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[never_very_good]

[ VOICE ]

[The feed clicks on with a long moment of silence. Contemplative silence; or really, resisting silence. But the curse wins out.

They always do.]

I don't wanna talk about dying. Don't wanna think about it, either, but I do. Not all the time but more than I want. Knowing how you're gonna go doesn't make it easier; and I dunno when, just whenever this place is done. Nothing strange there, I guess, except I got used to not worrying about it. Life's a bitch and then you don't die, Ed said. He's the only one I ever knew who it bothered.

Knowing why helps a little, doesn't mean I'm not till fucking terrified. You'd think maybe it wouldn't be scary, knowing how, but it just means I know it's gonna hurt. Not a thing to change that. Doesn't help knowing it's a good cause.

[There's a long pause.]

The first time-- when I died, I mean-- it hurt like fuck but it wasn't so bad, or maybe it's just you forget after a while. Everything gets a little numb. Had ten years of that. But it was easier-- I mean, I knew I'd come out the other side anyway, wasn't the same as this. Everyone told you it'd hurt but not how bad-- didn't wanna scare me off, maybe. Getting bit wasn't the bad part, at least not for me. Not when I knew it was coming. Knew the girl, even. But after-- you lose enough blood and your body starts to panic even if you didn't mean it. And once you're infected that's it. That's what hurts.

Coming back was just as bad. Fuck, and I had it easy. I'm the only one who didn't fucking light myself on fire.

[Another pause.]

I'm gonna be torn to shreds when I go. There's your fucking story, City. That's all I got.

Comments

[never_very_good]

Works out better for some of us, curses and all.

[spaghettiokay]

This place? Really?

[He frowns. Hadn't really considered that other people from other worlds may have it harder than they do here...And even compared to his own, at least this place had food and shelter...]

I mean...I guess I have it pretty easy back home, but...

[He shrugs, looking a little embarrassed now.]

I don't know. Doesn't make it any easier that I can't go back...

[never_very_good]

Everyone goes back sooner or later. Like I say, I can't complain, with what I got to go back to, you know? This place is something. Better than being dead.

Better than I was alive, probably.

But if you're going back to something good-- fuck, most places are probably better than this. I'm not saying they're not. But it's this or I die. Even if it was shittier here I'd probably pick it over getting eaten.

[spaghettiokay]

[His words are...chilling. Sobering. And...somehow they do manage to make him feel just...a little bit better. More fortunate, perhaps.

[But not without a hard swallow.]

So, are you like...dead dead back home? For good, I mean.

[never_very_good]

Not yet. But I'm gonna be.

[spaghettiokay]

How do you know?

[Maybe the death penalty or something...? Someone after him?]

[never_very_good]

Cause I know what's waiting, you know? What were you doing before you got here? When you go home, you go right back, you know?

I was waiting for them to strike. I don't mean, I thought shit was gonna go bad, you know? It's me maybe eight feet from a crowd of starving vampires and they're about to start running. What the fuck else is going to happen? I got nowhere to go.

[spaghettiokay]

O-oh...

[Oh.]

That's...that's fucking rough, man, I--

[I'm...sorry? Jesus, you really shouldn't have asked...]

Wait a minute, didn't you say you were a vampire?

They don't eat each other...do they?

[never_very_good]

I said I'm not anymore.

[spaghettiokay]

Fuck, that's right...

[Thinking.]

How did you go about that one again...?

[He's asking a lot of questions, he knows, but like you said, he doesn't exactly have anyone to ask back home...]

[never_very_good]

My brother found a cure.

[spaghettiokay]

No shit.

Well, that's pretty fucking cool...

[Eh...]

Or, you know...

It...would be...

[Frowning.]

Sorry, dude.

[never_very_good]

You don't have to apologize. It's weird, I get it. Shit you don't have at home.

You get used to that, sorta.

[spaghettiokay]

If I heard right, we don't really have much of a choice.

[never_very_good]

Pretty much.