[video + action if you prefer!]

[baitswitch]

[If you are wondering why the image on the screen is dark and grainy, there's a perfectly good explanation for it! No light inside a sandworm's gaping maw, bros.

There's a bit of shuffling, and OH THERE'S THE LIGHT- Jack just yanked his head back.

It's only natural to get curious about what things look like in there, especially when your wormy friend is being so obliging!!!!!]

Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd mistake you for a cozy cave! A cave with...plenty of teeth? But your teeth are lovely, of course.

[That earns him the equivalent of a nuzzle, which effectively winds him and knocks him flat on his back.

The worm whisperer, folks.]

Comments

[ video ]

[a_parting_word]

[ ...................OH HIS ABYSSAL GOD IT'S A SAND WORM GET IN THE CA -

GDI THERE ARE NO CARS. ]

Jack.

[ Beat. ]

Jack?

[ Beat. ]

JACK, THAT'S NO WHERE FOR A GENTLEMAN TO TOUCH A LADY.

[ video ]

[baitswitch]

[HOOKERS ARE NOT GENTLEMEN, GILBERT. DON'T EVER FORGET THAT.

His eyes are wide and wild when he extracts himself. Yep, that is indeed a profusely bleeding hand.]

She's perhaps a bit more spirited than I gave her credit for.

[ video ]

[a_parting_word]

That's what you get for taking liberties with - Jack? That's... that's really - is it really...

[ Yes, Gilbert Nightray, that is blood. ]

Take a - wrap something on it tightly to hold the bleeding. Rip a sleeve or a - where are you?

[ video ]

[baitswitch]

I know, I know, it was my fault. [to the worm] It was my fault! You did absolutely nothing wrong!

[And now- are you prepared for a striptease. BARE ARM, OH LAWD HAVE MERCY. Rip goes the sleeve.]

Where...hmm, my sense of direction is scrambled about with all this sand. I don't believe I'm too far away from where you were, though. [Panning the camera around with his good hand!]

[ video ]

[a_parting_word]

Right, I'll... I'll...

[ OH, WOW. Fabio. ]

Stop touching it! It bears some of the blame for the - abuse in your... relationship.

[ video ]

[baitswitch]

On the contrary, I think she's being more patient with me than I deserve. How would you feel if some strange man wandered along and stuck his head in your mouth?

[let us ignore the horribly dirty and improper implications this statement would suggest.]

[ video ] 1/3

[a_parting_word]

I would... I would certainly ask him to cordially remove his head from all and any of my orifices -

[ video ]

[a_parting_word]

...slowly...

[ video ] 3/4

[a_parting_word]

...with care that nothing's stuck...

[ video ]

[a_parting_word]

And once we've both been thusly satisfied, we would... say our courtesies and part ways with our dignities intact.

[ video ]

[baitswitch]

[.....that. That was rather beautiful.]

I see you've given the matter quite a bit of thought, Gil.

[ video ]1/2

[a_parting_word]

There's no reason for interspecies relationships not to follow a certain etiquette. We're all civilized adults.

[ video ]

[a_parting_word]

...and... sand worms.

[ video ]

[baitswitch]

[even more solemnly]

You suggest, I assume, that I am too forward a suitor.

[ video ]

[a_parting_word]

I would never... that's... in the end, it's your concern. The both of yours. Together. I wouldn't presume to say - perhaps not in the early stages of your... courtship?

[ video ]

[baitswitch]

[he tried to be serious. he really did. but. you know. one can only take things so far.]

[ video ]

[a_parting_word]

[ ......................oh ]

We're... if Elliot should ask. Please. This conversation never happened.

[ video ]

[baitswitch]

[:))))))))))))))))))))))]

What conversation? Stop talking nonsense.