Text (Backdated to Sunday)

[just_displaced]

Ten Things I Worry About:

1. War. Specifically nuclear war, but war in general qualifies, I guess.
2. Hurting someone.
3. My thoughts.
4. What if everything we experience is actually just in our heads and in reality nothing is real.
5. Reality and what defines it. Is it different for different people?
6. What happens after we die.
7. Dying a virgin.
8. Is it really important to wear matching socks? Who decided that? Is that completely arbitrary? Who decides what "matches" anyway?
9. Being stuck in the City forever.
10. Making lists because what if they're not actually the top ten things I worry about and there's something else I want to put on it but the list is already made?


[Cursed with Listmania, of course, and not thrilled about this being shared.]

Comments

[defies_reason]

I see little point in worrying about things you cannot affect; and worrying about the things you can change is a waste of effort.

I doubt you can do much about nuclear war, the nature of reality, the possibility of an afterlife, or the length of your stay in this place. Likewise the lists, provided those lists are a product of City-driven compulsions.

Your thoughts, your treatment of others, and your virginity might well be remedied.

I'm not quite certain how to address your issues with socks.

[just_displaced]

Yeah, see, you say that stuff can be remedied, but I don't think it's that easy. I mean, if it were that easy, I'd just go out and fix it. And then I could strike those things off my list -- which, yeah, the list is entirely the fault of the City and the dumb shit it makes us do.

[A sigh.]

Socks don't actually matter that much. I don't think. It's just an example of how arbitrary most rules about how you're supposed to look and act are.

[defies_reason]

Some parts will want more work than others.

[Isaak sounds amused.]

If you disagree with a basic sense of taste, I doubt anything I might say will change your mind.

[just_displaced]

Well, considering the way I dress, and how much it seems to distress people, I'm pretty sure that, yeah, I disagree with a basic sense of taste. Or at least, a normal sense of taste.

[He's slightly more amused by this now, too. More so than he was when this list got posted, at least.]

I'm working on remedying it. Some of it.

[defies_reason]

Perhaps improving your fashion sense would help with some of the rest.

[That's said in such a pleasant tone that it's probably not a dig.]

[just_displaced]

Yeah, maybe. But you know what? I like the way I dress. And if other people don't, I probably don't want to be losing my virginity to them anyway, right? I mean, first they're changing the way I dress, then what're they changing? That's a slippery slope I don't want to slide down.

[defies_reason]

Ah.

[just_displaced]

What? Is that weird?

[defies_reason]

You're looking for more than you let on.

[just_displaced]

What do you mean by that? I mean, maybe that's true, depending on how you mean it.

[defies_reason]

Your concern isn't dying a virgin, it's dying alone.

[just_displaced]

Um.

[Reduced to silence? Him? Only for a moment.]

Yeah, I guess so. Isn't that a pretty common worry?

[defies_reason]

Some would say we all die alone.

[If it's a breezy enough aside, maybe that won't sting so badly. Moving on.]

That's rather a different problem. Not necessarily insurmountable; but not so simple as finding someone to sleep with.

[just_displaced]

Well, yeah, technically speaking, I guess we do.

[That doesn't bother him. Or at least, it's not a thought he hasn't had a million times before.]

Okay, but the first part of the problem is finding someone to sleep with. Because I'm twenty four. Twenty four. At this point, it's just sad.

[defies_reason]

You romanticise it too much.

[just_displaced]

Do I? I mean, when I've reached the point where I just want to get it out of the way so it's not looming over my head, does that count as romanticizing?

[defies_reason]

If you're so desperate there are professionals, you know.

[just_displaced]

I'm not sure I'm that desperate.

[defies_reason]

Rather dismissive toward those who've chosen that line of work.

[just_displaced]

I meant it to be dismissive towards myself, actually. I'd feel bad for anyone in that line of work having to deal with me.

[defies_reason]

I'm sure you're not as bad as all that.

[just_displaced]

I don't think I'm all that bad, no, but I guess I'm probably biased. Most people don't think they're as bad as they are. And the rest of the time, they think they're worse than they are. And I alternate back and forth between the two.

[defies_reason]

Some people do find excessive self-deprecation attractive, but I think, perhaps, that might be a bit advanced for your needs.

[just_displaced]

So what would you suggest I do? I mean, you're obviously the type of guy that's never had a problem with that kind of thing.

[defies_reason]

You might find a reasonably attractive stranger, buy them a drink, hope for the best, and if necessary never speak to them again.