( text 34 )

[studmuffin]

Today - Tuesday, October 1.

10:12 am: 7 Creepy Urban Legends That Happen To Be True. www.smashed.com
|
00.32 am: Muscle Jocks And Giant Cocks - scene 7. www.porncity.com

Yesterday - Monday, September 30.

11.23 pm: knotting in real life???? www.search.com
|
1.23 pm: TEN SIGNS HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. www.everymagazineever.com

Sunday, September 29.

3.24 am: are leprachauns real? www.search.com

ooc: OCTOBER 1 | Cookies Are for Eating or Deleting. Considering this is Stiles this is going to be NSFW. I'm sorry, I regret everything.

Comments

Voice

[just_displaced]

Well? Are leprechauns real? Inquiring minds want to know.

Voice

[studmuffin]

Um. The jury's still out. Some say yes but then they're drunk all the time so I'm not sure they're a viable research tool.

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Generally I think that people who're drunk all the time aren't particularly reliable, but maybe they're drunk all the time because they've realized that leprechauns are not only real, they're terrifying, and they're trying to drink away their sorrows.

Voice

[studmuffin]

[ ... ]

That is deeply disturbing. And I say that as the guy who's internet history is up on the network for all to see. Leprechauns turning people to drink. All I can think about is several thousand teeth.

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Hey, you know, it's possible. Leprechauns have that whole pot of gold at the end of the rainbow thing, right? How do we know they're not just luring people to the end of the rainbow with false promises, and then killing them?

Voice

[studmuffin]

Well, I'll add that to the list of things that stop me sleeping at night!

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

See, I'm not sure that'd even make it into my top fifty of things that stop me sleeping at night. It might be number fifty one, or something.

Voice

[studmuffin]

So what's the top five?

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

[Top five? That's difficult. He really has to think about it.]

The things I'm afraid of. You know, things like... Nuclear war breaking out. Getting drafted into the army. Accidentally hurting or killing someone. Being stuck living with my dad forever. Dying a virgin.

Those're all subject to change, of course. What're yours?

Voice

[studmuffin]

[ Being murdered by werewolves. Being murdered by a lizard monster. Being murdered by some other Supernatural creature. Losing his dad. Losing all his friends.

So he hums and it's light and not at all full of trauma. ]

Clowns, chemistry tests, social gatherings, dating, dying a virgin.

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Those are all completely valid. Especially the last three. Especially dating. I mean, whether you are dating or you aren't dating, it's terrifying either way.

Voice

[studmuffin]

[ He's only going to be dating for the next few hours and then dumpsville, the poor sod. ]

People are terrifying! Having to interact should be banned.

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Frankly? I'm with you. Whenever you have to interact with someone, you have to ask all of these questions to yourself. Are you talking enough, are you talking too much, are you standing too close, are you making eye contact, or if you are making eye contact, are you making too much and looking like a total creep? What do you do if they offer you drugs suddenly? What are you supposed to do with your hands? It'd be easier just to avoid people entirely.

Voice

[studmuffin]

[ You make so much sense, dude. ]

There should be a guide. And it should make sense. And not be super contradictory.

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

There should be. And it shouldn't say stuff like "be yourself" because that's what everyone says, but then when you actually are yourself, people give you these weird looks like you're an alien or something. Or is that just me?

Voice

[studmuffin]

Who the hell knows what be yourself actually means? Who even knows who they are?

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Right. And most people who say they know who they are are faking it worse than the rest of us. So in the end, I guess we all just gotta accept that we're weird, and awkward, and possibly dying as virgins, and leave it at that.

Voice

[studmuffin]

Wow. That's even more defeatist than I am usually. I feel like that's a record.

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Yeah, but see, it's not actually defeatist. It's actually very freeing. I mean, half of the reason people're miserable all the time is because they care so much about what people think about them, right? And what if we just accepted that we were weird and awkward, and we didn't give a shit? We'd be unstoppable.

Voice

[studmuffin]

You should do a lecture thing here. Weird Is Cool.

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Actually, that's not a bad idea. I'll make a note of it. Since I can't seem to get another job.

Voice

[studmuffin]

I'd totally come and listen. And I have awkward nerdy friends too.

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Good. Those're the best kind of friends. I mean, I imagine they would be. I don't really know.

Voice

[studmuffin]

You don't have any?

Re: Voice

[just_displaced]

Friends? Or awkward friends? Either way, I don't really have any. I have some coworkers that're okay. But they're back home, and I don't know if they count, because I have to work with them every day, and even though they get high sometimes and hug me, I don't know if they'd do that if we didn't work together.