poly_chromatic | Action / Accidental Video

[There’s no way Ginsberg’s been looking at the communicator. No, it might as well not exist at all, although it is recording, although he's unaware of it. Instead, he’s sitting on the edge of the fountain, soaking wet, talking to… whoever happens to wander by -- and, apparently, to the network, as well.]

Where am I? Is this some kind of drug induced hallucination? Because let me tell you right now, I don’t do that kind of thing. If someone snuck something into my coffee, I’m gonna be mad. I keep telling everyone, that stuff makes me paranoid. And now something’s making me hallucinate a whole city.

[He scrubs a hand across his face, shaking the water out of his hair as he does so.]

I have work to do. This account, this Manischewitz account, I have to get to the meeting.

[A slight grumble, and then…]

Not that I want to go, anyway. If someone could point me back to Madison Avenue, though, that’d be great. Really great. In fact, look, I’ll buy you lunch or something if you can get me out of here. Just get me out of here.

[He puts his head in his hands.]

I don’t know what the hell’s going on...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's all right. Sometimes not remembering things is better. We usually don't remember our dreams, either. This can be like a dream.

[A long pause.]

Of course, unlike a dream, there're still the mundane questions of what we do around here to get food and shelter. I assume people have jobs? This isn't some kind of utopia where no one needs to work?

There are dreams that I would like to remember.

Ah, no--not a utopia. Jobs aren't difficult to find, and I think that they pay well enough. What work would you do?

Not the really weird dreams, though. Not the ones that're more like a surrealist painting than a dream. And that's what this is.

I'm a copywriter at an ad agency. There probably aren't many job opportunities for copywriters around here, are there? Since we're all stuck here, I doubt most companies need to advertise -- talk about a captive audience.

Do you think so? It isn't surreal to me, but maybe I have been here for too long.

There are advertisements. Not many. What does a copywriter do? I have never heard of this position.

Copywriters write the text for advertisements. You know, if there has to be a catchphrase or a slogan, we come up with it. If there has to be an advertisement on television, we come up with the script. We tell the story, basically, and the art directors come up with the images to go with it.

[He's riveted. This is fascinating information.]

Then many people read what you write? Some of them even memorize your words, I would think. You're a famous author.

Edited 2013-09-15 18:17 (UTC)

[This is literally the most flattered Ginsberg has ever felt. Good job, Chekov.]

A lot of people hear the things I write, yeah, and a lot of them see the ads on TV, but they don't usually think about who's behind them. I mean, as far as they're concerned, it's just an advertisement for a car company, or a airline, or ice cream. The ads get famous, not the writers.

Yes, but the words are still yours! It is like coming up with a new equation and not having it named after you. There is something out there--something that's yours--being used by others, even if they will never learn your name.

That's true. And I'll always have that smug sense of satisfaction every time I hear someone quoting an ad that I came up with. Partially because most of that stuff is bullshit, and partially because it's my bullshit.

Precisely. You have every reason to be proud of your bullshit.

[Okay, now he's actually laughing. He likes you, Chekov. You've made him stop panicking and start being amused.]

I'll put that on my resume when I look for a job around here. It'll say "some guy I just met in an alternate dimension says I'm really good at bullshitting." I'm pretty sure that's guaranteed to land me just about any job. I'll be running the place in no time.

[All in a day's work.]

People have been given jobs with worse references.

Tell me about it. I didn't have references at all for my last job. I made them up.

[Oops. Did he just admit that.]

Anyway, thanks for all the information. Just as soon as I can get my brain to process all of it, I'm sure it'll prove useful.

No, see, making things up for your previous job only shows that you are good at what you do.

If you have other questions after you have processed, I will try to answer them. I have been studying the City since my arrival.

[All of this flattery. How does he even handle it?]

I'll keep that in mind. You're the kind guy who tells it like it is. None of this "you'll be fine" bullshit. I mean, not that I don't respect bullshit, obviously, but in a situation like this, it's good to hear that there're practical ways to deal with it. I'm not a fan of meaningless reassurances.

[ur teh best @ bullshit, Ginsberg]

I promise you that I will never bullshit unnecessarily. Practicality is far more useful than reassurance.

I'm glad to hear you're leaving the field open for necessary bullshit. Smart kid. Not that you're actually that much younger than me, I guess, but hey.

[Ginsberg is racking up points. No one over the age of, like, sixteen ever assumes he's about the same age as them.]

Bullshitting when necessary is the most I can do, sadly. I have never had to do it professionally and have no natural talent for it. Perhaps you could give lessons.

Sure. Is that the kind of thing they pay for? I mean, being a bullshit tutor is one of those things that could have a lot of practicality. Maybe I'll open up my own business.

In the City, you can be paid for anything that at least one person has an interest in. I have an interest in learning bullshit. So, yes, that is the kind of thing that you can be paid for.

Why do you want to learn bullshit? I have to make sure you'll use it for good and not for evil. I don't want to inadvertently create a monster.

[He smiles winningly, tapping into his reserves of charm and cuteness.]

Because I am a terrible liar. It is only fair that I learn to exaggerate artfully to make up for this shortcoming, and I vow to cause no trouble.

Well, on the bright side, that smile's got you about halfway there anyway. I bet people find it hard to resist.

All right, well, if you're not going to cause any trouble, the art of exaggeration's easy to learn. You'll be slinging bullshit with the pros in no time.

Some people. Others are not so easily swayed.

I look forward to our lessons, Mr. Ginsberg.

Yeah, me too. I'll see you around.

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