♦♦ 30TH CONTRACT - ANONYMOUS TEXT/ ACTION

[mortemscintilla]

Dear City,

Has anyone ever wondered about the ridiculous choices available in condoms? Or what they mean?

If you buy ribbed condoms, exactly who is that for? And what does it say to your partner? Those bumps are so small, you can hardly feel them with your fingertips. I doubt someone's orifices will notice the difference. What, then, is the subtext? That your junk lacks the requisites they find satisfying? 'So, I got ribbed condoms because my dick lacks flair. Or maybe flare.' 

That doesn't bode well.

And what's with the coloured ones? Those in green -- do they make you fantasize about comic book heroes? Or does the idea of a green schlong make you think of gangrene and that they'll probably have to amputate? The yellow ones. Hepatic dysfunction comes to mind. I have no idea what to say about the blue numbers, except I doubt anyone's enjoying it. Tissue hypoxia does it for no-one. The reds just make me think of elongated clown noses. Those are creepy enough on a clown. You don't need them between anyone's legs. And black. I wish I knew what to say about black. Once you roll them on, they don't exactly look black. More like a dull grey, which reminds me of zombies. If you ride too hard, will it fall off?

Then there's the brandnames. Durex has an intimidating 'dure' message that says: you'd better go for hours and like it. Trojans disturb me for several reasons. No one enjoys the 'Trojan Horse' implications. Hung like a horse might be a compliment, but fatal surprises aren't. Lifestyle makes you think of underhanded marketing strategies. All I feel for them is postmodern despair. Bravo seems like you're congratulating someone before the show's even started. In most of Asia, the popular brand is OK, which is equally anti-climactic. I guess it's just OK for them.

Lastly, there's the issue of the amount of condoms. I've wondered about it for a long time. Is a 12-pack too desperate? Does it signify overachievement? Then again, the 5-pack seems a little condescending. Like you've got valid reasons to lower expectations. And just 1 condom? Don't get me started.

Sure, choice and variety are liberating. But is it worth the angst?

Options For Run-Ins:

※ Underground

※ Library

※ Anywhere Else 

[ ooc: No, Hei hasn't lost his mind. However the senseless post has a coded message for Pai. ((Earday Arflowerstay, odecay Green Yellow Blue. Outway of ellcay. Imway OK. at st 151. In other words:  Dear Starflower, code Green Yellow Blue (re: All Clear). Out of cell. I'm OK.  At street 151.)) Blue highlights not ic, but can be if you'd like to go that route for funsies! Replies will be anonymous and untraceable! also, backtagging will be mighty, since I am a slow hiatusaurus<3 ]

Comments

[sleepingstar]

Of course not. [She would have killed anyone who did.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei's lips twitch around a second bite on his snack. That's my girl. Passing his free arm around her, he feels a cool perplexing rush of gratitude. It has less to do with being out of his cell, with Pai again, and more to do with how patient she's been in the face of this debacle. In her place, Hei would've seethed at being kept in the dark. Especially with the original attack on Heaven's Gate still zinging with such resonance in the corners of his memory. ]

[ Lowering his voice, he murmurs, ]

I'll tell you what I learnt from Anonymous' notes. Once we're home and I've fed you an actual meal.

[sleepingstar]

[Patience is a true Contractor's middle name. She is not pleased with the choices he made, but the past is the past, all's well that ends well, etc. Any resentment she may feel is weak, muted. It serves no purpose, so she doesn't entertain it.]

I want steak empanadas.

[(In her heart of hearts, she's even less resentful than she seems. But a guilty Hei is a Hei even more inclined than usual to give her what she wants.)]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei isn't sentimental in the accepted sense. Sentiment doesn't mean weakness, but the threat of someone to interpret it as such, a chink in the armor that invites clumsier errors. Hei's given up on that a long time ago -- but for everyone there is someone who gets under their skins, who touches spots and emotions and ideas like no one else does, and for whom they do the unthinkable. Pai is like that for Hei, just as he, he's beginning to realize too late, was like that for Amber. ]

[ He's smiling when he looks at Pai -- this wily yet still-innocent creature shuffled onto his deck, who thinks pouts and petulance will give her what she wants, when all she has to do is tell him. She can't coax or charm him into loving her more, not when he already does with everything he is. ]

I'll make so many you'll be sick of them.

[ It's as close as he gets to saying We're on borrowed time here, and I'll always make the most of it. ]

[sleepingstar]

Nope. [She could never get sick of steak empanadas, okay? They are one of her Top Five Favorite Foods. She could eat buckets of them.]

[mortemscintilla]

Challenge accepted.

[ Never say never when you have a determined chef, an abundance of raw materials, and hours to prepare second and third helpings. ]