Yusuf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
diastereomer) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
poly_chromatic2012-01-19 12:44 pm
diastereomer) wrote in poly_chromatic2012-01-19 12:44 pm
Entry tags:
a c t i o n ][cursed][ 008
The network has certainly churned out a number of responses today, but I feel there has been a common misconception that should be addressed.
Sex is not simple.
There is no formula of in-out-in-out that achieves a magical simultaneous orgasm. What you get out of a sexual encounter is highly dependent on what you go into it knowing about yourself; at times, that may not be much, and that is perfectly acceptable. You have every right to be unsure, to try something just for the sake of seeing if it might be something you want to try again- and if not, then no harm done! There is a certain self-consciousness that permeates the realm of sexual encounters; a worry that if one asks questions they will seem incompetent or undesirable in some fundamentally flawed way, and that does nothing but hinder what could otherwise be a good time for all parties involved.
Intimacy is not necessarily defined by the parameters of a long-term relationship, but rather the level of honesty you achieve with the other person-- or persons, if that happens to be the case. Sex is messy and complicated and oftentimes not as linear as books, or television, or even our friends would like us to believe.
Sex is not a performance art, it is an endeavor in satisfaction. Not knowing is forgivable- sometimes you just can't tell- but not asking, not making sure you've completely satisfied your partner in every way you are capable of and comfortable with, is selfish and infinitely unattractive. Rest assured, you may not be able to tell the difference between bravado and skill, but your partner will.
So ask. Ask in the act. Ask after the act. Ask over some kebabs in the park-- just make sure that you give as good as you get.
(( ooc: backdated to sometime last night! ))
Sex is not simple.
There is no formula of in-out-in-out that achieves a magical simultaneous orgasm. What you get out of a sexual encounter is highly dependent on what you go into it knowing about yourself; at times, that may not be much, and that is perfectly acceptable. You have every right to be unsure, to try something just for the sake of seeing if it might be something you want to try again- and if not, then no harm done! There is a certain self-consciousness that permeates the realm of sexual encounters; a worry that if one asks questions they will seem incompetent or undesirable in some fundamentally flawed way, and that does nothing but hinder what could otherwise be a good time for all parties involved.
Intimacy is not necessarily defined by the parameters of a long-term relationship, but rather the level of honesty you achieve with the other person-- or persons, if that happens to be the case. Sex is messy and complicated and oftentimes not as linear as books, or television, or even our friends would like us to believe.
Sex is not a performance art, it is an endeavor in satisfaction. Not knowing is forgivable- sometimes you just can't tell- but not asking, not making sure you've completely satisfied your partner in every way you are capable of and comfortable with, is selfish and infinitely unattractive. Rest assured, you may not be able to tell the difference between bravado and skill, but your partner will.
So ask. Ask in the act. Ask after the act. Ask over some kebabs in the park-- just make sure that you give as good as you get.
(( ooc: backdated to sometime last night! ))
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