnetic anomaly. Eto piz`dets…

Comments

[PUBLIC video]

[candothat]

[Public, because what did his face do there.]

What?

[PUBLIC video]

[socoolbrewster]

You heard me. Or are you gonna act like you don't know what I'm talking about while you're busy playing navigator?

God. And I thought you couldn't be any more of a tool.

[public video]

[candothat]

How can I act like I do not know what you are talking about when I do not know what you are talking about?

You are confused.

[private video]

[socoolbrewster]

So that's how it's gonna be, huh? I'm confused. Geez, Brewster, just when I thought you couldn't possibly stoop any lower, now you just flat-out play dumb to make me look like the asshole. When it's your fault I'm in this mess to begin with. Real nice. I hope everything works out for you, I really do.

[SO sarcastic.]

[public video]

[candothat]

I am not playing dumb. You are not the first person who has thought that I am someone I am not.

[private video]

[socoolbrewster]

...So you want me to believe you didn't just walk out of a Con. That you're actually in Starfleet, that you're from Russia instead of Vegas. And the fact that you look like some asshole I know is just, what, coincidence?

[private video]

[candothat]

Yes.

[That would be very kind of you, actually.]

[private video]

[socoolbrewster]

Bullshit. Prove it.

[private video]

[candothat]

I cannot prove that I am not something. The burden of proof is yours.

[private video]

[socoolbrewster]

But it's easier to prove you're not someone than it is to prove you are. Negatives are always easier to prove.

[private video]

[candothat]

[Siiiiigh.] Then you may tell me how to prove that I am not the person you think I am.

[private video]

[socoolbrewster]

Fine. What's the name of your hoover of a girlfriend.

[...Whatever that means.]

[private video]

[candothat]

Hoover?

[Whatever that means.]

[private video]

[socoolbrewster]

...Yeah. She eats everything in sight?

[private video]

[candothat]

A hoover does?

[private video]

[socoolbrewster]

Uh, yeah? Because it's a vacuum cleaner?

...Shit, fine. Unless you're playing dumb intentionally, I guess you pass.

[private video]

[candothat]

[Ohhh.] You might have said that to begin with.

And I do not play dumb.

[public video: THREADJACKED!]

[charring]

Hey, Ed? Newsflash.

That's not Brewster.

[public video: THREADJACKED!]

[socoolbrewster]

Stay out of this, McGee, it doesn't have anything to do with you.

[public video: THREADJACKED!]

[charring]

Nope. That's not your Brewster. That accent is ridiculously hard to fake. He looks far too young. I believe him when he says he's Pavel Chekov.

[private video: THREADJACKED!]

[socoolbrewster]

How the fuck would you know, you saw him once. That's not exactly enough to build a case on. You having a conversation with the guy and deciding he's too cute to be a douchebag or whatever doesn't get him a defense. What, somebody shows up and claims they're not somebody you know and you're just supposed to believe them? People lie. He's not fucking Chekov.

[He needs him to not be Chekov. Because if there's someone walking around with Brewster's face that ISN'T Brewster? He can't handle that.]

[private video: THREADJACKED!]

[charring]

Yeah? This place also likes to pull in face doubles. I have a twin from another universe here. Her name is Wichita. I did tell you that this place pulls people from Everywhere, right? You have no reason to not trust me, here.

Are you home? I'll bring up my PS3 and explain it over Zombie Island or something.

[private video: THREADJACKED!]

[socoolbrewster]

Uh-huh. But that's somebody with your face, that's completely different. It's not somebody you know. What the hell am I supposed to do with that exactly, just strike up a normal conversation? Yeah, like that's gonna happen. "Hi, I'm sorry, I kind of want to punch your face in and/or rip your throat out, but how are you adjusting to this whole craziness? I hope the ride in wasn't too bad."

I'm home. Whatever, do what you want.

[private video: THREADJACKED!]

[charring]

Face doubles happen. Roll with it. Don't kill Pavel because he looks like a douche bag. Save that for if the douche bag shows up.

[See? Even Charlie has negative emotions towards Brewster.]

Be there in twenty. Got you sour gummy worms.

[private video: THREADJACKED!]

[socoolbrewster]

And I'll still be here.