Text

[recognize_an_opportunity]

[Even if he'd seen the other posts with peoples' internet search history, he wouldn't be prepared for this...]

October 1
6:56am "The 101 best card tricks to wow your friends"
5:45am "Hot businessmen have kinky sex"

September 30
11:30pm "How to get blood out of linen: a step by step guide"

September 29
7:32pm "The best apple pie recipe ever" 

[OOC: So cursed. Please, someone. Tell him.]

Comments

[text]

[brobeforehos]

So everyone's porn history's on the network but at least it's not unusual.

Re: [text]

[recognize_an_opportunity]

What?

[Give him a second to look at the network... Oh.]

Saying "that's not mine" will make it look worse, right?

[text]

[brobeforehos]

I think everyone knows already.

Re: [text]

[recognize_an_opportunity]

Wonderful. An excellent start to the month.

text;

[ladycroft]

Removing blood stains? I have a solution if you still need one.

Re: text;

[recognize_an_opportunity]

Oh? I'll take a second opinion, sure.

Re: text;

[ladycroft]

Soak the sheets in cold water. Apply a stain removal solution that has ammonia in it, or block soap, tenacity and patience. Block soap works well with linen, so I'll go with that one. Rub the soap into the stain until you get a really good lather. Get a good grip on the sheets with both hands and align the stain so you can rub it against itself, not on your skin. You might have to wear gloves for this part. Rub with strong force and speed to remove remaining blood particles. Rinse periodically and repeat as needed.

Re: text;

[recognize_an_opportunity]

My concern is that the stain is on a suit jacket. I'm worried about being quite that hard on the fabric, but it might be my only option.

[yourbestguysgun]

Boy, am I ever glad I don't know how to use the damn thing.

[ Meyer you are the first adult he's seen faced with this so you get his attention. Kudos. ] How's the pie though? Is it actually the best?

[recognize_an_opportunity]

Ignorance is truly bliss sometimes.

The pie is good, but calling it the best is overstating it, I think.

[yourbestguysgun]

Yeah, beginning to think that's a good thing.

[ A laugh. ] The future's always overselling everything.

[defies_reason]

[Do you really need the net to find all of those?]

How was your apple pie?

[recognize_an_opportunity]

[No, but the Internet is still so new and exciting to him.]

The apple pie was fine, but I wouldn't call it the best in the world.

[defies_reason]

Ah, well. I hope the rest of your searches were less disappointing.

audio:

[grigio]

Would donuts cure this?

Re: audio:

[recognize_an_opportunity]

Donuts cure many things. I'm not sure they'll cure this, but they might help.

Action

[deadmanbusiness]

[Hey Meyer, one of your employees is sniggering as he checks his email.]

Re: Action

[recognize_an_opportunity]

[He's glaring in your general direction, Theo. He has some idea of what you might be sniggering about.]

Hilarious, really.

Re: Action

[deadmanbusiness]

I know a good apple pie recipe if you'd like.

text ]

[affectioning]

Did you learn any good tricks?

Re: text ]

[recognize_an_opportunity]

Several good card tricks, but unfortunately, I also learned that there's no trick to make this disappear from the network and have everyone forget about it.

text ]

[affectioning]

[ Fighting the urge to comment on how early in the morning he enjoys his porn ]

It's not that bad. It's not bloodplay. Or knotting.

[thenormalsquint]

Well, that's an interesting search.

[recognize_an_opportunity]

Which one?

[He wasn't really interested in sharing any of them, as a matter of fact.]

[thenormalsquint]

at first it was the business men, but then the blood out of linen one came and took first place.